Meaningless sex is all fun when you’re in your 20s and single, but what happens when you’re 35 and that’s all you have?
By: Amanda Anderson
* Per request, all names used are facetious in order to respect the privacy of our interviewees.
* Per request, all names used are facetious in order to respect the privacy of our interviewees.
Women are not what we used to be. No longer do we feel the need to be sexually conservative and slaves to the sexual limitations originally set by a more traditional masculine dominated society; we are taking charge in love, sex, and the ever going battle between the opposite sex. We’re not ashamed to love em’ and leave em’, and still demand real love at the end of our fun filled days. Some of us settle for good old fashioned commitment free sex, and in between the ones that don’t matter, we’ll continuously search for the one that will. While we may have gotten the man’s game down to a science, we can still conclude that women aren’t necessarily winning as often as the men do, and while they will still marry with plenty of options despite their old college days of whoredom, women who play the game could easily find themselves alone and oversexed by the time they reach their mid 30s. Men may want to conveniently reap the benefits of the modern day woman, but rarely do they want to marry her, and make her a mother or life partner.
So for the woman who played the game and finds herself loveless and 35, she has to question if she should have ever played the game. Booty calls are fun when love isn’t necessarily an option, but what if the time is ticking, and you’re still just a booty call in your 30s?
Meet the 35 Year Old Booty Call.
She’s a gorgeous woman. Perfectly manicured, designer rags, and flawless face; but she can only recall encountering two men that ever meant anything more to her than just good sex with no strings attached. She’s college educated, has a high paying career, but besides her stunning looks, undeniable charm, and hefty bank account; men only want to have fun. Needless to say, she’s the perfect woman for a good time, but the wrong woman for wife and kids.
Vanessa Waters never imagined she’d be the 35 year old woman who’s phone only rings for hot sweaty sex, but rarely for a third date.
“It’s crazy actually. 10 years ago, I swore I had all the time in the world. I kept meeting guys who were attractive and who had great careers, but they could never get serious with me. After a while, I figured I would just stop stressing over the fact that I had no love in my life, and get my physical needs met in the meantime. Some of my friends told me that this probably wasn’t the best route to love, but I think loneliness is one of my greatest weaknesses. And for a long time, I had rather be a booty call, than have an empty bed at night. Now I’m 35, and can’t even recall my last decent relationship.
I know it’s not over for me, but I do wish I had done things differently. I thought I was fabulous because I didn’t wear my heart on my sleeve like most women, but I wish there was someone in my life that made me feel like a woman, not just some quick and easy booty call. So many women think they have the upper hand in this, but if they don’t watch it, they’ll wake up and still be the late night chick in their 30s and soon, their 40s.”
So why is Vanessa unable to make the transition from fun to serious when it comes to men?
James Atkinson thinks booty calls hurt a woman’s chances in the long run.
“I don’t think women understand that men size up women by two things: her reputation and the way she carries herself. If we can’t find out a woman’s reputation, or if we can’t dig up any dirt on her, we’re just going to pay attention to what she does. We’ll see how quickly we can get sex, if we can get away with calling her after hours for sex, and just what we can really get away with. If a woman is on the easy side, no we’re not going to feel the need to take her out or be exclusive with her. It’s not always fair, but men won’t knowingly settle down with women who are on the loose side. No one wants to wife the booty call.
Being a booty call is a choice, and a woman has to shed that role if she wants something serious with any man. Now I do know some women with the worst pasts slide through the cracks, but that’s only because they decided to stop acting like a booty call, and we couldn’t really find any dirt to counter the fact that she wasn’t relationship material. If she’s acting like she respects herself and we can’t find any dirt to counter that, we’ll treat her like she’s never been someone’s booty call. Men will always treat women based off how they treat themselves. If you’re still a booty call in your 30s, it’s time to stop taking those late night calls. All that man’s going to do is get what he wants from you, and wife the chick that told him not to call her so late. We do it all the time.”
Vanessa still has hope to find real love despite her overuse and dependency of booty calls. Only she can remove the label, and become the kind of woman who is worthy of a serious relationship and a man’s absolute best. It may be lonely to sleep in a bed by yourself while you wait on the real thing, but just maybe a crowded bed can lead to an empty bed in the long run. If you want love, perhaps it’s time to become better than someone’s option, and late night booty call.
I commend this woman for being real, but I know it has to be tough to only be thought of for sex when you have so much going for yourself. But the man in the article is right, she's going to have to get up the booty calls if she wants a decent guy. Being too easy throws off guys, and pushes them away from commitment.
Yeah she's getting a little too old to still be settling for booty calls. Yeah I know it's hard out here, but I don't think it's that hard.
Well trust ladies… it's just as hard for men to get a meaningful relationship too. That's why it's so easy to just have booty calls when so many women play games just as well as men.
@ Anon 11:03Just as hard for men? Nah, out of all my male friends, NONE of them are single, except ONE. And even he has plenty of options. It may take some time to find a decent woman in a society of confusion, but please believe that when men decide they want to settle down, they will have more women to choose from than we will have to even take us out on a serious date. Don't be fooled, men are not struggling nearly as much as women. But hey, if that's what women need to believe to feel better, go ahead and believe that. But when a man is ready to settle down, 9 times out of 10 there are several women around willing.That bootycall mess is for the birds.
35 and still playing yourself? SMH. Glad she realizes she can do better though.