The Steps To True Forgiveness

There are multiple steps to forgiving those who have hurt you.

By: Taren Vaughan

Forgiving someone who has hurt you is not always an easy thing to do. Matter of fact, it’s down right hard to do, especially when you know in your heart that you were so good to that person. Unfortunately though, being good to a person and treating them with the respect that you would hope they would return to you doesn’t always happen that way. And it leads you to heartbreak, pain and sadness. It can even come to the point where you don’t even want to forgive that person and begin to wish bad things upon them and their life. That is where I must stop you. It’s easy to be bitter, angry and retaliate against a person who has hurt. In forgiveness, you have to do it the more complex way in order to see God work. There are certain things that you must say to God and do as a part of your forgiving process. And the first one starts with how you initially reacted to the situation.

“God, Forgive me for my anger, my bitterness and my bad thoughts about this person”

God knows that we are all human and we are emotional creatures so He knows that when people hurt us, our first reaction is to get upset and full of anger. We begin to think negative thoughts about that person and have the urge to pick up the phone and say some things that we will probably regret before the conversation even ends. The situation is probably already not the best so let’s not try to make it any worse.

“God, I forgive this person for what they have done to me”

This is by far one of the hardest steps to conquer. Bringing yourself to forgiving someone for doing harm to you is much easier said than done. You know the Christian thing to do is to forgive them automatically without even giving it a thought. But as we are believers in God, we still have a tendency sometimes to hold on to what someone has done to us, deeming what they did as an unforgivable act. We have to get past that. Forgive the person for what they have done to you so you can move to the next step.

“God, I give the situation all to you and I will get out of the way of your wrath”

First instinct is always to handle the person yourself. In your mind, you can set them straight all on your own. Wrong approach. As we would like to think that we can check a person better than our Creator, we are sadly mistaken. God can handle someone way better than we ever thought about handling them. He knows what needs to happen in order for the person to see the true error in their ways. Don’t you remember he said vengeance is mine?

“God, I pray that you have mercy on their soul”

Even though some of us act like we are immune to it, none of us, and I mean none of us, are immune to God’s wrath. We are all His children. And when we hurt one another and disrespect one another, He will punish us. The saying you reap what you sow holds more power than you realize. God will not let you get away with doing harm to another person. You will see that again in your life in some form. You may not get it back in the same way that you dealt it, but it will come back around. That’s why it’s important to be mindful of what you do to people.

For those who are struggling with forgiving someone who has done you wrong, I encourage you to say these quotes. But I also encourage you to say them only when you are truly ready to forgive. Once you feel that you are to that point, ask God for each of these things. He will listen to you and you will see a change. I promise you that. God Bless you and believe me, you will get through whatever it is that you are going through.