The dating world is a cold one. The statistics reveal that the playing field isn’t necessarily fair as women continuously outnumber men in population, but to make matters worst, women are more likely to date men with loads of emotional issues before meeting a decent man that they won’t regret commiting to. While we all wish we had a radar for fools and drama causing losers, all we can do is know the signs of an undatable man, and run in a different direction when we see him coming.
Here are 12 signs that the guy you’re thinking about just isn’t dating material.
1. He refers to women regularly as bitches and hoes.
This may not seem like a big deal at first, but if you examine this a little closer, you’ll understand why this topped the list of undatable characteristics.
In today’s culture, women are a confused bunch. Some of us refer to ourselves as anything except women, and as a result, some men have adopted Hip Hop’s philosophy. And to these men in particular, we’re nothing but bitches and hoes. It doesn’t help that most of us rather be labeled as bad bitches and 5 star chicks, so we can’t fully blame men from following our lead and minimizing us into four legged creatures only good for screwing and showing off with the pretty leashes they drag us by.
Even though women play a role in the glamorization of demeaning labels, it is up to a man to decide how he ultimately feels about women. And you can tell how any man feels about women by the words that he uses to refer to them. It’s not rocket science, but a simple tool I need to measure a man’s level of maturity and respect for women.
I say this all the time and I’ll say it again:
You can tell a man’s maturity by the way he refers to women.
If he calls women bitches and hoes on a regularly bases, with no remorse…I’m pretty sure there’s some built up hatred towards women. No man that respects women would use these terms shamelessly. The worst guy you could ever date is one that doesn’t respect women. And I guarantee that he won’t treat you very good.
And sorry to be the barer of bad news, but if he has no remorse for women he doesn’t even know, don’t expect him to have any for you. If all women are bitches, you probably are too. This isn’t a brother you want to be in a relationship with.
2. He doesn’t do what he says he’s going to do.
Rather it’s returning your phonecalls, taking you on dates or becoming exclusive; this is the type of man that can’t seem to do what he says he’s going to do. He’s always too busy to call you back, or too swamped at work to take you out to dinner. Yet he’s always available for sex. If you know you can’t hold your breath over any promise he makes to you, I wouldn’t date this man.
I suggest the two month trial. Test him out for two months, and if he keeps less promises than he makes, you’d be better off with someone else.
3. Too many female friends.
This should automatically put up red flags. It’s normal for a man to have a few female homies, but to have an army, is to have a war on your hands. Some men have no problem screwing their female friends without catching any feelings, but unfortunately, that female friend is most likely to want more at your expense. And do you really want to be exclusive with a man who has no problem screwing his friends? Who’s to say he won’t screw them while he’s with you?
It can turn into a messy situation. Date a man who has more guy friends than girl friends. You don’t have time to wonder.
4. Has several children with multiple women.
Okay clearly this is a man who doesn’t believe in wearing condoms. And if he doesn’t wear condoms, he’s most likely to have a few STDs and commitment issues. I’d skip over this one.
5. Mama’s Boy
Who doesn’t love their mama? Most men think highly of their mothers. She is most likely to be the prototype of how every woman should be according to them, and he respects her to the highest degree. This is normal behavior for normal men.
But there are some men out here that who can’t make decisions without their mother, go a day without talking to their mother, or date women WITHOUT THEIR MOTHER. Can you imagine be married to that type of man? If you don’t mind his mother’s nose all in your business, date him. But if you want privacy, don’t date a man who has mama issues. You’ll never escape her and he will never be a man.
6. Horrible with Money
Does he buy Jordans over paying his bills on time? Yes, I’m going there.
Materialistic men are the worst to date. They run through money like slutty groupies run through professional athletes. Black people have the worst repuation for our lack of investing, so if you want to beat the statistics and want more out of life; you’ll need to date a brother who knows how to save his money. This is crucial to your future family and future generations. To break the cycle, you’ll need someone who’s bigger than keeping up with the latest sneakers and nice cars.
Men who blow money make the worst providers and husbands. If you’re looking for marriage, don’t date a man who can’t be trusted with money. It’s hard as hell to stay married to a man who has no common sense when it comes to finances. Trust me when I say that you’ll be struggling your whole lives together financially if you pursue this kind of man.
7. Lacks ambition and drive
If a man has no ambition or drive, he’s stagnant, and he’s not going anywhere. If you don’t mind not going anywhere with him, date him. But there’s no way that you can have enough ambition for two people. Trust me on that.
8. Doesn’t mind a woman taking care of him.
No real man finds comfort in letting someone else take care of him. Sure it’s a recession and times are hard for everybody, but a real man still isn’t going to keep his hands in your wallet. It’s always better to be with someone who can bring something to the table, rather than dating a mooch. If he’s always asking you for money, waiting on you to leave the check after a date, or gushing over your high income; you’ve definitely got a mooch on your manicured hands.
9. He sags his pants.
Run from a grown ass man who still wears baggy pants. He has a whole mountain of issues if he’s still doing this past high school.
10. Overly sensitive and melodramatic.
Oh they are out there. The sensitive guys were so desirable two decades ago when we proclaimed what we needed in a man, but then over the course of time, they just became well…females. They’re moody, emotional, dramatic, and immature. You’ll argue everyday because his feelings have been hurt. Oh, they have periods too.
If he’s more sensitive than you are, pass.
11. Commits crimes to keep up street cred.
Do I really have to expand on this one? I didn’t think so.
12. Always speaks negatively about commitment.
Bad relationships affect us all, but if a man can’t ever find anything positive to say about commitment, chances are he doesn’t believe in, nor is he capable of committing to you. And men like these will surely waste any woman’s time. He may be cool to hang around or provide great conversations, but it will never be any more than that. If you don’t want to waste you time, don’t get involved with a man who despises commitment.
Now some of you may have felt I missed a thing or two, but these are the indicators that I feel every woman should keep in mind while dating. If you see any of these traits in a man you are pursuing, run as if your life depends on it…because it actually does.