The dating world is a cold one. It’s full of vultures in sharp business suits, playboys with baby faces, selfish men who lured us in with flowers and romantic dinners, and smooth talking intellectuals who use their smarts to drop panties, more so than using them for good. So what’s a good black woman to do? It’s not like we’re not being hunted by some of the shabbiest of brothers, but sooner or later, you want to not only be desired, but cared for by someone who wants more than just sex. It’s human to want to be loved, but somehow it seems to take nearly an eternity to spot a true gem out of all the pebbles.
After reflecting on my past bouts of love, I came to one conclusion. Perhaps men are smarter than we give them credit for. Could it be that these clever bastards say all the right things for all the wrong reasons? While I’m quite sure that they do, what can a woman do to survive this manipulative behavior? And most importantly, is it still possible to find a man who’s authentic, and looking for a little more than most?
I sat down with a pretty honest brother, who considered himself a retired playboy and bed hopper in his younger days. And here’s what he shared…
“Ladies need to understand that we will say just about anything we have to in order to get a woman comfortable enough to lower her guard, and slide off her panties. It ain’t right, but it’s just how it is. When we are young or worse, old as hell in that whorish phase of life, it’s all about getting some sex. I tell my close homegirls and female relatives all the time, don’t be so quick to have sex with a dude just because he’s coming off real romantic. He’s just playing a role, so he can eventually play you.
To really see if a man is serious about you, look at his actions. If he says he is going to take you out on a date, and he doesn’t…you’re just something to do. You’re not anything more than a conquest to him.
If he says he is going to call and he barely does, you’re not someone that he takes seriously, 9 times out of 10, he just wants to smash. If a man’s actions don’t match his words, leave that little dude alone. A man was taught since birth that our word is our bond, so we work hard to keep our word with those that matter to us. If he’s not keeping his word with you, you don’t mean anything more than sex.”
So according to this brother, words mean little when it comes to men, but actions mean everything. If a man isn’t doing what he tells you he is going to do more often than not, this may be your cue to keep it moving.