‘Fix My Life’ Recap: Iyanla Uncovers Pain Behind Hazel-E’s Rant About Dark Skinned Women
Iyanla learns about Hazel-E’s father.
The episode opens in Atlanta. Iyanla opens her door for Mrs. Angela, Hazel-E’s mother. Angela calls Arica someone she can depend on. However, her Hazel-E persona is something she doesn’t like.
Iyanla feels that Arica can’t figure out where she begins and where Hazel-E ends.
She also says that Arica made a mistake in her Twitter rant, calling dark-skinned women “dark butts.”
Iyanla re-reads the tweets for Angela and tells her that this may be her perception. She then probes Angela about their past. Angela had Arica at 17, and her father made her get married to Arica’s father.
Arica’s father died in a motorcycle accident. Angela says her father had a “live fast, die young” mentality. Iyanla feels that Arica’s Hazel-E persona may be inspired by her father.
Then she had Angela read some of Hazel-E’s song lyrics out loud. Angela calls the lyrics degrading.
Iyanla and Hazel-E talk about her rant.
Next, Hazel-E meets with Iyanla. Hazel-E expressed regret in her comments and feels she was wrong. She claims she got caught up in responding back to critics on social media over her behavior on LHHH.
Iyanla asked her if she behaved badly to get what she wanted. Hazel says no, and Iyanla doesn’t agree.
Later on, Iyanla probes into her childhood, and Arica revealed that one of her mom’s boyfriends physically abused her and Angela. She also revealed she was violated by a woman at age 5. Apparently, the woman allowed two older, dark-skinned girls to force themselves on her. Angela advised her not to talk about this trauma. Apparently, Angela also experienced abuse of her own but didn’t want that to be revealed publicly.
To me, she’s very conservative in her thinking, and she didn’t want anyone to know she was being abused.”
Arica then said she was forced to stay in line about this, because her mom had an image she wanted to uphold.
“I had to fall in line. My mom likes to maintain an image.” – Arica
Next, Iyanla takes Hazel-E to her legacy room. Iyanla wants her to rebuild her foundation, separate from the tirade she had on social media. Arica gets introduced to photos of great Black Women in history.
“When we talk about foundation, this is what you stand on: these black women, of all shades and hues,” Iyanla explains.
“Do you know what those women had to do so that you could even be on television? – Iyanla
She then has Arica read Hazel-E’s lyrics to these images.
“It does sound like I would do anything for a buck.” – Hazel-E
Iyanla gets in deeper, she learns much of her pain comes from her mom’s abusive relationship.
Hazel-E breaks down crying and Iyanla consoles her.
Iyanla confronts Angela for not confronting Arica’s pain from abuse.
The next day, Iyanla meets with Arica and Angela together. Iyanla is furious with Angela’s past behavior in not acknowledging Arica’s past pain.
Iyanla wants her to acknowledge the results in Arica and Hazel-E for not facing her pain sooner.
It’s day two and Iyanla sits down with Angela first. Iyanla’s goal is to get Angela to acknowledge Arica’s past pain dealing with violence.
Angela says she still doesn’t remember what happened. But, Iyanla still drills in on the fact that her outburst on Twitter came from holding in that past pain.
“Have you apologized for exposing her to the violence she experienced?” – Iyanla
“No,” says Angela.
Lastly, Iyanla wants Angela to stop trying to explain herself and dismiss Arica’s feelings.
Next, she gets Arica to come in and have Angela listen to her without talking.
During the conversation, Iyanla gets Angela to finally pay attention to Arica’s pain. Arica also begins to understand that the source of her disdain she expressed on Twitter came from her past assaults.
Lastly, Iyanla gets Angela to apologize to Arica for making her feel like she was a mistake. She also apologized for exposing Arica to the violence she suffered.
Sister-Friends come in and explain their prospectives as dark-skinned and light-skinned women to educate Hazel-E.
Finally, Iyanla invited Arica’s peers in entertainment to talk about their experiences with colorism, so Angela and Arica could understand the gravity behind the harsh words Hazel-E posted on social media.
First, Angela talks to “Sister Circle” host Rashan Ali. She explains her experience as a dark-skin woman and Arica explains she had to fight others as she was picked on for being light-skinned.
Iyanla says that Angela and Arica had similar experiences.
Next, actress Chrystale Wilson (“The Players Club”) speaks about her experience in Hollywood to singer and actress Estelle. She tells Estelle that she felt bad that her dark-skinned friends were openly declined entrance to a party because of their skin color.
“It wasn’t direct to me, it hurt me.” – Estelle
But Estelle explains that it’s okay and not to feel bad about it.
Lastly, “Being Mary Jane” star Raven Goodwin sits with Hazel-E. She tells Hazel, “You took it back to the paper bag test. It was tacky and it was hurtful to a lot of women.”
Iyanla has Hazel tell Raven, “You hurt me.”
Hazel says she doesn’t like that dark skinned women have told her she can never understand their struggles.
“I wasn’t in the field picking cotton. I had privileges… that you wouldn’t understand because I am not dark skin. You’re light, bright and d*** near white.” – Hazel-E
Iyanla interjected and said, “You in the big house, you just got r**ed faster.”
Lastly, Iyanla drills in that her inability to be healed, opened up the opportunity for her to respond so negatively to her social media criticisms.
Hazel-E and Arica AKA Hazel-E hug it out, apologizing to one another.
At the end, Iyanla seems to get Hazel-E to understand she has a responsibility not to respond the way she did, saying things she did on social media.
After the show, Arica began to learn about the black women in entertainment that came before her and she still remains in contact with her sister-friends.
What are your thoughts on the episode?