Men Speak: "Yes, We Look At Porn Regularly. So What?"

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Men Speak: “Yes, We Look At Porn Regularly. So What?”

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Black men share their thoughts on porn and the fascination.

By: Amanda Anderson

I’ve always wondered about men and their attraction to pornography. Like most women, I’m curious to know what kick they could possibly get from watching other people engage in sex, but most importantly, their need for pornography while they themselves were involved in committed relationships. The subject in itself is a perplexing one, but it’s also a conversation that I feel we should have with our partners. If they still feel the need to look at random naked women, are they not satisfied, or is it just something that men just feel they need to do because it’s just part of their DNA and genetic makeup? And most importantly, can a woman ever win the battle against hot video chicks and artificial asses in King Magazine?

Before I share what a few men shared with me regarding their desire for porn and visual stimulation, I think it’s appropriate to highlight a few statistics on the subject:

– 20% of men admit to looking at porn while at the job (Internet Filter Review)

– 70% of young men visit pornography sites at least once a month (Financial Times)

– 47% of Christians say pornography is a major problem in the home (Family Safe Media)

– 72% of men visit pornographic websites, while 28% of women visit these types of sites (Family Safe Media)

– Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old (Family Safe Media)

Just by looking at these numbers, we can see that an addiction to pornography could possibly strain relationships and marriages, as well as become an issue regardless of one’s religious affiliation. The curiosity for porn also begins at a young age, with 11 being the average age that one begins to visit adult based websites.

As I mentioned earlier, I decided to talk to a few men about their use for porn, in hopes to understand all of this a little better. While all of these men are unique in age, character, and personality; some of their opinions were similar in nature.

1. Pornography, at least for them, isn’t an addiction, but a means to sexual arousal and visual stimulation. When not in a relationship, it’s likely that a man desires some eye candy.

” I look at porn because I like to look at black women having sex. I have a fascination with a black woman’s body. It’s really just the way I am wired. I have been attracted to various types of black women since I was younger and always have been fascinated by breasts, face, body and overall bodies of a black woman.

It is visually stimulating to see a woman have sex, especially when they look like they are into their sex partner.”

2. When involved in a committed relationship, a man will use porno as a means to get sexual satisfaction that he is missing in the bedroom.

” I look at porn because I like seeing girls do freaky things. And with the type of porn that I do watch, the girls in it do the things that my girl can’t and will not do.”

Ouch. Of course I asked him if this keeps him from cheating…His response:

” I haven’t cheated, but I don’t think porn has anything to do with that.”

3. How often a man looks at porn depends on his relationship status, sexual outlook, and overall satisfaction with his sex life.

The number of times the man in a relationship with the girlfriend that doesn’t do all he wants in the bedroom looks at porn: “I look at porn about five times a week.”

Seems like a man is more likely to look at porn more if he doesn’t have the sex life he wants with his partner.

4. The need for porn can be altered, and yes, men do have self control. Addiction isn’t as common as you believe.

” I can go weeks without looking at porn. I can get in moods where I got to see some booty or just feel like relieving myself and I want to see some porn to arouse me.”

” Sometimes I just get in the mood to look at porn. But I can go a couple of weeks without looking at anything because it’s not really that big of a deal to me. I think with most of us, it’s a need based type of thing. We do it as much as we think we need to.”

5. Men look at porn because they like to see women getting pleased sexually. Why? Well it’s in a man’s nature to please. They desire to please a woman, and it’s somewhat of validation for them as a man when they do this. In the majority of porno, women are very animated while having sex. This is a huge turn on to any man:

” The best part of porn, even better than a woman’s body, is watching a woman who enjoys sex. Her partner is pleasing her, and she makes it known. A satisfied woman is a real turn on to men. There is no greater feeling to a man than knowing he pleased his woman.”

5. And last but not least, there are some men who don’t take an interest in porn. It doesn’t do much for them, and they’d rather have sex themselves.

” I don’t look at porn. The last time I did look at a video, it was with my ex girlfriend. She was into that kind of stuff. We’d watch it, and then have sex afterwards. But I don’t have an urge or a desire to look at porn by myself. I never needed it to get my mojo. Honestly, I’d just have my girl strip or something like that if I needed to get in the mood.”

Interesting. How do you feel about men and porn?

7 Comments

  1. CelibateCollegeGirl

    September 28, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    I think men just need more visual stimulation than women do. But I do find it interesting that the guy with the gf who doesn't please him looks at porn more than the single guy. It just goes to show you that sometimes a man's feelings about his relationship will determine his need for porn.

  2. Anonymous

    September 28, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    So men like porn because they get aroused by women who enjoy sex? Well they could cut down the need for porn if they focused more on pleasing us! Maybe if they learned how to make us happy sexually, they wouldn't need flick actresses.

  3. Anonymous

    September 28, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    ^Truth.

  4. Shayla

    September 28, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    I understand that it's normal for men to look at porn, but am I the only woman that would get offended if I caught my man doing it? Because to me, it's like a man wouldn't need porn if he was satisfied with his woman. Or am I just being delusional here?

  5. Anonymous

    September 28, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    @ ShaylaNo ma'am. You're not the only one. If a man has to look at porn and he's in a relationship, it's clear he isn't happy.

  6. Mel

    September 29, 2010 at 1:39 am

    I agree with Shayla. I don't see why a satisfied man would need to look at porn.

  7. Anonymous

    December 20, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    Ladies, you don't understand why a satisfied man looks at porn, because you don't understand male sexuality. We men are hardwired to desire variability. To spread our seed to as many women as possible. That is intrinsic to the male drive.Ironically…for some men, Porn is an outlet for satisfying that drive for a variety of sexual partners…without actually cheating in a monogamous relationship.Of course, this certainly does not describe all male porn users, and it does not justify an unhealthy porn addiction that causes the man to prefer masturbating to porn versus sex with his monogamous partner……but if you as a wife or girlfriend have a great relationship with a man and discover he views "normal" porn, you might want to think twice before blowing a gasket.The outlet of porn may be one of means of staying faithful to you.

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