Fear Factor: Are You Holding Your Guard Up A Little Too Strong?

Have your past dating troubles led you to hold your guard up way too strong?

By: Taren Vaughan

After years of dating, many of us have had the opportunity to come in contact with some rather “interesting” characters along the way; some of which we end up in serious relationships with for months, or even years at a time. Despite the dating woes that many of us have had, there are a number of women out there who are lucky enough to have the chance to be in those types of relationships. And for those who do manage to dodge the losers out there, find themselves in the best partnerships that they have ever experienced. But as those who find their matches, a lot times you have get into a handful of bad relationships before you get to the good stuff. Bad part about that is that they can be some of the worst ones ever, ones that you had no business being in the first place. And these horrible partnerships are a leading cause as to why certain women have a hard time letting their guards down and freely expressing their emotions and feelings like they once did before.

Why do we have a tendency to do that? Put up our guards and become overly protective of our hearts the way that we do?

Honestly, after all the crazy BS that some women go through with men that they are involved with, who can really blame them for putting their guards up? And when you are talking about a female who has repeatedly gotten her heart broken by not one, but a string of different men in her lifetime, it’s especially hard for her to re-develop that sense of trust that she once had before in men, if she ever does.

As we feel for the sister who is struggling with this at this very moment, what about the brother who is next in line to come her way? Thanks to the asshole that came before him, the task of getting to know her and coming close to her heart has become just that much harder to do. But what happens though when it gets to the point where every man that even acts like he is making his way in your direction is harshly rejected without being given a mere ounce of a chance? This is the point in time when holding up your guard can become a problem.

Having your guard up too strong will not only keep the bad men away. But it will push the good ones right out the door along with them.

I think we can all safely say without getting a verbal confirmation from our male counterparts, that men don’t like dealing with women who have excess baggage. Bag ladies are probably number one, or at least come in a close second when it comes to women on their lists to stand clear of when it comes to dating. Nor do they take kindly to the self proclaimed ice queens either. What man is going to waste his time going after a woman who openly admits she has no heart or feelings whatsoever? Men like to chase us now, but they don’t like to make themselves look like complete fools in the process.

As much as we hold on tight to our guards, they can be the very things that keep us from finding true love. And yes, true love does really exist. It’s not something that some random person made up. No, you shouldn’t become naïve and think that no man can do wrong and is incapable of mistreating you. Everybody, man or woman, should protect their hearts to a certain extent. But becoming an ice queen and throwing the towel in on finding your soul mate will get you nowhere fast. And will probably have you living the single life for much longer than you would like to be.

So ease up on that choke hold that you have on your heart. And keep in mind that not every man that steps to you is on a mission to break it.