Gender Switch: When Did Men Become So Feminine?
Am I the only one who has noticed that men just ain’t the same? The changes that have taken place have vastly affected the dating scene, the way men and women interact with one another, and the overall complexity of selecting the appropriate partner. It’s hard enough finding a good man with all the trash intoxicating the relationship front, but when you add on the lack of REAL MEN to the already frustrating dating environment, things just start to look depressing, and more women just end up single. Somewhere down the line, masculinity began to shrivel up and die in some dark corner of romantic possibility, and now, men are the new women. And pursuing these bitches ain’t easy. And no, I’m not exaggerating; I’m just another woman sick of seeing men being chased and pursued like they have the greatest jewel that holds the key to all human life: vaginas. And now these same “men” have the nerve to walk around with “man” bags and manicured nails? Honey, I don’t think so.
It all started (and ended) with the women’s independence movement. Women started leaving their homes, and for the last couple of decades, we have become a vital part of Corporate America. We’re managers, boss ladies, CEOs, and entrepreneurs; and for black women, we’re even out numbering black men in colleges and universities. Turns out the career thing looks damn good on us, and now we’re bringing home the paycheck and taking care of home like no one’s business. We made it look easy, and somewhere down the line, we made men look like…women.
To survive Corporate America, and hold on to independence, we had to get aggressive. We took that same aggressiveness and applied it to our pursuits in love and relationships. No longer do we sit and wait for that fine brother to notice us and start up a conversation; now we approach him and buy him a drink. He liked the go getter attitude, and men realized just how good it feels to be pursued, and how even better it feels to be the prey of a hunter in 6 inch stilettos, designer labels and a coke bottle figure to match.
It was fabulous to play the game and switch roles at first, but who honestly believed that it would have such the impact that it has?
I had a recent conversation with an old girlfriend from high school. Apparently, she had been dating a guy who had some serious vanity (or insecurity) issues. She’s a gorgeous woman by nature, so naturally, he would always tell her how beautiful she was. She would shoot him her gorgeous smile and thank him for the courtesy. But one day, he grew tired of the unreturned compliments. He asked her why she never complimented him the way he compliments her. And then he proceeded to tell her that men need to hear it just as much as women do. Burr?
Oh it doesn’t stop there. They’ve even coined themselves as “metrosexuals.” They get manicures and pedicures, carry bags, complain more than we do, and have a greater addiction to material things than most of our self obsessed girlfriends.
They can’t even cut their own grass, and only sweat during sex, because they feel any form of labor (or work) is beneath them. And like desperate women holding on to the infamous biological clocks, some of us will overlook all of this as long as he makes a six figure salary. Meanwhile, resentment builds when he can’t even do the basic things for you like come change your damn tires when one blows out from that raggedy behind pothole that they city council still hasn’t fixed.
While he was getting his manicure or going on another shopping spree, you managed, only because your daddy taught you how to change your own tire because he peeped game about your sissy for a boyfriend. Turns out, daddy ain’t no fool. He knew that these young dudes have no clue on how to take care of you, so he figured he’d teach you to take care of yourself.
Like women, men have undergone their own evolution. These men ain’t nothing like my daddy, grandfathers, or even my uncles. Smart women want men they can build something with, and who can contribute to the household besides a fat paycheck, yet you’ll find yourself relying more on the Yellow Pages than your own man because he knows little about how to fix things around the house. Women may have changed, and we may exceed in the corporate world, but deep down inside, we want to trade in our superwoman capes for a superman, and some form of protection. Superman was bullet proof, but damn homie, can’t you at least cut the grass?
I got so frustrated with these new vanity and ego driven, too good to get dirty, I’d rather be chased than do the chasing type brothers, that I took a little break from the dating scene all together. I took two whole years to evaluate the evolution, discern what I needed, and most importantly, I allowed the big chase to continue without me. Some sisters say I should have stayed in the game, but chasing after men has never been my thing, nor have men that have better manicured hands than me ever been attractive to me.
Then finally, a man came along that actually pursued me. I could have easily missed him if I had listened to the current society, and went after what I thought I could live without, instead of waiting on what I could not live without. It’s the traditional things that seem so much better now in a world that is on a mission to strip all that reeks tradition.
Call me crazy, but it just bamboozles me that so many young men would rather undress you with their eyes instead of approach you like a man, and start some decent conversation. Some sisters may take the googly eyes as a sign to go after the prey, but hell, I am the prey, and a man better show me some assertiveness before I forsake all others. I’m worth the chase, pursuit, and the upkeep…I’m a treasure, surely not just another dime a dozen. Therefore, you have to get off of your ass to get me, staring me up and down won’t make me get off of mine. So I’ll pass, good sir, and pull your pants up before you walk away.
Now I’m still career driven, and I’m still very much on the path I intended: media domination. But I very much prefer the traditional kind of man that isn’t too into himself to give me what I need, that can cut a little grass, isn’t focused on self and materials, doesn’t need or want a manicure or man bag; and last but by no means least, pursues me like I am the best woman he’s ever laid eyes on. Some women are about the chase, but I’m about being chased. I decided I’d let him catch me, since I’m worth it and much more anyway.
To each its own, but the new man just ain’t my style. One thing’s for certain, change ain’t always good, nor will it always lead to something worth holding on to. And honey, I’m worth holding on to and chasing like his life depends on it. Are you worth being pursued?