When it comes to relationships, there’s often debate in the black community that black women should focus on a man’s potential.
Some folks even suggest that women in general “build a man up” and make him great, and that dating a man who already has his life together isn’t honorable.
Apparently Elle agrees because she posted a meme on her official Facebook page that echoed those sentiments.
And while some agreed, many disagreed and questioned why it would make sense for any woman to make a project out of a grown man:[mfb_pe url=”https://www.facebook.com/ElleVarnerMusic/photos/a.500283636635.267676.25537266635/10153324312411636/?type=3&theater” mbottom=”50″]
What are your thoughts?
If they don’t get this corny bulls-t out of here. It ain’t a woman’s responsibility to build a grown a-s man up. Hell especially when so many black men are out here tearing down black women instead of uplifting us. F-ck this meme.
Well said. And who it building black women up beside black women?
Stupid meme. A man should have self-driven ambition. If he doesn’t, it’s a good chance he will leave the woman who “built him up” to be with the woman who didn’t.
I think this meme was inspired by the flawed logic people have about the Obamas. A lot of people think Michelle picked Barack off the street and molded him into the President. In reality, she met him at the law firm she was working at and he was interning there. So when she met him, he already shown her that he was ambitious, intelligent and driven enough to date. And that’s what women need to do. You shouldn’t waste your time on men who have no drive.
Nope.
So much misogyny in one meme. Sadly, a lot of women will endorse it anyway.
No, women are better off dating our equals. Either a man wants to be successful or he doesn’t. It ain’t my job to make him want to win at life.
It’s nice to see a man shut this down.
Right! That’s so rare lol.
Exactly.
I knew a chick years ago who so called built her man up supported him, helped him find a job,bought him better clothes,encouraged him to go to school. How did he repay her by cheating on her and leaving her for the next chick. Some women need to stop getting confused with so called building these men up when in reality these men are using women as a stepping stone to build themselves up and move on.
Girl this happens all the time. I ain’t looking for a project to take on. I want a grown man.
it’s a huge risk to take it can pay off like like Obama Michele or it can one of the biggest mistakes of your life. I suggest woman give it few months before of that man proving himself worthy of you going extra hard for him. dudes out here are ruthless
I see Elle didn’t learn from the Iman situation. She was his first “famous” girlfriend and he had no problem leaving her for Teyana.
Ridiculous logic.
I agree!!
No, she doesn’t make a good point. Rarely does this ever benefit the woman in the end because men like this don’t respect women who build them up.
We really shouldn’t be out here teaching women to settle and try to change men. Instead, women should be encouraged to meet their equals and form healthy relationships in which both partners encourage each other to be great but have no problem being great independently. That’s the basis of power couples.
Off topic but she has great lips.
This rarely works..It worked for Tia and her husband Cory I think that’s his name..Listen , I believe we should both grow together period . I’m too headstrong to be with a build a boy . I’m a grown , strong , intellectual ,woman , so I will only entertain a man who’s my equal where it counts . However , it works both ways , good men have tried to mold loose or miniscule girls , into strong women but have repeatedly failed in most cases .. I’m a leader , I’m certainly a lot to handle . If I’m more dominant than you, due to your lack of leadership and masculinity , we either have to lace it together or forget it forever. Some women like a weak floor that they can walk on , I prefer a nice ceiling that I can look up to .
Beautifully said!
I disagree… I was with a work in progress for seven years and he drained my completely. The only regret is that my daughter won’t have a traditional family with her father but there’s a man in our life that adores her. A work in progress will bring you nothing but MISERY.