The Problem with the Ride or Die Chick

There’s a woman that Hip Hop continues to place on a pedestal in numerous Bonnie and Clyde type anthems, penned by some of Hip Hop’s finest, this woman is the epitome of every street thug’s equal. And over the course of time, this woman has crossed over into mainstream. And now every “man” wants his own version of the Ride or Die Chick. Women are asked to be cool with less than in order to hold on to Ride or Die status; even if that means taking a charge, playing house and having a man’s kids while he dangles marriage in your face occasionally, and putting up with side chicks because he can’t manage to control his sexual urges, although he’s a grown ass man. Somehow this woman is honorable, and shoved down the throats of innocent women who only want love, even if it’s at the hands of a selfish man who doesn’t feel the need to be Ride or Die himself. Funny how this woman is down for the cause, yet he’s less likely to put up with what he requires her to endure himself.

With the recent arrest of rapper Clifford “T.I.” Harris, and new wife Tameka “Tiny” Cottle, we’re obligated to take a closer look into this whole Ride or Die Chick hypocrisy. Is it really worth it to be Ride or Die, when in the end the relationship we’re riding for isn’t even worth the ride in the first place?

But before I explain my stance on an overrated label that is causing women to settle for mediocrity in love, when they should have the best love has to offer; I think it’s only fair to first mention just what exactly a Ride or Chick is supposed to be.

Lyrics from “Ryde or Die Chick” by the Lox:

“Ryde or die chick, hand do a B.I.
Give a ni–a up north some ass on a V.I.
And she blackout when she in the mall
Got the brand new spring Prada sh-t in the fall
Don’t matter what size panties, fitting her small
And she don’t got no problem hittin’ us all…” – Jadakiss

“Gamed her to death, tattooed my name on her neck
You don’t wanna see me bangin’ the left, hittin’ the gas
That bitch out the window poppin’ heat in yo’ ass
You could catch Holiday in a Holiday Inn
With a bad bitch swallowin’ gin, word
And if it got to do with money count Holiday in
With my ryde or die bitch that’ll body your man
You don’t like me as a artist, she gon’ body your fam ” – Styles

“Fu-k ’em in the park, fu-k a sweet as the Ritz
They like that shit, and I ain’t gotta spend no checks
Fu-k diamonds, all they really want is rough ass sex
And they name, shout it out when I’m up at Flex
I get drunk with bitches that don’t get drunk
Don’t get high, have ’em doing drive-by’s
Sh-t they never did, forgetting about they kids
Moms babysitting, ain’t seen her in a week
I’m a bad influence to parents that hate Sheek
I need a ryde or die bitch that’ll take this coke
Out of town, and come back and breakdown when I’m broke, what” – Sheek

And just to be even more clear…here’s how the Urban Dictionary defines the Ride or Die Chick:

1. A chick that ain’t afraid to be down with her man she’ll do anything her man needs her to do.

2. A ‘ride or die chick’ refers to someone who (normally a girl, hence the word chick) is down for everything and anything. Basically down for both the bad and the good.

3. A girl who is down for her man in any situation. a girl who’s not afraid of throwing down side by side with her man, even if she’s the only female. she’s the girl who rides in the passenger seat with tea heat ready on her lap & knows all the targets. a ride or die chick cooks for, cleans for, and entertains her man by any means necessary.

Interesting.

So in theory, a Ride or Die Chick is a female who is supposed to be “down” for anything her man wants. Rather the deed is illegal, unhealthy, or disrespectful; this “woman” is supposed to oblige to anything to keep her man happy. Does anyone else see a problem here?

Where in the description did it mention that a man would make similar sacrifices to keep his Ride or Die Chick just as happy? Because as I look at the definitions and questionable rap lyrics, it seems to me that this is a one sided perspective that leaves a woman looking more like a servant, rather than honorable, happy, or even loved.

And I ask, what’s so honorable about a woman who has agreed to put up with just about anything just to say she has a man?

There’s a huge difference between a Ride or Die chick and a real woman.

A Ride or Die Chick values her relationship and man more than she values herself. Why else would she be willing to settle for committing petty crimes or taking a charge to keep her man out of prison. When Tiny and T.I. were arrested and the media announced it was due to drugs; many grown ass idiots suggested that Tiny take the charge to keep T.I. (a felon) from going back to prison. But here’s a better solution: How about just not dating felons and petty street thugs in the first place?

Now a real woman would never jeopardize her own happiness just to stay in a relationship. She chooses men that not only she can uplift, but ones that can uplift her as well. She wants better in life, and her relationship reflects that. Most importantly, a real woman understands the importance of integrity, and she will never compromise that for anyone, not even her man.

We have got to stop wanting to be Ride or Die CHICKS and start wanting to be real WOMEN.

Let me tell you, I am not a Ride or Die Chick. I won’t stay in relationships that are unhealthy because I feel like loyalty is more important than my own happiness. I won’t do just about anything just to keep some man happy who barely does anything to make me happy. I won’t go to jail to prove my love to someone, especially when I have kids at home who need their Mother at home. Nor will I have kids with a man who feels as if street cred is more important than his children.

And I certainly will not engage in high risk sexual acts just so my man can stick his chest out and brag to his boys, or deal with side pieces who don’t respect me, because they can tell from sham of a relationship that my man doesn’t respect me either. Because if he did, he wouldn’t ask me to be a Ride or Die Chick. He wouldn’t expect me to accept anything he does, or commit crimes and serve jail time for his poor decisions.

Most importantly, a real man knows that to make a woman a wife is the highest honor indeed. To ask of any woman to endure thick and thin without making her your wife is selfish and plain out disgusting. A Ride or Die Chick is one of the lowest labels any woman can have. Aim for more, and don’t let any man persuade you into thinking that’s it’s more than it really is. Bottom bitches and Ride or Die Chicks will never be real women.

I say all of this not to hurt anyone, but because we have got to start wanting more out of life, love, men, and relationships. When you accept little, that is all you will ever have. Choose a man that thinks more of you rather than being some pathetic chick willing to accept anything, and leave the Ride or Dyin’ to those who may never get an inch closer to womanhood.

Besides, you can’t sit on a throne when you’re too busy riding off of a cliff.