Ladies, we all know that it’s no better feeling than having someone special in your life. Good relationships are like a hot plate of your Grandmother’s soul food; nurturing and good for the soul. Despite a few calories and imperfections, you receive the type of nourishment that could possibly keep you from ever starving again. It feels good to be full, but it seems like so many of us get excited off that shabby plate of appetizers, and it’s that premature excitement that gets us in trouble and causes us to lose all of our common sense, and fall in love when we’re only getting a taste, and not even the full course meal.
Why is that?
Now before you count yourself out the equation, think long and hard about what it takes to excite you. Is it fancy dinners, cutesy text messages, or those legendary, “I just wanted to know how your day was” phone calls?
Or is it the romantic walks in the park, random bouquet of flowers, or the infamous forehead kiss?
While all these things may sound good (or even be good) in theory, have you ever thought about how simple they are to execute?
Fancy dinners and a random bouquet of flowers only requires a little money and a couple hours from a potential suitor.
Cutesy text messages, “I just wanted to know how your day was” phone calls, romantic walks in the park, and the infamous forehead kiss cost nothing. These are free acts of affection, and a technique that just about any man will use, and does very often. They’re easy and well…free.
It’s so easy that a caveman can do it, yet it excites just about any woman to the point that she’s thinking that a short term thing could turn into forever.
After receiving any of these things or a healthy variation of these things, you’ve gotten lovey dovey in your Facebook statuses, and proclaimed your love in your last 50 tweets. Too bad for you that you’ll be tweeting a different tune in a couple of months. And since it’s a cycle, expect to go through the motions a hundred times before you come to this simple conclusion:
Most men are amazing in the beginning, but it’s the stuff that happens after that, that reveals the true character of any man. Simply put, you’ve got to stop getting so excited over the easy things that only require a little money and a little time…and basically, a little effort.
If you’re looking for that soul rocking, endures all things, change your life like never before big love; you should preserve that excitement for the things that really matter. And that’s definitely not fancy dinners, pretty flowers, or cutesy test messages; nor a forehead kiss attached to a hidden agenda that involves lust and awkward sexual positions with a man you don’t even really know besides the romantic gestures.
Shouldn’t you at least know someone before falling in love with them?
Now I’m not saying this to ruffle any feathers, but instead sharing a lesson that I learned the hard way. Some men are all about the chase, and they know that we will fall victim to premature excitement and expectations. They do the easy things, and make women fall in love without even having to put in the work. What the hell are flowers compared to building a solid foundation? Don’t be that woman that falls in love because of the easy things. Aren’t you worth the real work?
And by real work, I mean a man that is taking the sufficient amount of time to get to know you before becoming physical. I’m referring to a man that doesn’t have to rely on flowers, fancy dinners, forehead kisses, or any other typical romantic gesture to win your heart. He’s in it for the long haul and his actions demonstrate that.
And that’s the only type of man that should excite you. All the other stuff is just way too easy, and too typical to deserve your heart. Leave the premature excitement to the rookies, you deserve real love, and it all begins with a solid foundation. Are you ready to build something real or would you prefer an illusion?
This article is so true. So many times I have gotten too excited about a man, only to find out he wasn't who I thought he was. I think it's really easy to fall for the romance, but women have to remember what's really important at the end of the day.
I wish I would have read this a few months ago. lolGreat points made.
This is why dating is so hard! It's like you want to enjoy the simple romantic things, but some men just use those things to run game on women. I understand that you say we should build something, but how do we know if we really are building something, and it's something genuine with a man? And that's for Amanda.
Shayla,I believe that when a man is seriously trying to build something with a woman, he is doing everything possible to get to know her. He may be a little romantic too, but he's spending lots of time TALKING to her, instead of just being physical. There's a level of friendship that will form when a man is thinking about being serious with a woman. My best relationships were with guys who weren't big on romance, but big on friendship and foundation. So if you're being physical more than you are getting to know each other, he isn't serious about being with you.
That's an interesting way to look at things Amanda. I am still trying to learn how this relationship thing is supposed to work, but I do think so many of us skip out on the building part of things. Great article.
@ AmandaIt's interesting that you say that your relationships with the more romantic guys didn't work as well as the ones you had with lesser romantic guys. I actually had a great convo with one of my girls and we were talking about how the ultra sweet guys always turned out to be the biggest a*holes. You would think they would make better boyfriends. This is why I don't get excited so quick anymore.