Eighty percent of Christians have had sex before marriage. But isn’t sex before marriage a sin?
By: A.J. Niles
Pre-maritial sex is a huge issue for Christians to deal with. In many respects, its bigger than the same-sex marriage debate. As clear as the Bible is on this subject, with the combination of people getting married at an older age than in the past, hyper-sexualized images on the internet, movies and television, it’s harder to fight the urge to have sex.
Eighty percent of Christians could not resist the urge and had sex before marriage.
According to the Christian Post,
Of those 80 percent of Christians who said they have had sex before marriage, 64 percent have done so within the last year and 42 percent are in a current sexual relationship, said Relevant writer Tyler Charles, analyzing the study that did not look into religious identification initially.
In addition to the constant images of sex one sees on television, young Christians will also receive pressure from their partner and friends to participate in sex before their marriage. Many men and women will break off entire relationships with their partner if they cannot have sex. “I have broken up with women that wanted to practice celibacy.” Said Darryl Thompson, 25, of Lithonia, Georgia.
“I know as a Christian I should wait before marriage, but I started having sex at 16. It is something that is really difficult to stop and I feel that God knows my heart.”
Sex before marriage is something that more Churches and Christians have to face. It is an issue that can have serious consequences, from unwanted pregnancies to STD’s and broken hearts. Not to mention, pre-maritial sex is a sin and according to the Bible, it can cause you not to receive eternal life in Heaven, if that is what you believe.
So what are your thoughts on this touchy ssubject? Should people wait to have sex until they are married?
Most Christians are hypocrites. Y’all sit here and scream and shout against gay marriage, but you can’t even wait until marriage to have sex! Y’all don’t even value marriage anymore. Y’all get divorced at least 60% of the time, but have the nerve to say that your sin is not as bad as being gay! I love the leader but hate the religion because most of you are evil hypocritical human beings!
I really do agree with your points but you have to understand a lot of people are scared to think for themselves. Even though you’re fed up with the bigotry, you have to remember that a lot of these beliefs are taught and encouraged. It takes time to undo brainwashing.
Hershey, thanks for lumping all Christians into a single group. It really makes you seem like an intelligent person capable of civil discussion. Fact is, most Christians that I have known (and that is plenty) are not like the loud-mouthed dimwits you see on TV. But if you want to believe everything you see on CNN, go ahead. In reality, Christians can be just as tolerant as any other person. The reason why so many Jesus freaks land in bed before marriage? Well, it’s pretty difficult not to! It’s just further proof that there isn’t much difference between most believers and non-believers and that we shouldn’t be drawing lines in the sand and instead learning to understand one another’s point of view better.
I don’t even know how to respond to this. We all want to do the right thing and follow the Bible, but it’s a hard thing to do. We all fall short of the glory of God, so all we can continue to do is work on ourselves. And you have a lot of anger there Hershey. That’s not healthy.
See how you make excuses for heterosexual sinners! I’m sure you won’t make excuses for gay people. You say it was a choice and that they commit the worst sin. Hypocrites!
Homosexuality is an abomination. So yes, it is the worst sin.
I thought worshiping false idols was the “worst” sin?
You’re all wrong. No commandment is greater than the other. In fact, that is why Jesus asks that you keep ALL of them. That’s why people don’t need to wag their fingers at gays. Knowledge is power.
Gia you are really cranking out some wisdom today. Yes!
hey that’s hurtful… not all of us are hypocrites…. i’m saving myself for marriage and i’m 20 years old ….And we are taught not to judge one another so i don’t….i show love for homosexuals..who i’m to tell you you can’t get marriage d… love is love no matter what sex you are attracted too… and that’s a lie a sin is a sin…. you could steal money or murder someone… it will all be the same in the Father’s eyes.. yes some may have more consequences than others.. but it is still a sin…Well the only thing i feel strongly about is abortion… just the taught of that infant makes me cry… i know some women have been in difficult situations but i don’t think i could ever do it.. i would probably put him/her in adoption to a nice family. I wouldn’t be able to raise that child it would be to painful….. it would be a constant reminder to what happened..I mean i wouldn’t judge a women who did it i would just choose not to do it…. any who getting off topic….we are not allowed to judge one another and our job is to show God’s love threw us… Hershey i can understand u been hurt by some christians but don’t put us in a category that we are hypocrites… because not all of us are… we are put in a lot of situations were we have to choose sides and instead of showing love many show hatred…..
No matter how one cuts it, sex before marriage is a sin. It’s a sin that is becoming more accepted in western society every day.
This is something that the Christians must address.
I tried to wait until marriage and failed many times. Yes we should do it, but we are getting married older and later in life. The churches do need to address this issue and start talking about how we should protect ourselves. Talk about condoms, talk about STDs. Because I’m pretty sure those waiting until marriage who fail and feel guilty are the least likely to practice safe sex. Doing so only reminds them that they are going against their religious beliefs.
You’re right but unfortunately the church will not preach anything that goes against upholding the principles that the Bible teaches. They should, but how do they do it without going against their religion? That is hard to do.
It’s almost as if Pastors have to become completely transparent with this topic. Not only do they have to show people how to practice safe sex, they have to tell people, and bring folks in that have suffered negative consequences due to sex before marriage.
We also have to make it cool to be married and wait till marriage to have sex.
Ok let’s be real here! How many “Christian” black men are willing to wait until marriage to have sex?! Y’all know good and well that y’all have no intentions on staying with a female who is not putting out! And because of that the number will continue to be high!
