Q. Okay my boyfriend is really great and I know how rare that it is to find these days. But the sex is very subpar. It’s isn’t bad, but it isn’t good either. For the benefit of his ego and our relationship, I continuously fake orgasms. I know it’s lame, but I don’t want him to think he isn’t pleasing me, even if he isn’t. Am I wrong to fake orgasms with my boyfriend? And what should I do to resolve the matter without hurting any feelings?
A. This is a common situation amongst women, and I’m here to notify you that you are hurting yourself more than you realize. You may think you’re keeping your relationship together, but at what cost? Your own pleasure? Sex was meant to be enjoyable for all parties involved, not just the fellas. And for this reason, I can’t really understand why women are still going around faking orgasms. It’s absurd and pointless in the grand scheme of things. You are only preventing your own sexual fulfillment by pretending you’re satisfied. It’s not a smart move.
With all that being said, yes, in a nutshell, you are wrong for the dishonesty, and wrong to make a sacrifice on something that was meant to satisfy two people. The difference between good sex and bad sex is just a little dose of honesty. When we open up and tell our partners what we need, we’re most likely to get it.
And since that’s how men operate best, you should tell your boyfriend what you need. Now he will be a little confused since you’ve been hooping and hollering like he’s the best you’ve ever had, but it will be the best option in the long run. I’m sure he won’t be too happy that you’ve been faking orgasms, but it’s better to come clean and improve your sex life with your partner.
Be open, be mature, and have that conversation you’ve been needing to have. He deserves an honest partner, and you deserve a partner who can please you. But he can’t do that if you don’t tell him what you need and how he can give it to you.
Q. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks, and we have had some pretty amazing dates. I truly enjoy this man’s company, and I feel like this can potentially become something serious. By our third date, I was anxious to kiss him, and couldn’t resist him when drew in closer to me. It was absolutely horrible! It was wet, messy, and quite disturbing. I thought maybe it was the first kiss jitters, but he kissed me like that again on the following date! When this man gets done slobbing me down, I have a face full of spit. It’s as if this man is trying to chew my face off. It is absolutely disgusting and I don’t know how to deal with this. How should I handle a bad kisser? Is this a deal breaker or can we get past this?
A. I’ll admit I chuckled a little after reading this question, but it’s not because I find the situation humorous, it’s because men on average prefer this messy style of kissing. Studies have even been done on the difference between the types of kisses men and women prefer. So don’t be so quick to think he’s a weirdo, he’s just your average guy who biologically prefers the messier kissing style. Unfortunately for him, he hasn’t met a woman bold enough to tell him that slobbing just isn’t all that sexy. But you could be that woman if you feel this could be something more.
Now this could damage his ego a little, but it’s worth a shot if there’s a real connection between the two of you. I take kissing seriously, and I don’t mind showing a man the right way to kiss me. If he’s into you, he won’t mind learning what makes you happy. Give honesty a shot, and you could potentially turn this into something long term.
