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Urban Belle Magazine

Love

Say What You Mean and You Could Save Your Relationship

If you are having a troubled relationship, strong communication could help your relationship get on track.

By: Amanda Anderson

Relationships are tough but they are pretty much impossible without communication.

Let’s face it. We are living in a time when most people are naturally selfish. We’re impatient and we move way too fast because we are living in a world where we virtually have to wait for nothing.

In a world that revolves around text messages, tweets, emails, and facebook statuses…can we really be surprised that most people feel as if the world revolves around them? How many hours out of the day do we put ourselves on public display? Yes, we are all self-centered and the social networks have proven that.

Relationships are no different. People do not take the time to work on their relationships, let alone take the time to get to know their partner. So when the thrill is gone, we can finally see a person clearly. And that can be a deal breaker. But if we honestly worked on our communication with our significant others, we could actually learn to have healthy relationships.

Naturally, sometimes we as women like to play the guessing came when it comes to men. We know why we are not happy in the relationship, but instead of just making that clear to our significant others, we would rather they figure it out for themselves. That barely works out the way we want it to. Why? It’s simple. Men are generally the “Say what you mean, mean what you say” type of creatures. They are not good in figuring out just how they screwed up. Believe it or not, they would rather we just tell them the problems we are having.

When we communicate to our partners the disrepcrencies of our relationships, it creates the possibility for a resolution. And sometimes it makes men comfortable enough to get something off their chest too when they realize that communication is open. I know it sucks, but sometimes women have to make the first moves. We sometimes have to the nudge our relationships into the right direction. A great communicator is the gatekeeper of a healthy relationship.

Now I’m not saying that all men are mature enough to communicate with. There are some men that just can’t handle the building part of the relationship. And no matter how much you love them, it is tough to build something by yourself. And when you involve yourself with someone who can’t communicate, you will be in a relationship you will have to build by yourself.

I dated a guy that managed to turn every problem we had into a pity session. He would rather feel sorry for himself than handle his problems. Instead of me being his partner, he viewed me as someone who was always trying to tear him down. All I wanted to do was communicate and handle the issues of our relationship. He stayed defensive, and I grew tired. His listening problem created my talking problem (I stopped communicating). It caused destruction in our relationship.

If you don’t have communication, you will have a real battle on your hands. There is nothing worse than going to war with someone that used to be on your team.

You will never have the perfect relationship, but you can have perfect communication. And if you have perfect communication, you will be able to make it through all the troubles that your relationship will inevitably face.

So the next time there is an issue in your relationship, do not make your partner figure out what is hurting you. Say what you mean, and if you have a partner that believes in building, he will be able to hear you loud and clear.

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