Epic Fail of the Week: Keri Hilson Reaches Her ‘Breaking Point’ and Sells Her Soul to Sell

Keri Hilson used to be one of my favorite up and coming singers. She’s another feisty chick who usually pens tracks that stand up for women, speak for us, and in some rhythmic way…empower us while simultaneously forcing us to bob our heads to a dope beat and demanding that these nasty men keep their hands off our asses, and recognize a real woman. But these days, I can’t even recognize Keri. Her first album revealed a strong and sultry Keri that we rallied behind immediately, and we planned to support her a second time with the release of her second album. But because the music industry isn’t necessarily a place for a classy woman who respects herself and her coochie enough to not reveal it several times in an awfully planned music video that featured more coochie shots than impressive dance moves; she has morphed into some oversexed, cocky, airheadish, coochie vibrating desperation; and I must admit, the naivete in me didn’t see it coming. But as always, it’s rare than any artist can admit a bad business move, so instead, Keri has taken the most popular route to irrelevance…and blamed her fail of a soft porn flick as a orchestrated attack by the evil media. And now, she claims the lyrics were really meant to empower women. Oh yes, anytime women get dressed up in dominatrix type leather costumes, dry hump, and scream f_ck me, it’s so empowering. Silly me, I thought never resorting to whoredom and raunchy images signaled power…but this? This resembles the typical submission that female artists continue to subject themselves to just to make a few millions. Smart move Keri. It’s always the delusional ones that think they have power while allowing some group of men to control their lives.

She may attempt to make raunchy and immature sounding lyrics deeper than they are, but clearly, most of us are too smart to fall for horribly executed PR stunts that leave R&B singers discarded like trash, and regarded as predictable sex kittens too boring otherwise to sell records. I know you changed your look up Keri, but did you have to change up the level of class you had too? I mean seriously, regardless of what the music executives say, Keri was more interesting when she didn’t have to resort to desperate coochie pops. Why? Because then she was different.

But of course, Miss Thing sees it as an unfair attack by prudish people who just don’t understand a woman’s sexuality. In a recent interview, the R&B disappointment said the following:

“You know what? If you put it in context with my album, my album is called No Boys Allowed but really it means no bullsh– allowed,” she explained. “In this album, I was screaming in a room — just like I was screaming in the song — I was screaming in a room with all my girlfriends, yelling all the sh– we really say.”

Hmmm…Keri, didn’t your mother teach you how to be a lady?

Let me explain some things.

Yes, women love sex. Sometimes we don’t want to be caressed, but instead, want to be more physical, and less intimate. That’s normal, and that’s real. But as a woman, no excuse me, a lady, we know that everyone else doesn’t need to see that side. In fact, why on earth does the whole world need to know she’s freaky? What does that prove? That she has a vagina and desires a man from time to time? Who doesn’t? So what was the point again, oh yes, this was the point. To finally make the headlines and give people something to talk about, even if it does make you look stupid.

Ever heard the phrase, a man wants a woman who’s a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed?

Why don’t so many women get this? More so, why doesn’t Keri get this? Oh wait, she does. She just needs to sell records…

The saddest part about all of this is that she won’t even admit that this was just stupid.

“Even though it’s gotten crazy, crazy, crazy bad reviews, it’s also gotten some great reviews from women who respect it and women who did feel empowered by it. So that, to me, overshadowed the ones that didn’t understand it. I feel good.”

Why does Keri speak as if the lyrics were too intelligent for most people to understand?

They were simple really, I mean we all get that you just want to be f-cked. So yeah, can you not act like this “anthem” was too intelligently penned to be a hit, versus you just panicked in the studio, and figured it’s better to sell out than not sell?

And while we are at it, that Pretty Girl Rock song isn’t what everyone else, or Keri is trying to make it out to be. How is it empowering to make an entire song about your uh…looks? And I don’t care that you tried to make a deep music video to disguise a pathetic anthem for substance less pretty girls who haven’t taken a moment to check and see if they’re also pretty on the inside. What is this:

All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl’s a 10
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful.
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful.
My walk my talk the way I dress
It’s not my fault so please don’t trip
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful