Your “why me” attitude could be keeping you from real love.
By: Amanda Anderson
There is no doubt in my mind that we all desire to be loved in a way that will rock us to our very core, change our entire lives, and make us believe that there is no greater purpose. Like complete idiots, we’ll spend most of our lives trying to get a little closer to it; even though most of us will end up screwed, with nothing to show but many years of wasted time and a long list of men we hope we’ll never cross paths with again. We will avoid these bastards like the plague and tell our girlfriends we’ve moved on over a round of cocktails, but how could we really be past it if we won’t really let the bulls-it go?
This whole love thing ain’t what we thought it was, and it’s more like a cancer that has managed to spread throughout the body, than a lifetime of romance that we were promised in those lying ass fairy tales. To heal, we need a real dose of bed rest just to get enough strength to get up, snatch out the IVs like there’s an S on our chest and try this again with another fool next year.
And when it doesn’t work again, we’ll swear all men are dogs, unworthy of our love and devoted affection. Although we’re smart enough to get college degrees and start our own Fortune 500 companies, we haven’t managed to be smart enough to realize that heartbreak is another dose of the growing pains we all have to endure.
With the keyword being growing, growth won’t come with numerous relationships with perfect men. Growth comes from going through the low points in life in which it hurts so bad that you have no one to call on but God Himself. You’ll hate yourself for loving him, and hate him for putting you through the madness. There’s nothing worst than a relationship that causes you to look in the mirror and not even recognize yourself.
But oh doesn’t it feel good to overcome that kind of pain? A real woman will come out shining and take the heartbreak as a scar from a battle she’s clearly won. Sure, that dude was a jerk and couldn’t keep it in his pants, but she was strong enough to face the pain of temporary loneliness than deal with a guy who never respected her or the relationship in the first place.
I smell a victory.
Get enough of these victories and you’ll appreciate every single battle you’ve ever fought.
You know what a dog is, and so when a good man shows up, you’ll know him when you see him. And to think, you would have never been able to the distinguish between the two if you didn’t take each disappointment as a lesson and not some unforeseen punishment that you can’t recall deserving.
In this crazy world of selfish people, how could you recognize a good thing without having a bad thing at least one or two times?
I’ve always been told that love never seems to find bitter, hateful, and resentful people. In these people you won’t find open hearts, but hearts closed due to years of pain and disappointment after disappointment. If you really want love, you’ve got to have an open heart. And the quickest way to an open heart, is have a heart that is free from the pain and lacking any burden from the sting of heartbreak.
It’s your choice, will you see your heartbreaks as a sign to throw in the towel or as valuable lessons in love that could lead you to a lifetime of happiness?
Choose accordingly, but no one’s responsible for your happiness but you.