Well actually my fiance is waiting on me. We’ve dated 3 years, and been engaged for a few months. And we will wait until marriage. Don’t let society trick you into thinking you can’t live a Godly life. Men only do what we allow.
I completely agree
I’m a Christian black man and I’m waiting until marriage. I’m 19 going on 20 in a few months.Now is it easy? Heavens no! I had to turn away some great woman because they were interested in having sex with me. Also I’m Bisexual. So not only am I attracted to woman, I really want to experience sex with men, but i have to completely reject my hopes of ever doing that. So I’ve got it pretty bad, but I just trust that God will eventually reward me for my obedience.
So if no sin is worse than the other, why do we view Homosexuality as such while sweep fornication and other sins under the rug?
There are many reasons why but a lot of it is because many people don’t read the Bible themselves or understand what they are reading most of time. We rely on men to tell us what God said. Lastly, everyone needs someone to point at to make themselves seem more holy. We’re using God to boost our own egos. We just gotta be more like Jesus and lead by example.
If you are a Christian, then No, you should not be having sex before marriage. It’s in God’s word, which is our guide for life. And as for the Mr. Darryl Thompson who said God knows his heart. Yes, God knows everybody’s heart because he’s our creator, but you don’t get a pass because you want to have sex. Its called disobedience. Either you choose to follow Christ or you don’t. A mighty man of God will be willingly to wait until his wedding night because he honors God and his wife to be. Yes a lot of Christians struggle with pre marital sex, but its a matter of choosing to seek God to strengthen you in those areas just like any other sin. The choice is yours…
I\’m on the other side of this argument. I\’m not even seeing these stats as a negative thing, because pre-marital sex is NOT a sin. The GREEK definition of \”fornication\” meant \”an illicit (illegal) sex act\” oh like duh RAPE or MOLESTATION, not just the simple act of 2 consenting people having sex. In LATIN \”fornix\” meaning an archway or more directly \”fornicatio\” meaning \”in an archway\” was referring to PROSTITUTION or BROTHELS. God didn\’t want us to live in FEAR of our sexual desires, because there\’s nothing WRONG with them. If we are supposed to be OPEN with God, then we should be able to express our sexuality OPENLY and HONESTLY with one another and not label it as a TABOO. Go ahead and have sex if both people honestly want to. Not for social or financial gains, but just for the simple fact of \”I like you, you like me.\” And there\’s NOTHING wrong with that. The only time sex is wrong is when it\’s used in a way other than understanding the other person or yourself.
Yep!!! Tell it!!!
There is a chemical that is released when an individual has an orgasm – it’s called oxytocin and it’s labeled as “the bonding hormone”. Knowing that the Lord has purpose in all He does – if fornication only means illicit sex and we are allowed to indulge in sex as long as there are two consenting parties – then why would the Lord introduce a component that actually is detrimental to humans simply having sex for entertainment value? I believe He created oxytocin so we would bond with our sexual partner in order to help us be monogamous. There is also a belief that a stream of a variety of sexual partners reduces our ability to actually bond because a person becomes too accustomed to the “loss” of their sexual partner and then becomes numb to the desire to bond with one person. We are creatures of habit…if it becomes our habit to have sex and move on – even if the person and sex is great – then this pattern will be difficult to change. Beside all the obvious consequences of premarital sex – I think this is another reason why the Lord would not condone open sex.
Yes, many self-professing Christians are having sex (and smoking, cursing, overestimating, not forgiving, etc.) but that does not change God’s truth. God isn’t wrong and hasn’t changed His mind. People just haven’t really surrendered. I’m waiting. Not just because I love God and want to follow His word but because I love myself and know I’m worth it. Waiting is tough but I’m trusting Him and taking Him at His word. And, trust, their would be a lot more women waiting if they felt a man would honor them enough to marry you before sex.
As for black men not waiting, this is sad. The black community is reaping the crazy consequences of not waiting, not marrying. Our kids are the victims. Praying we all grow into God so we can turn the foolishness around.
The man is right. All sin is a sin. Im a Christian and i do not cast stones. As a Christian who believes in the importance of sex and the reason why we have these laws I have had monagamous relationships with a sexual bond with people who dont have faith and i carry many scars and much heartache and I hate myself for it. I really screwed up.
I’d consider myself a Christian, but I could NOT wait. Everyone around me was doing it, and I was turning into a jealous and bitter person because I also wanted to do it. I am a good person, I don’t curse, I am generous and forgiving, and I’m constantly working on leading a life following the bible EXCEPT for sex before marriage. I will not stop because I don’t feel there is anything wrong with it except that the bible says its a sin. Well, everyone sins so what’s the big deal? Is that like the one golden rule you’re not supposed to break? And besides, I don’t plan on rushing into a marriage at an early age so by no means was I going to wait until I was 25+ to have sex.
Oh and to add to what I said above: If you don’t have sex before marriage, how are you going to know that your sex life will be okay after you get married. You’re going to live with that person THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. You better make sure the sex won’t be bad because that can add a lot of stress to even the perfect relationship.
Hear a lot about sex and very little about love. Not love as the world defines it (sexually) but as God defines love(purity). Abstinence is based in love and respect. Perhaps we need to love an acceptance in Christ before we seek in sexual intimacy.
If you study the Hebrew meaning of the words you think tell you sex is wrong before marriage, you’ll find out it’s not even refering to that.
Study for yourself. Stop listening to things that are passed down. It will set you free
The thing you need to take into account is that many people who call themselves christians aren’t real christians. Also, many christians who are engaged anticipate in coitus. If you narrow it down to evangelical Protestant christians that fornicate the majority don’t and if they do they are probably engaged.