The election of President Barack Obama was nothing short of a historic one. As we watched the first black man nab the presidency amidst a hostile political environment fueled by a hateful Republican Party; inauguration was a moving time for the country, regardless of what political side you may stand. But for African Americans, sure a black president was life changing, but a first black couple, that was enchanting. In a society where black love is thought more of as an urban myth, while interracial relationships have been shoved down the throats of black women as our only shot at real love; it was refreshing to see a black man who loves his black woman. And Michelle Obama wasn’t his baby momma, but his wife, and his equal that supported Obama from his broke days as an intern and community organizer. She saw his potential, and ultimately became the backbone of his entire presidential campaign. They were in this together, and the perfect example of what black love could become once we treat our relationship like a life investment, versus a shiny liability that looks good, but will cost us more.
Michelle Obama invested in a black man who became president of the United States, not too shabby for a woman who was probably side eyed from her girlfriends who couldn’t understand why she would date a broke aspiring politician/intern/community organizer.
Black women admire the union, and there aren’t too many of us who didn’t secretly want our own Barack to come rescue us from our love droughts with his high ambitions and impeccable IQ. Oh yes, we wanted our own Barack Obama damn it, so we’re just fine tuning our resumes until he comes.
We’re scooping up masters degrees and PH D’s; killing the corporate world one promotion at a time…all while we prepare for a soul mate with a matching list of life achievements.
There’s just one problem…we, unlike Michelle Obama, ain’t trying to put in the ground work. You see, we want a Barack Obama who’s already successful, paid, and past the broke community organizer phase. And why not? We’re already successful. We could cover the front of Black Enterprise if we wanted…so why would we downgrade for the smart but broke ambitious brother when we could have a Barack?
But if I recall, Michelle was a six figure making attorney when she fell in love with a broke black man who could barely afford to take her out to dinner.
Now they’re hopping on jets for a romantic dinner. But wasn’t he just a smart broke ambitious brother not too long ago?
Here’s why so many sisters won’t ever get a Barack Obama.
1. You equate a lack of money to a lack of ambition/and or potential.
It’s no secret that black women want a partner who can support himself financially. It’s understandable and totally commendable that we as women want a man who has made something out of himself, and is able to provide even though we have our own, that security is priceless when we are selecting partners and future husbands.
But what so many women fail to remember is that no man is born paid (unless he is heir to some incredible fortune). So that means he has to start somewhere. And that somewhere is usually a struggling college/graduate student, a broke ass community organizer or an aspiring world changer who has more ambition than he has fancy cars.
There’s a difference between an ambitious man and a poser who sits on a couch. One makes progress, while one stands still.
If a man isn’t standing still, it wouldn’t be wise to judge his current financial situation. He may be broke now, but he can very well be the President of the United States later.
Yeah you shouldn’t fall in love with a man for his potential, but you damn sure better factor in a man’s potential before you turn him down. Behind every successful man is a Michelle Obama type woman that was with him when he had nothing but some dreams. She’s the one he was calling during his break downs, and she’s strong enough to keep him moving forward. And the Michelle Obama type woman was smart enough to understand that with the right support from her of course, this man could achieve his goals, and ultimately, even the White House.
Never judge a man by his financial situation because that could change. But his level of drive, is the most telling and will continue to be the biggest indicator on what a man can truly become.
2. You have no clue on how to be supportive and you are insensitive to a man’s dreams.
Barack Obama needed a woman that was going to have his back, but I’m sure there were many women before Michelle that thought this man was crazy to turn down a six figure salary to work in the community. Was this negro trippin’?
And we all know that all black women wouldn’t have taken a black man seriously once he revealed his political aspirations.
“You want to be who? The President? Right…”
It’s not that we’re insensitive bitches who have no desire to support our ambitious black men. It’s just that we’re used to a very cold world that makes it harder for black people to build successful presidential campaigns and beat out clueless republican naysayers as head of state.
In essence, we’re scared for our brothers, and we tend to protect them when we should be encouraging them to be fearless.
Michelle Obama has said several times that she was afraid for Barack and not too fond on his desire for presidency, but her love for this man overshadowed her own fear, and shortly she was working the hell out of his campaign for his behalf.
Love your future Barack enough to encourage him even when you’re afraid for him. That encouragement from a woman can make any man do the impossible.
3. You require an impeccable list of accomplishments, but you don’t have your own success to bring to the table.
There is no doubt that success is attractive and a great quality to have in a man, but it’s always strange to find women who feel only their man needs to be the successful one in the relationship. If you’re going to score a Barack Obama, you had better have your own achievements to add to his.
Michelle Obama may be Obama’s biggest cheerleader, but she’s got quite the impeccable resume herself. And that’s one of the reasons Barack was drawn to her. There is no doubt that Barack supported Michelle’s accomplishments.
In general, successful and ambitious people are drawn to other successful and ambitious people. Good looks and charm won’t be enough to land a Barack Obama, but intelligence and a wide range of achievements is wifeable.
4. You view men as competitors versus potential partners.
It’s always amazed me that so many women scream for equality when dealing with workplace politics and a double standard driven society, yet they can’t see men as anything other than competitors. They don’t want to really be equals with their man because they are too busy competing with them and making them inferior. In Michelle and Barack’s relationship, a partnership is evident. With all the negative influences outside their marriage, they are smart enough to stay on each other’s side.
If your relationship is more so a power struggle over control and dominance, don’t expect to get a Barack Obama. He’s not interested in competing with his woman. Instead, he wants a partnership.
Now I didn’t write this list to patronize, but I did feel it was important for me to point out how difficult it is become another first black couple. And I don’t think black women understand that while we were gushing and lusting over Barack Obama, black men all over the world were wishing they had a Michelle. You can’t expect a man to be born great. Give him time to grow and develop like you had to in order to become the amazing woman you are right now.
So if you want a Barack, you’re going to have to question if you yourself are first lady material. And if you are, you have to view the man and the relationship like an investment. Yeah it’s risky, but a woman worth love is a fearless one. And she doesn’t need her man to come pre-packaged because she knows exactly what her good lovin’ is capable of. She breathes, walks, and speaks support and encouragement.
Who said the White House was off limits?
Amazing. So many women need to read this! Sharing with girlfriends.