Separated But Not Divorced: Should You Date Men Who Are Still Married?
By: Taren Vaughan
Marriages are supposed to be very sacred unions between two individuals that have an unconditional love for each other. Unfortunately, some married couples get to the point where they no longer desire to be together. Not being together can mean one of two things. Either the couple is officially divorced or they are separated from each other. Before they resort to getting a divorce, some people simply decide to separate from their spouses first. Many would argue that dating a man who is separated from their spouse is an acceptable thing to do. If a man does not live with his wife anymore, is it fine to claim him as your own?
Yes, you may be able to claim him as far as a relationship goes. But legally, he holds no true obligation to you. He is still obligated to his wife. And if something happens to him, who do you think will receive all of the financial benefits and personal belongings that are in his name? Not you of course. By law, his wife and possibly other family members would get everything. Girlfriends don’t have those kinds of privileges.
Your relationship with a separated but married man can be even more difficult to manage when there are children involved. If a man has kids with his wife, they will have to have some form of communication with each other for their children’s sake. Remember, they separated from their wife, not their children too. Take the time to really think about this for a moment. What if you just so happen to be dating a married but separated man who has absolutely no intentions of divorcing his wife? Where does that leave you? Will you forever be known as the girlfriend and nothing more? If you can handle a situation like this, my props go out to you.
Myself personally, I know it would be extremely hard for me to be with a man who I knew still had a wife. In the back of my mind, I would never feel like his number one. Dating a man that is separated from his wife just seems to be too risky. In any relationship, a woman runs the chance of becoming very emotionally attached which can sometimes lead to hurt feelings. But dating a man that is not yet divorced from his wife is potentially setting yourself up for a heart break and a boat load of drama. And no one, I mean NO ONE, is worth all that.
Despite the risks associated with dating married but separated men, there are plenty of women out there who do it. I am not knocking women who do this because there are situations like this that are indeed drama free. But you have to keep in mind that you are the girlfriend and not the wife. A spousal separation is not the same as an official divorce so don’t get it twisted. He could up and leave you one day and decide to try to make it work with his wife. On the flip side of things, he could decide to stay with you, play like Usher and finally sign those papers. But until he does this, sorry to break the bad news to you but he is legally someone else’s man.