Ah, the single life. It’s full of many awkward dates, bad relationships you’d love to forget, with men you’d love to forget, and a dependency on cocktails and encouragement from the girls to endure one simple fact: you’re loveless. When this whole charade began, you were ultra optimistic. You believed in love, so the beginning years of searching for the one wasn’t a job, but more so an adventure you hope would be fruitful. Fruitless and exhausted, your optimism is now fleeting faster than your belief in good men, and it’s most likely the many run-ins with bad men got you to this point of exhaustion. Now while it is perfectly understandable that you are frustrated to the highest degree, your unluckiness in love does not permit you to have a bad attitude. And rather you know it or not, bad attitudes aren’t very sexy, and they are usually the biggest factor in why some women are single, and sadly, will remain that way.
Now it’s not to say that single women are pathetic and deserve pity from women who have found love, but this is a wake up call to single women who don’t want to be single. Your attitude not only plays a significant role in the men you attract, but it also plays a role in the men you detract. That’s right ladies, your negative attitude about men as a whole isn’t so easy to mask, and even eligible bachelors across the room can smell that stank attitude you’re carrying around like a beat up Prada bag. That baggage of yours is a liability, and costing you more than the drama you encountered to get it in the first place.
Now we as women handle pain differently from men. When we get hurt, we get angry; and eventually that anger will turn into bitterness. And bitterness is a real bitch; she’s hard to get rid of and she ruins everything in her path. Your life will never be the same when you allow bitterness to consume your life.
And no matter how you slice it, you will never run into love with a nasty attitude. Why? Well love is the purest of things ever created. God Himself is love, so how on earth would a negative attitude concerning love be rewarded with…love? It has never and never will work that way.
That in itself goes against the law of attraction. Just like we attract like minded people, we also attract like minded attitudes, and like minded issues.
Here’s a few truths you need to swallow before you will ever get your piece of love and ultimately, real happiness.
All Men Are NOT Dogs
There’s this notion that all men are unable to control their sexual urges, and can not be faithful to any woman with millions of vaginas surrounding him on a daily bases.
False. Men do what they want, always remember that. Every human being born with a healthy mind has the ability to resist sexual urges. If a man cheats, it’s because he wants to, not because he couldn’t resist.
Regardless, there are many women who hold this theory to be true, and will often make this tired statement in the middle of conversations regrading men. They are the same girlfriends you would never call for relationship advice because they haven’t ever had a successful relationship. It’s obvious that they have a growing hate for men, and they are faultless, while men are subjected to carry all the blame for why none of their relationships have ever lasted. And sometimes it’s some of the most beautiful women who believe in this notion.
The fact of the matter is, all men are NOT dogs. What usually happens is an unfortunate but very often circumstance, a woman ends up attracting and only dating well…dogs.
If you think all men are trash, that’s all you will ever get. No good man wants to spend even one minute of conversation with a woman who hates men, and thinks the lowest of men. It’s the same reason good women are wasting less and less time with bad men. We want something better, and we don’t want to waste our time with anyone who would rather clump us in one category with a group of people that don’t even represent who we really are, versus getting a chance to know who we really are. Judge a man based off his OWN individual character, not the character of other men YOU attracted and dated because you decided to lower your standards for a quick second.
Grown women know that good men still exist, you just have to be able to pick them out of a whole sea full of trash. Pull up those sleeves and weed em out. But by all means sister, stop being lazy and acting like you’ve explored the whole sea. You haven’t even touched the surface yet.
Stop Wasting Time, Use Your Time Alone to Become Better
You’re single, so the hell what?
Instead of being mad at the world that you haven’t found real love, why don’t you take this moment to seek clarity, better yourself, figure out what you need in a man (the wants are no longer important), and what all you need from a relationship at this point of your life.
Most women are bitter because they don’t see the single life as a blessing, but instead, a curse. It’s really a great moment of solitude, and a chance to finally become the kind of woman that a man could fall in love with.
And just maybe if women saw the single life as a moment to evolve and become better, just maybe, the next time love comes around, they will be able to keep it. Mature in your single hood.
Leave the Bad Men Alone, Seriously
I can’t stress this enough, but bad men are like repellers for good men and healthy relationships. They leave their dirty hand prints all over your life, and it’s hard to erase the damage they cause on your life.
To minimize the destruction, minimize the length of time they serve in your life. When a man shows you that he’s not good for you, believe him! Sometimes it’s as if women need to hear a man admit that he sucks before they believe it for themselves. While actions do speak louder than words, to a woman in love, words are louder. Snap out of it, and run from a man that mistreats you.
Like I said before, no good man would be okay with treating you like trash. When a man shows his ass, show him yours too by walking away.
And contrary to belief, it isn’t harmless to sleep with them, with no strings attached. That’s time you could be being intimate with someone who cares about you. Be smarter, and pass up on the booty calls. You need more in your life.
It’s super easy to allow a series of bad relationships to affect you mentally, and change your entire outlook on love and men. But that’s what little girls do. They allow others who aren’t even worth it to shape their thoughts and perspectives on things; meanwhile, grown women take the losses and make it their mission to turn them into wins. Wins in happiness, love, growth, and faith. Be that woman who isn’t afraid to open herself up to love, and a little pain…because in the end, that’s the ONLY kind of woman worthy of love, and the only kind that will eventually have it.
It starts and ends with your attitude.