The Size War: “Real” Women Are…Big?

I’m sick of the size war.

By: Amanda Anderson

Okay ladies. It’s time for a much needed, and very much worthy, rant on the war that is taking place between skinny women and my bigger sisters. Now I have sat back and been quiet on the subject, but I think it’s time to address this whole topic from top to bottom, 14 to 0, and thick to bony. As always, I say and write everything in love, but I am an advocate of the truth and some much needed ass kicking when necessary. And I think it’s time to kick the ass of every skinny and thick woman who felt the need to attach a body type to “realness.” Sisters, have you lost your minds? I think you have, and I’m actually quite ready to return it back to you, at no cost. Just give me a couple minutes, and I might be able to remind you about what true beauty really is. And it’s not as size obsessed as you are.

Let’s be clear. We as a society place too much emphasis on the physical. Both men and women spend more money on the outside than we should, and at the same time, we spend even less and less time working on the inside. We may be beautiful and well dressed fabulous people on the outside, but on the inside, we’re ugly, hideous insecure people with nothing but fabulous clothes and silly mantras (ie. Real women are big, skinny women are more fun) to hide behind. And while it may sound good to slap a fancy label on your situation and uplift a group of women who have been considered on the lower end of beauty, is it fair to put down the other women who can’t relate to the ideal size you speak of?

Women come in all shapes, sizes, shades, temperaments, backgrounds, and ethnicities. All women aren’t created equal, and neither are our bodies.

Some of us have bigger hips, while some of our have bigger butts. Some of us have gorgeous breasts for days, while some of us would be happy with a B cup because our double D’s are killing our backs. We all lack in some areas, and some of us have plenty in others.

We’re so versatile in beauty, that we have to rotate seasons for what body type is “in.”

It used to be skinny runway chicks, at size zeros, with gorgeous faces. Not it’s all about ghetto booties and full lipped sisters. In a decade or so, we’ll be praising skinny chicks again, and bigger women will begin to question themselves like they did before in the dark age of the runway obsession.

And since fashion and beauty changes with the seasons, maybe we should just learn to love what we already have, and no longer feel the need to hate ourselves when our body types aren’t in style.

If it’s two quotes I hate, it’s these:

“Real women are big.”

“Real women are skinny.”

Says who? All the skinny and big girls? How immature and beneath them.

Here’s the truth, so take it, and engrave it to your soul:

Real women have no specific body type. Some of us are skinny, some are thick, while some are beautiful big girls. We vary in body types, complexions, ethnicities, and even personalities. But there is one thing we all have in common, and that is the apparent fact that we love ourselves just the way we are. So no my confused and insecure dear, real women are not big or skinny. Real women love themselves and the skin they’re in.

And since we love ourselves just the way we are, body type and all, we don’t feel the need to put down other women who don’t have the same body types. I mean, if you’re so fabulous, why on earth do you have to label someone else as unfabulous to feel fabulous?

In the midst of all your temper tantrums against other women of different sizes, you’ve actually downgraded from self confident, to undercover insecure and borderline spiteful bitch. What the hell is beautiful (or real) about that?

I’m ending my rant with this…we’re all God made, and beautifully crafted. If that ain’t a reason to love yourself, and appreciate the variety of others, then I don’t know what is. I love you all, but please, get it together. Realness has, and always will, come in a variety of sizes. Love it and embrace it, and be your own unique self.

It was God given.


  1. I am so glad someone wrote an article on this. I'm a proud big girl, but it's really immature when big girls rag on skinny girls and vice versa. If you are secure with your body, you won't even feel the need to put other women down who look different from you, and you won't have to talk about how much men love your body. That just seems really insecure to me.

  2. Dayum! If this article isn't every bit of truth. Women are so vicious to one another, just because we're insecure with out own selves. Great article though.

  3. Very good article. I think that people in general place too much emphasis on the physical and labels. I used to do it myself, calling people pretty plus sized girl, cute white boy etc, but I think we're kind of programed to label others. It makes us feel good about ourselves and separates us from individuals that are different. I think if you're attractive, then that's it-it should have nothing to do with your race/size/etc.

  4. Yeah I definitely think the whole size argument is stupid. If you love your body, cool. But don't try to snatch someone's womanhood away because they have a different body type. It's just dumb on so many levels.

  5. Insecure women feel the need to hate on others. Trust me when I say that when you hear them crowning themselves as superior, deep down inside, they still feel inferior.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Discover more from Urban Belle Magazine

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading