Sex Talk: Questions on Penis Size and the Decline of Sex in a Relationship

Your sex and relationship questions answered.

By: Amanda Anderson



My Boyfriend Doesn’t Have a Big Penis, Can We Still Manage to Have a Great Sex Life?
Q. This is really embarrassing and hard to even really talk about, but I have to vent to someone. Okay, let me just say that my boyfriend is an amazing person and I love him dearly, but he isn’t the most endowed man. In fact, he’s barely average when it comes to penis sized. I know relationships aren’t all about sex or penis size, but it is kind of bothering me that he isn’t as big as I would like him to be. I don’t want our relationship to falter because of this, so I was wondering is there anyway that my boyfriend and I can overcome short comings? And can the sex still be good despite any of this and how?
A. Wow. No woman wants this burden, but you have to consider all aspects of this situation before you write your relationship off for doom.
There’s a misconception that sex can only be good if it’s coming from a big penised brother, but that is far from the truth. As much as we as a society rave over big penises, big penises have little to do with how good sex will be. In fact, I have heard many women complain that the more endowed men are the laziest, and are under the impression that their size somehow diminished their need to actually work in the bedroom. So size does not determine how great the sex will be.
A woman’s orgasm can be achieved no matter what a man’s penis size is. He just has to learn your body and learn how to work it. If your boyfriend is willing to do those two things, your relationship will survive his physical short comings. 
What your boyfriend needs is a quick course on the female orgasm. He needs to get hip to some more positions that increase your chances of climaxing and perfect his skills in foreplay. If he does these things, size will no longer be an issue. 
The best positions for a woman to reach climax is from the back, side, and even missionary (easier access to the clitoris). Perfect these, and you guys will be fine.
My Boyfriend And I Haven’t Had Sex For Months, Could It Be Another Woman?
Q. I have been with my significant other for three years. This is my longest relationship, and I really care for him deeply. Although we have made it this far, for the last few months, there has been somewhat of a disconnect between us. We haven’t had sex for four months. We have never been at this point in our relationship, and I am beginning to wonder how we even got here. Could there be someone else?
A. Yes. And I’ll tell you why.
Sex can be a strong indicator of where a relationship is. By closely examining the level of intimacy or lack thereof in a relationship, it’s clear when a relationship is in some serious trouble. If you and your significant other have had a healthy sex life for the majority of the three years you have been together and now all of a sudden you’re not, something is definitely up. And most likely, it involves another woman.
You’ve got to figure out why you haven’t been interested in having sex and why he’s lost the desire as well. Even if there is another woman, something happened that causes a rift in your relationship, and you need to know what it is. Even if you two don’t work out, it’s a teachable moment for your next. So either way, you need to know what went wrong.
But it’s always better to talk to your partner first, and see what’s the cause of the disconnection. Sometimes it’s something as small as sex life that lacks the intensity it used to have, and sometimes bigger situations that can’t really be fixed. Ask him about the possibility of another woman, and take it from there.
If you have any sex or relationship questions, email us. 

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