By: Amanda Anderson-Niles
Jada Pinkett Smith is very vocal when it comes to sharing her opinions on many different subjects, including her own personal life. The actress and wife to Will Smith just isn’t afraid to speak her mind on any issue and because of that she finds herself in the middle of controversies regarding her own family life quite a bit these days. Jada’s marriage to Will has been rumored to be an open one for several years, and although Jada attempted to shut down the rumors herself, she ended up making what sounded like a confirmation to most.
Jada’s favorite platform to put her opinions out in the open is on her Facebook page, and in her most recent sharing she discussed cheating. Jada thinks people who have cheated and aren’t habitual cheaters should be given a second chance by their partners if they appear to be authentically hurt by their own actions. She writes:
Should I stay with a mate after she or he has cheated on me?
(This is not referring to habitual cheaters. That is a different matter.)
This is a very personal choice, and there is no right or wrong answer. If your partner is remorseful and is willing to work it out, I would suggest trying to look at it from this vantage point. My observation has been that when most people cheat, they are trying to solve a problem. They are usually in some kind of emotional trouble or confusion that they believed the cheating would relieve. What’s interesting is that most of the time the cheating has nothing to do with YOU. Now the question becomes, are you willing to put all ego aside and reach for some deep compassion to try to figure out what the trouble is, and, as partners, try to solve it? Know this, if someone has cheated on you who truly loves you, they have hurt themselves as much as they have hurt you. This makes for a great opportunity to deepen the relationship with thorough honesty, which creates deeper respect with some serious setting of boundaries. This is also when love gets real and true and illuminates what you are made of as a couple and as individuals. Situations like these could be the windows to a deeper commitment OR… to two separate paths on the way to look for new partners. Only the unique nature of your specific relationship can be the telling factor. Is he or she worth it?
J
What do you think about Jada’s views? Do you agree or disagree? Leave your thoughts below.
I disagree. People cheat because they want to. And if you want to cheat on me, that means we don’t need to be together.
Exactly. Jada is trying to make it deeper than it is. If someone isn’t happy in their relationship, they need to tell their partner, work it out or leave…not screw someone else. LOL.
To be honest I don’t know what to think because in a way I do believe once a cheater always a cheater BUT I do believe some not all can change it really depends on the person and the situation I think. I’m totally torn I will definitely be reading comments from my UB family lol.
I strongly disagree. The few times I did stay with someone who cheated, they just kept right on doing it. I’m sure someone might have a different experience, but I don’t tolerate it anymore. Most people will do it again if given the opportunity.
This won’t be a popular answer, but the truth is human beings are not monogamous. To be monogamous, you have to put in a lot of work. This is even truer for men. But if you get with someone who doesn’t want to try to be faithful and work on themselves enough to resist the urges that are natural, you’ll be miserable. I’m married and neither I nor my spouse place ourselves in situations to cheat. That’s ultimately the only way it works.
But habitual cheaters start off as first time cheaters…
THANK YOU.
I stayed with one guy I really loved after he cheated. And in the end, he had a whole relationship on the side I didn’t know anything about. So yes, I disagree with Jada. LOL.
Is this all she does on Facebook?
Anyway, I do think there are some cases where someone can cheat and never do it again but that’s very rare. I personally wouldn’t stay with someone if they cheated. It’s hard to trust them after that.
What a load of crap. If someone loves you, they aren’t going to cheat on you. That simple. Yes, you will have issues in every relationship. But to get up and make a conscious choice to cheat on someone is not love. And it’s not a mistake. People knowingly cheat and shouldn’t get second chances.
People will always do what they want to do. If someone wants to cheat, why be with them?
Bullsh-t. If more people were real about what cheating really means, less people would give second chances. Cheating is not a mistake, it is an intentional and very selfish act. If someone cheats on you, let them go.
This.
To each its own, but taking someone back after they cheated never worked out for me.
I can’t stand cheaters…
Girl stop. If you cheat, you need to stay single.
Most cheaters usually cheat again.
Ok I have a question UB if you have been married for like 10 years and your spouse cheats for the first time do you just give up on the marriage and y’all life together over one time. I can see twice he out the door but one time. I have to be honest I don’t know if I could throw away a marriage after one time. A relationship is one thing because his a-s would be gone but I just wonder if I ever get married could I dismiss a marriage like I would a relationship because of a one time infidelity.
Most married people won’t divorce because their spouse was cheating but in a lot of cases, cheating is the first sign a marriage is just about over. Next thing you know the husband is permanently sleeping on the couch…I have a friend with parents like that. They stayed together despite the husband’s cheating, but they haven’t slept together in years. It’s like they’re only still married on paper. He also ended up fathering a child on the side too…but the wife thinks a divorce would be too dramatic and troublesome for the family so she stayed.
To be honest, most people don’t know what they would do unless they were in the situation. I can’t say because I’m not married now, but I think one time is forgivable. Twice and I’ll be single again.
That’s such a hard question! I just pray I never have to go through that!
Trust is the most important part of a relationship, if you don’t have trust you don’t have anything. Once a cheater always a cheater. No (successful) relationship can survive without trust! Can you ever trust a cheater and liar? The answer is very clear: NO, NO, NO!