Writer Calls out the Hypocrisy of Slamming Ciara’s Pregnancy
A writer for Ebony Magazine is just not here for the hypocrisy.
To some, Black women are not afforded the luxury of finding a better relationship. Black women are not worthy of magical love stories. Successful love stories for Black women are marked solely by our ability to endure suffering and continue to stand with partners who demean, abuse and cheat on us with grace. Some feel Ciara should have stayed with Future, who despite having at least four children with as many women and being a staple on the blogs for his many flings with various women—none of whom are the mothers of any of his children (just last week US Weekly reported the rapper had slept with retired NBA player Scottie Pippen’s wife)—is not called a hoe.
Women are constantly pushed to find a good man, one who’s a provider and treats them like a queen. Ciara heeded that advice, finding a man who has the financial means to provide everything she wants and needs and a man who eagerly professes his love for her. Still, that is not enough and too much all at once. Ciara can’t win because the game is misogynoir.
When Black women take a chance on men like Future, we’re settling for less. We’re choosing bad boys who will inevitably break our hearts. We’re told we must demand more. Then when we do just that, we’re labeled hoes. Those who pull out the biased “70 percent of Black children are born to single mothers” statistic, disregarding that those children must also be born to single fathers, in any discussion of the state of the Black community, rushed to lambaste Ciara for providing her son with a stable father figure. They’d be much happier to see this Black woman–like the ones they complain are solely responsible for the amount of children raised by single mothers–stay single so they can continue to bolster the narrative that Black women are tainted once we have a failed relationship that produces children.
Love and happiness are not experiences society is prepared to watch Black women have. Ciara was never supposed to find her fairytale. Russell Wilson was never supposed to see value, love, appreciate and exalt a Black woman, one like Ciara who loved herself too much to stay in a relationship that wasn’t giving her what she needed. Black women are supposed to exist only for carnal consumption and discard.
Some believe we should be content with struggle love, eager to prove we’re “ride or die” for men who won’t return the loyalty. And if we dare veer off the course charted for us, refusing to accept that we are unworthy of devotion, affection and indulgence, we’re hoes. Black women have no obligation to live life hoping to prove or disprove theories about our inherent ability to maintain relationships. The truth is that we’ll be vilified whether we’re happily single, unhappily involved or blissfully married. So we might as well live our lives on our own terms, in our own way, just like Ciara.
Two snaps. You can read the article in full, here.