Don’t Fool Yourself Honey, It’s Not Him You’re In Love With

Are you in love with him or his potential?

By: Taren Vaughan

To say that you are in love with someone is a serious statement to make. For most people, it holds true meaning behind it (well it’s supposed to anyway) and it shows how much you truly care about that individual. Some of us, especially ladies, are sometimes quick to say that we are in love with a man. We profess to the world that we love him so. But are we really more so in love with their potential instead?

Now having potential is not a bad thing by far. And a man that has some could be well worth your time. With a mature state of mind and some positive influences from other good men, he could morph into being that husband that you have been dreaming about. But don’t hold your breath honey; it’s his potential we are talking about here. Many of us have a tendency to confuse loving a man and loving a man’s potential. The two are totally different. Why do we fall so hard for a guy’s potential?

Hell, it’s probably because the reality is so disappointing to us that we hold on to that perfect vision of our man. We focus on all his positive assets and block out all the negative traits he has. Huge mistake. Those negative traits may be just a little too obvious to overlook and deserve some recognition. That is easier said than done, especially when you feel like your man possesses so much potential. We hope and pray that one day, he will be that wonderful husband and loving father to our children. We want them to reach that potential so bad that we are willing to wait for them to get themselves together. Now no woman should have to sit around, twiddling her thumbs, waiting for a man to come to his senses and finally get his grown man on. Our time is much too precious for that. But there are some sisters out there that swear up and down that their man is worth the wait. Been there, done that and have absolutely no intentions of going down that road ever again.

It’s hard not to fall head over heels for a man’s potential, especially if he appears to be making some positive changes. But even if he is slowly growing into that guy that you dreamed he would be, don’t be so quick to claim that “love status”. Some men are very good at putting on acts and for all you know, he could be gasing you up. Give it some time, but not too much, and see if this man of yours is truly living up to his “Knight In Shining Armor” potential. Until then, save that “love” talk for when he actually behaves in a way that is truly worth loving.


  1. This was a great article. I think most women love a man's potential, instead of loving the man. I have been guilty of it, and now I have no interest in trying to change someone. My life has been less stressful every since I decided to accept men for who they are. I think all women should learn to do the same.

  2. Most women love a man's potential more so than the man himself. And then when that potential doesn't materialize, they want to say all men are dogs. Nope, you just don't know how to pick the right men to date. It's time to take some responsibility and put on your big panties ladies, and pick men who are good enough to date from day one.

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