Put the Spark Back Into Your Boring Relationship

Simple ways to bring back the fire in your stale relationship.

By: Amanda Anderson

New relationships always begin with lots of passion and always seem like the perfect love story. We all wish these perfect beginnings would not produce those devastating endings that leave people heartbroken and fearful to ever love again. But in love, all we can hope for is a relationship that can stand a dose of reality. If the world around us isn’t perfect, surely we can’t expect our relationships to be.

As with any relationship, those flames of passion will eventually die out. But the best thing about a fire is they all originate from the tiniest of sparks. We all have the ability to create the spark and ignite the flames that could potentially salvage our faltering and oh so damn boring relationships.

And sometimes it’s the small things that lead us to the bigger picture. The bigger picture could be realizing your relationship is truly worth saving and that passion is truly a renewable relationship resource.

If your relationship has lost the spark that drew you in the first place, here are a few ways to get that old feeling back you’d hope you’d never lose.

The Date Night

Here’s the reality…most men are couch potatoes. Honestly, they would rather stay in and watch a movie or two, and be satisfied with a pretty chilled evening with their woman. They would rather leave the fancy restaurants to the newer couples. He’s comfortable and that has made you pretty miserable.

While you don’t mind the alone time with your honey, you want a good reason to wear that new dress and a reason to step into your favorite pair of stilettos.

All hell breaks lose the moment he doesn’t seem to understand this.

Relax, this is the perfect reason why you two should sit down and agree on establishing at least two date nights every month. It’s healthy for a couple to have at least two nights out the month where they can do “new couple” things. Dates keep the oldest of couples fresh. Talk to your partner and find at least two nights you two can agree on committing to.

Leave the past behind you, and keep it there this time.

In some cases, a relationship will lose its spark when a couple has undergone some major problems. Apologies may have been issued, but someone hasn’t really been able to move past the problem. And there’s nothing that causes more strain in a relationship than grudges.

Let it go if your relationship is worth holding on to.

Become friends first and lovers second.

Sometimes friends make the best lovers. If you take the time to establish a true friendship with your partner, you can truly enjoy spending time with them.

Work on getting to know your partner past the romantic side of things, and you’ll be two steps closer to a better relationship.

Spend more time together doing the things you love.

Sometimes it’s just the simple things that can save a relationship. You could be losing the excitement of your relationship because you have forgotten the little things.

Try cooking meals with your significant other. This is a great way to spend time together and it is also a great way to bond with your partner.

Entertain each other’s passions and interests by doing some of the things your partner really enjoys. In return, your partner should also take interest in the things you are passionate in as well.

It is truly nothing better than being with someone who is not too busy to take interest in the things you care about.

Bring back the romance.

What’s a relationship without a little romance? Trouble.

Every woman needs her man to be a little sweet on her from time to time. We all have our own perspective on what constitutes as real romance, so be sure to let your sweetie know what tickles your fancy. Sometimes men need a little inspiration on how to re-ignite the romance into the relationship. Don’t be afraid to tell them, they can’t read minds.

And ladies, it simply is not fair to expect the romance without whispering some sweet nothings yourself. Men have feelings just like we do, and sometimes even they need to know they are loved.

While you don’t have to run out and get him flowers, a little love note can do the trick and make your man feel appreciated.

Get a little creative and let him know you care too.


  1. These are great tips on how to put the spark back in the relationship without letting minor problems escalate into a drama-filled relationship! Great advice.

  2. My problem is… I caress my hubby, I rub his neck,head,arms and back in a loving way just about all the time. Then there are real massages, pedicures, manicures, and sexual favors men dream about. I even bake for him too!!! I give him all this love and what I get in return is sleepless nights!!!!!!!!! So my question is this… How do I get some affection from him? I have told him how I feel, I even stopped showing him affection for a wile. It has even gotten to where I was balling begging him will you please just hold me?!!!! And he just sits there staring at me!!!! HELP!!!!!

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