So Easy Any Man Can Do It? The ‘Formula’ Men Use to Trap Women

A man explains the formula some men use to trap women…are you being played?

By: A.J. Niles

It’s time to keep things very blunt and very honest. Countless men are
only after sex and will devise a formula to get sex from you and treat
you like crap later. This may include the man that is pursuing you
currently. He may seem sincere and genuine, but he may very well just
be playing that “good” guy role to break down your defenses and get you
comfortable enough to get inside the panties. Then he will break you
down mentally and emotionally to the point where you won‘t leave.
To sum it up; he will treat you good now, so he can treat you bad
As part of the formula, he will call you every day, just to say he “is
thinking about you”. He will send you sweet and “sincere” text
messages, BBM’s, Facebook messages or @reply to you on twitter. Some
will buy you gifts, wine and dine you at the finest of restaurants,
take you to concerts, movies, plays, even to the park or the beach and
watch the sunrise/sunset.
And then when he does get inside the panties, he will go above and
beyond the call of duty to please you so that you be memorized by the
You may be thinking right now “Just wait a minute, AJ. My Significant
Other did all of those things and we are doing just fine!” Well that’s
just great. Consider yourself lucky. The guy who was pursuing you
really did want to get to know you and showed you that he is really
into you.
Others may be like, “Damn, he did do that, then we had sex and the sex
is great…” Well, you just fell for that formula that many men enact to
get the goodies and keep you close so he can keep on getting those
goodies. More women have to realize the signs of this Formula and
react accordingly.
Here are some examples of things a man that is using the Formula will do:
1. He will say “I Love You” relatively soon in the “Relationship.”
Typically this is around anywhere from the 1st few weeks through the
1st few months of the “Relationship.”
2. He is very secretive about his online profiles. If you are friends
with him on Facebook and can see everything on his page, suddenly he
takes you off his friends list, becomes invisible to you on Facebook,
or even deactivates his wall. He could also become invisible to you on
the instant messengers and the BBM.
3. He suddenly changes up his routine with you and you begin to see
less and less of him. You go from seeing him every or every other day,
to seeing him once a week…and then to once every other week.
4. He tries to use sex to soothe you when you are mad at him. He will
try to use the sex to keep you mesmerized and calm when you are mad at
him, only to leave you dazed and confused on what to do about him
later because you may be too scared to give up good sex.
5. He will only bring you around his place certain times of the day
and week. If you never even hear from him until he calls you over to
his place or calls you to come over your place, regardless what time
of day/night it is; that is a problem.
6. When you do spend time with him, he doesn’t seem interested in
anything you want to do besides sex.
7. Those random gifts you got while he was “courting” you suddenly
cease to be given to you by him.
8. He begins to forget the little things that matter to you that he
wasn’t forgetting in the beginning. Those fancy dates don’t occur any
more…he’d rather sit in the house and just have sex.
Ladies, you have to learn to read the signs. Use that 6th sense that
you all have been born with. Most importantly, protect the goods and
make him work for you. Don’t cave in so easily if and when you see
some one treating you like a lady and/or showering you with “gifts.”
Require a real commitment before being physical, and you’ll be able to
weed about the bad guys a lot faster. And when you do get that
“amazing” sex from him, you have to learn to keep that separate and
not fall in love with the penis. Once you fall in love with the penis,
you are stuck. Every man knows this.
Some of you may be asking, “How do I even know when this ‘Formula’ is
even in play?” Well some men got so good at this, it’s not even funny.
For instance, some women try to be slick and look through phones and
messages. Well a guy will simply not have any messages saved to his
phone and have all his other women’s numbers saved under names of
guys. If he has roommates, they may cover for him. If you go knocking
on the door of their apartment without calling, you are not getting
in. If they are nice, they will open the door and let you know that he
isn’t there, even with his car in the parking lot.
Speaking of the car, he may use his friend’s car to pick up different
girls or he may only go see you at your place and it may or may not be
during “booty call hours”. If you live in a dorm, it may be between
that 3-4 hour break between your classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
For all those that have fell for the Formula, you have to realize that
it’s about control. He is doing all of these things to maintain
control over you and your vagina. All he cares is being able to get
sex from you when he wants it, and he’ll do enough in the beginning to
keep you willing and able to supply. For all you know he may have 3, 4
or even 20 women and all of them think they are the main one. If you
recognize any of the signs, get out now.
A good thing about this is that not every man is pulling these stunts
to get in your panties and keep you around. In fact, some of us are
really just trying to get to know you. You just have to really learn
how to read the signs and understand that men are smarter than you
think and just protect your heart and most importantly, your goodies.
If you do those things, more than likely you will not get caught up
with that infamous “Formula.”


