Toxic Friends: Are Your Girls Really Your Girls or Just Spiteful Bitches?

By: Amanda Anderson 

What woman doesn’t start off with a crew? You know exactly what crew I’m referring to…it’s THE crew. While we pursue our careers, degrees, men, and love; we’ll need some girlfriends to turn to when things get a little suspect, hard ass, and down right depressing. We know we can depend on our girls for late night drinks and laughs about the ridiculous men we’ve encountered, and the many heartbreaks we will face. But as time becomes a victim to life and eventually withers away, it’s as if our friends start to look more like our enemies, and sometimes we just can’t tell the damn difference. And for a sister in a “good man scarce” society where it’s become every woman for herself, somewhere down the line, our girls have just become bitches…and spiteful bitches at that.

It’s amazing how sometimes it’s the people you spend most of your free time with who will hurt you purposely.

You trust these ladies with your relationship, meaning you seek their advice more than you listen to your own conscious, and this can’t be good when this woman isn’t necessarily hoping you find some sort of happiness. In fact, this heifer is always down for a night out at some sweaty club and throwing back shots, but when you just need some good advice and need her to be there for more than late night ass shaking, she’s the most vindictive woman you’ve ever met.

And damn doesn’t it hurt when we realize our girls really aren’t our girls, but bitches who hope we fail in our relationships and end up just as loveless as they are.

When we come to the realization that our friends are more like our competitors, we’re not sure who to blame. The easy route would be to blame it on the gender. Somehow we believe that having a vagina automatically equals trifling ass-ness. 

Not true.

When I hear women say they don’t tolerate other women because they are not trustworthy and despicably catty, it makes me wonder how we can even be upset when our girlfriends become exactly what we expect women to be…bitches.

But it takes a smart woman to see that it isn’t really one’s gender that makes them prone to becoming spiteful, horrible friends, and shady girlfriends; it’s really just a flaw in character…and a flaw in our inability of selecting better friends.

If we’re having a hard time choosing better lovers, how the hell can we expect to choose better friends?

In all actuality, our toxic friends are more dangerous than our toxic boyfriends. These women are the people we seek relationship advice from and have the potential to persuade us on just about anything…no wonder it’s getting harder and harder to land a decent relationship. We’re getting terrible advice from our terrible girlfriends.

If your girlfriends are holding you back instead of pushing you forward, there’s no need to slap a friendship label on that toxic relationship. Let them go, and look for friends who have good character. Usually, it’s the people that believe in treating people how they themselves would like to be treated that make the best friends, and even lovers. 

And the cold truth is some people are only good enough to bullsh-t with. They may be great to call for late night clubbing, getting drinks, and wasting time.. but that most certainly doesn’t classify them as a friend. 

And perhaps maybe we’ve been befriending bitches way too often to realize the difference in time wasters and solid friendships.

It’s never too late to get it right, just raise your standards for anyone that wants to be apart of your life. We may not screw our girlfriends, but they damn sure can screw us.