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Writer Calls out the Hypocrisy of Slamming Ciara's Pregnancy

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Writer Calls out the Hypocrisy of Slamming Ciara’s Pregnancy

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A writer for Ebony Magazine is just not here for the hypocrisy.

Lasha writes:

To some, Black women are not afforded the luxury of finding a better relationship. Black women are not worthy of magical love stories. Successful love stories for Black women are marked solely by our ability to endure suffering and continue to stand with partners who demean, abuse and cheat on us with grace. Some feel Ciara should have stayed with Future, who despite having at least four children with as many women and being a staple on the blogs for his many flings with various women—none of whom are the mothers of any of his children (just last week US Weekly reported the rapper had slept with retired NBA player Scottie Pippen’s wife)—is not called a hoe.

Women are constantly pushed to find a good man, one who’s a provider and treats them like a queen. Ciara heeded that advice, finding a man who has the financial means to provide everything she wants and needs and a man who eagerly professes his love for her. Still, that is not enough and too much all at once. Ciara can’t win because the game is misogynoir.

When Black women take a chance on men like Future, we’re settling for less. We’re choosing bad boys who will inevitably break our hearts. We’re told we must demand more. Then when we do just that, we’re labeled hoes. Those who pull out the biased “70 percent of Black children are born to single mothers” statistic, disregarding that those children must also be born to single fathers, in any discussion of the state of the Black community, rushed to lambaste Ciara for providing her son with a stable father figure. They’d be much happier to see this Black woman–like the ones they complain are solely responsible for the amount of children raised by single mothers–stay single so they can continue to bolster the narrative that Black women are tainted once we have a failed relationship that produces children.

Love and happiness are not experiences society is prepared to watch Black women have. Ciara was never supposed to find her fairytale. Russell Wilson was never supposed to see value, love, appreciate and exalt a Black woman, one like Ciara who loved herself too much to stay in a relationship that wasn’t giving her what she needed. Black women are supposed to exist only for carnal consumption and discard.

Some believe we should be content with struggle love, eager to prove we’re “ride or die” for men who won’t return the loyalty. And if we dare veer off the course charted for us, refusing to accept that we are unworthy of devotion, affection and indulgence, we’re hoes. Black women have no obligation to live life hoping to prove or disprove theories about our inherent ability to maintain relationships. The truth is that we’ll be vilified whether we’re happily single, unhappily involved or blissfully married. So we might as well live our lives on our own terms, in our own way, just like Ciara.

 

Two snaps. You can read the article in full, here.

 

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Amanda is a TV junkie with a passion for all things reality television. She's from Decatur, GA.

24 Comments

  1. Lauren

    October 31, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    Flawlessly written. It’s so sad how people are doing Ciara. She just can’t win with some people.

  2. Deja

    October 31, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    Ciara is happy and the bitter ones can’t take it. Let em seethe.

  3. Anonymous

    October 31, 2016 at 1:56 pm

    lmao she read them

  4. Queen

    October 31, 2016 at 1:58 pm

    Well said. I’m just glad Ciara isn’t letting the foolishness bother her.

  5. Tea

    October 31, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    Haters gon hate!! Team Russci!!

  6. Kimberly

    October 31, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    Well said. The hate Ciara gets is insane.

  7. Ms. Jackson

    October 31, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    Only f-ck girls and f-ck boys are pressed about this sh-t.

    • Honey

      October 31, 2016 at 5:35 pm

      Exactly. How can Ciara even be called a how when she’s been with less people than Future has? She’s only had 4 serious relationships that we the public knows of: 50 Cent, Bow Wow, Future and now Russell. She got engaged to two out of the four. That’s what hoes do now?

  8. Treasure8430

    October 31, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    You would think that folks would be happy for Ciara…like wtf did she ever do to Future besides fall in love, wanna be married and have his child???? smh

  9. Jasmine

    October 31, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    Black women are the only women expected to settle. I’m glad more and more of us are starting to notice this and are calling BS on it. Future is trash but he gets a pass because black men are coddled all the time. Their needs come before ours.

  10. Peachy

    October 31, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    The whole situation reminds me of how many people suffer from low self esteem. Ciara did what she was supposed to do. When you realize you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you move on to a healthy one. You don’t have to be single for ten years either. If it wasn’t working, why dwell on it? Future isn’t someone she needed to marry anyway. She understood that and moved on with her life. A lot of women need to do the same and that’s why they are really mad. They wish they could upgrade too. As far as the men who are mad, they are losers. All they are doing is projecting.

    • Bee

      November 1, 2016 at 1:07 pm

      Exactly! This is one thing I can’t stand about women. Women will sit back and make you seem like a fool for not taking back a cheating a-s man and moving on to something better because that’s what they did. It’s like so many women don’t know their worth but swear up and down that they do.

      • Bee

        November 1, 2016 at 5:03 pm

        *Some women. Don’t mean to generalize.

  11. Anonymous

    October 31, 2016 at 4:32 pm

    I’m still trying to understand why Future has female fans. He’s gross and s-xist.

  12. My Fave Ends Careers

    October 31, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    Lmao. Everyone is not going to like Ciara. Some of us just see right through her and see this PR relationship for what it is. Calling her a hoe is a reach tho!

    • Anonymous

      October 31, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      PR relationship? Oh the irony!

    • lele

      November 1, 2016 at 12:58 am

      Thank You

  13. Jonniboi

    October 31, 2016 at 7:08 pm

    Y’all must not be from Atlanta…. everyone from the “A” knows Shes a hoe….50 had to tell her to back off b4 he went public about her harassing him

    • 404

      October 31, 2016 at 7:43 pm

      Umm no. Born and raised in the A and Ciara being a hoe wasn’t a narrative until she dumped Future. And 50 never said she was a hoe. He said she took the breakup hard and she was upset when he started dating other people because she wanted to get back together. He also said he really respects her and she’s still super close to his fam and even went to his grandmother’s funeral. Ciara has only had a few boyfriends compared to other industry people. Let her live.

      • Anonymous

        October 31, 2016 at 7:58 pm

        They lie just as much as that deadbeat Future. They want to ruin this woman’s rep but guess what? Her husband loves her anyway so stay pressed.

    • Anonymous

      October 31, 2016 at 7:46 pm

      Still waiting for you and your ilk to call Future a hoe.

    • Anonymous

      October 31, 2016 at 7:58 pm

      Oh please. Nobody was calling Ciara a hoe until Future. She had serious relationships, not flings. It’s like y’all want to redefine what a hoe is to fit your dislike for this woman. But y’all ain’t start hating her until Russell wanted her. It’s so damn weird to see straight men so pressed about who another man decides to marry. Why do y’all care?

  14. Get Busy

    October 31, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Only inadequate men and brainwashed and clueless women would shame a woman for growing up and marrying someone who actually loves and respects her. Funny how they don’t have these kind of views when it comes to men. Future is actually out here messing with married women and has multiple baby mamas but where are the essays declaring him a hoe? And this is why I don’t take anyone seriously who calls Ciara a hoe. It’s just a bunch of angry feelings. Black women are supposed to be ride or die. When we decide not to, they can’t stand it.

  15. shebish

    November 1, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Woman are brainwashed into thinking they should stay with a man who cheats and who disrespects them. Most times it’s woman who criticize other woman for not staying with a piece of shyt man

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