  1. OMG…I read this and felt absolutely stupid. I feel like I have been played, but what's sadder is that a lot of men take advantage of such good women. I applaud the author for being real, because a lot of us fall for these tricks. Maybe now we can be a lot smarter and avoid giving our hearts to men like these.

  2. After reading this, I'm convinced that women shouldn't be so quick to give it up. There are too many men out here that just want to use us for sex. We have to be smarter.

  3. Yeah Anon, I agree. This is why I don't have sex outside of relationships. I need a commitment before I can even take it there. I'm not knocking anyone else, but for me, sex has to always mean something. Can't mean anything if you don't have anything, ya know?Great read.

  4. In my younger days, I definitely fell for all of those things (even though Social Networks weren't that big then). And I really have to thank the author for being real with us, and warning us to be more exclusive with who we sleep with.Shayla has it right, even though a lot of women won't agree with her. Sex before commitment is dangerous. I regret a lot of things I did when I was younger, and I hope women will read this and decide they no longer want to be mistreated and used.Props to AJ and Shayla for the wisdom.

  5. Wow men can be so shady! I don't miss the single life for anything, it's tough out there. I'm happily married now, but I had to let men know what I was looking for. When they realized I required more, the little boys left quickly. I met my husband a couple years after. And he was willing to put in the work. Have standards and you won't have to deal with losers. They'll just go on and find a naive girl. Make a man work for you and you'll be able to spot the posers.

  6. Damn! Homie dropped some game! hahaNo, but seriously, as a man, this is true. Like I mentioned on the Nicki Minaj/Cookies joint, yall (women) have become too damn easy. Yall be giving up the sex like one/two weeks in. That's too quick. Most of yall say yall want something long term, but yall don't behave like long term chicks.Men love sex, but we don't want our girl to be easy. So if you know you want a real relationship, stop giving up the sex so soon. If we don't feel like putting in the work, we'll bounce. But most of yall don't require the work, which is why I was single for a good minute.I met my girlfriend at a little shindig, and she carried herself like a grown woman. She had class, and told me straight up that she was about a relationship. I knew right then that I wanted to stick around because that's rare to find these days.I'm still with her 3 years later. Men like challenges and that's what we'll choose in the end.Respect your damn self and stop trying to play around like these knuckle headed dudes. And don't let anyone disrespect you neither. we definitely won't stick around with a woman that likes being ran over.Hope this helps someone.

  7. I appreciate the honesty, but I have a question for Mike.Why is it that it's ok for men to sleep around and be whores, but women can't? I would just like to hear from a man why that's ok…thank you

  8. @ LilyI say this with no intentions of disrespect, but that mentality will keep you singe…I promise. Somewhere down the line after the Independence Movement, women started thinking they should behave like men, and they began sleeping around. No matter how you slice it, it's a lose lose situation for a woman. Why? Because…you still will never be a man. Men have penises, and our genitals are placed outside the body. We carry the seed of life, and we're always ready to plant it everywhere. Is it right? I don't know, but it is nature. Since our penis is not internal, we're least likely to develop emotions based off sex. Now women, yall have vaginas, and a man must enter your body to be intimate with you. It's some sacred ish…so you usually catch feelings. You also stand to catch more diseases, and end up in more compromising situations than men. Is it fair? IDK. But it's human nature.All I am saying is that sure, there are lots of men who run around and sleep around without giving a damn. But they will always get a pat on the back, while you will always get the short end of the stick (oh yeah, pun intended). You'll be talked about, used, worn out, wall-less, damaged goods…while we'll be the man. Stop letting us win.The sooner yall understand this, the better off you'll be. Now there will always be women who sleep around, and pose no challenge…but you don't want to be that woman. She's only good for a nut, and you should want to be more than that. But hey, it's up to you. We only treat women how we see em'.So make your choice.

  9. @ MikeI'm not even offended. I really just wanted an honest answer and you gave me that. I appreciate the honesty from you and AJ, and I never thought about the significance of the differences between the vagina and penis. That's a deep way to look at the things, and it has made me really think about some things. Thank you for writing this article, and telling women the truth.

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