Apparently Samantha has been getting criticism for not allowing Little Mendeecees to visit his dad in jail.
She posted a photo of Little Mendeecees and defends her choice in the caption:
I never thought there would be a day when I would have to defend me wanting more for my child to others. Why should I have to explain why it is detrimental for my son to see his father incarcerated. We have become so numb to the method of incarceration amongst our own that we think this is healthy. I’m sorry but it is not! Most boys want to be like their fathers and I want my son to be like his dad. Only a better version. I want him to have his best qualities and none of his flaws. So the best thing for me to do is keep him away from correctional facilities as much as possible. Bring him up the best way I know how as a mother.
I don’t think she’s wrong.
I can dig it.
I agree with her and I can’t understand why anyone would have an issue with her decision. Keyword, HER decision. I can see why Mendeecees wouldn’t agree but he should have stayed out the streets in the first place.
People make mistakes. That is life. some of the mistakes land them in places they would rather not be. My father worked in the prison system for most of my life and some of the most ruthless jails too. I can tell you from being around my father while he was at work that there are some people who are not jail bound but made a mistake and it could happen to anyone. Maybe not the same crime but a crime that could land you in jail male or female. Family coming to see them really is a good thing. Especially if they have kids. The bond has to continue to be there. Now as a mother I can understand where she is coming from. It is a double edge sword decision. But also, because Mendeecee has had that open communication with him, I think lil man would be okay to visit his father. On the other hand there are a LOT of women who end up behind bars and believe me they would want their kids to visit them. Just because you end up in jail does not mean that you are a bad person and just because your kid may see you in jail does not mean they will end up in jail or think of you as a bad person either. It will take love and lots of positive communication. Mendeecee is going to be there a while and so he is going to get older and may become resentful of him mom as well. Again, as a mother you do what you think is best for the child and sometimes it doesn’t always end up that way. I think she should re-think it and allow him to visit his dad. He already know he ain’t on vacation in the Bahamas.
I also think she has some lo-key hate as well with Yandy which may also play a part in her decision.
I respect her decision. Just like I respected when Phaedra came to the same conclusion. These men need to think about these things before the commit crimes and end up behind bars.
But remember that men aren’t the only ones committing crimes either. And when the shoe is on the other foot, the same women that says “No my child is not coming down there” are the same women who says; please bring my child to see me when she is locked up for an error she made in her life. I just think that being that it is a bad situation, doesn’t mean the parent on the outside have to add to the painful situation. Sure it’s hard but sometimes, you just have to get over that hurdle.
I feel the same way if it’s a woman or man locked up. My husband isn’t locked up, so I don’t think it’s my place to tell a spouse in that situation what to do or what’s right or wrong. I respect what Sam and Phaedra decided to do in their situations. I wholeheartedly agree with Sam that we in the black community have become so numb to incarceration that we don’t think about the effects normalizing it does to children. But we can agree to disagree.
But she already admitted that she wouldn’t want her son to see her in jail…and she was in jail at one time
That’s correct she did say that but people say a lot of things to justify their reasons for not wanting to do something. Listen, I’m not saying that she is making the wrong decision or that she is a bad person for her decision. I’m just saying that people say a lot and when you live and learn, a lot of people find themselves in situations they had no intensions for their life and now what was said earlier is a mist.
I don’t think Samantha is bitter. She seems to have a very normal life outside of all of this. She’s a dental hygienist I believe and has been taking good care of Little Mendeecees just fine despite all of this. I think she has a good head on her shoulders and I don’t get why people keep dragging her.
Samantha is beautiful.
It’s hard for me to say she’s right or wrong because I’ve never been in her shoes. I can see why people feel strongly one way or the other.
Mendecees moms, sis and someone Sam done got over on been coming for her on IG……about how she’s keeping her son away from everyone after they done helped her for so long…and how she’s been using folks and now wants to act like mom of the yr….I feel like its her right to not wanna take her son up to a prison…I wouldn’t..but she does need to let her son see his fam..even if she needs to be there for the time being to get back comfortable again…and I think she needs to talk to Yandy so they can hash out their issues as long as Yandy doesn’t cross her boundaries
Speaking as somone who made many visits to prisons, It is not a place for children. A child shouldnt have to talk to their parent through a glass, a child shouldnt have to walk through metal detectors and get patted down. I respect everything she said
I completely understand her views on this and not exactly sure why she has to defend herself. That is her child and she can make those decisions. Any other opinion besides the fathers’ is irrelevant and seeing that he’s incarcerated, it is entirely up to her.