Iyanla Vanzant Talks Evelyn Lozada’s Return to BBW + Receiving Criticism for Her Methods
Iyanla Vanzant sat down with “Madame Noire” for an in-depth interview. During the interview, she explained how calling Neffe a “Gutter Snake” is justified based off her behavior:
On Working With Neffeteria and Why She Called Her a “Gutter Snake”
All of the experiences I have with my guests are growth, healing and learning opportunities both for me and the guest. I am the cold water in your face coach. And I don’t accommodate bad behavior in any way. I don’t support the guests in living out their illusions and fantasies in my presence. And the thing about Neffeteria, she is like many women who have lost themselves or their authentic identity in a way of being or an expression or habitual response or series of habitual responses that they feel are necessary to deal with the situations that they’ve lived through. I made a very clear distinction in supporting her and understanding this distinction between Neffeteria and “Neffe.” “Neffe” was a character. Neffeteria was her authentic identity. Moving back and forth between the two, Neffeteria and I got along very well, but me and “Neffe,” we just did not see eye to eye. And again, understand that “Neffe” was a character created to address certain circumstances, situations and to respond to experiences that she really thought was necessary. Those behaviors became habitual. And one of the reasons she reached out to us was because she said her intention was to understand and discover who I am. And she is Neffeteria, but the behavior belongs to “Neffe.”
And when it comes to criticism, Iyanala isn’t worried:
How Iyanla Deals With Negative Responses to Her Work and Messages Online
I don’t have to deal with that. People have a right to their opinions, they have a right to their experiences, they have a right to express it, but why do I have to deal with that? What people think of me is none of my business. Everybody has a right to think what they want to think and say what they want to say. And if I were doing this work to make people like me then I would probably have a reaction or comment, and I don’t [laughs].
She also feels like Evelyn’s return to BBW may have deeper layers to it than people realize:
Her Thoughts on Evelyn’s Decision to Return to Basketball Wives
Evelyn learned some very powerful lessons. What I’m clear about is that the Evelyn that’s on Basketball Wives today is not the Evelyn that was on Basketball Wives many years ago. She’s just not the same person. And her choice of career, I’m sure that she has good reason to feel that was a good move for her. Actually, if she just went on there to share some of the things she’s learned over the years since our work together, I think that would be positive for every woman on the show [laughs]. She lives a different life now. She has a different understanding now. She has a different awareness. And if you recall our show, one of Evelyn’s greatest revelations was the things we talked about and I shared with her she hadn’t learned. She didn’t know. She had upset with her mother, she had upset with her father, she had breakdown around herself. So she learned a lot, not just from me, but what she’s done with her life as a result. So she’s a very different Evelyn.
Don’t be fooled by appearances. The mere fact that she’s there may be to help somebody else.