A reader expresses her gripes with being new to natural hair. Her frustrations and fear of something new may push her to go back to the creamy crack.
By: Amanda Anderson-Niles
Dear Amanda,
I have only been natural for a few weeks, and I really feel like I may have made a mistake. I see so many other women who have natural hair and they look fabulous. I feel unattractive, and I am not as comfortable rocking my natural hair as I thought I would be. I am rocking a TWA, and now I feel like I didn’t take enough time to think this through. I fear that I made the ultimate mistake and I am two seconds away from putting a relaxer back on my scalp.
What should I do? Please help!
– Erica J.
First, I want to congratulate you on trying something different before prematurely saying you couldn’t do it first. That in itself makes you a fearless person, even though right now you’re ultimately just having an ongoing battle with fear of something you’ve just haven’t gotten used to yet. Regardless, there are women who say they can’t be natural and haven’t been natural since childhood. At least you are trying something before dismissing it.
Regardless, you’re not happy with the result. And that is simply because you are rocking the infamous TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro), and everyone I know who chose the TWA route to the natural hair journey had cold feet after they too put the scissors down.
Don’t fret, you’re totally normal. In fact, your normalcy should provide you with a little comfort.
I didn’t rock a TWA and instead, I chose to transition for a year and a half. The reason I did it that way is because I had rocked a short cut for a couple of years, and couldn’t stand the thought of having short hair again. I had gotten used to longer tresses and didn’t want to give that up. But I can assure you that transitioning was an absolute pain, and some women avoid it all together by just rocking their TWA’s instead.
But no matter if you choose a TWA or prefer to transition, being natural is just something that it takes a little bit of getting used to. And that is something we must all understand. Most of us haven’t seen our God given textures since we were children, so to see it again after the relaxers and lace fronts is the ultimate culture shock. But it’s important that you don’t give up on something that I can guarantee that you will absolutely love and not regret later.
I just think you need a little TWA inspiration.
I know when we usually discuss the fabulousness that is natural hair, we’re usually talking about the big hair. But TWA’s can be absolutely stunning and just as radiant. And in most cases they are.
I suggest you embrace your texture and experiment with your TWA. You’ll eventually begin to love it, and realize you made the right decision. Use that same fearlessness you used to try something new, and apply it to learning how to become comfortable in your new naturally textured hair wearing skin.
Here is a little inspiration from a few TWA’s we just absolutely adore:
And believe me, there are many more. And who said TWA’s can’t be fabulous? I call their bluff.
Readers, what advice would you give Erica for getting over the TWA blues?
I remember when I first did the big chop and saw my TWA for the first time. It is scary, but eventually you’ll develop the courage to embrace it. Natural hair is either a fad or life changing depending on the person. Once you start to experiment with your texture and learn to love how you look with it, it will change you forever. Don’t go back to the relaxer, be stronger than that. These relaxers are making black women bald and sick.
It’s just new and scary. I love being a natural and my hair grows way faster now since I don’t use a relaxer anymore. Getting past that initial shock is the make or break for most of us. I had a homegirl do the big chop, hated her TWA, and got a relaxer a few days later. Now she regrets it.
These pictures and comments make me want to go natural. Thank you.