Sex may be abused in a society of the promiscuous obsession and the ever increasing relationship scarcity that is rumored to be a plague that has hit African American women more than anyone else, but for a couple that is banking on longevity and potentially happily ever after; sex will need to be more than just a way to pass the time and stroke gigantic egos, it will have to be satisfying and damn near polarizing to keep both people from depending on outside assistance. While we’d all like to think it ends with multiple orgasms and body chills, good sex should be passionate, just as much as it is mind blowing. A connection must be established if a couple desires stability, but if you’re hoping for long term, the sex ought to be so incredibly good, the thought of indulging in an affair would seem pointless, and totally unnecessary.
Sex requires able bodies, but constant good sex requires plenty of work and strong sexual compatibility. If your relationship is lacking spark in the bedroom, here are a few ways to bring lackluster sex to life.
1. Flirt like a new couple.
Sure, you may have been with your significant other for a while, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t refresh your relationship. In most cases, couples that have been together past the honeymoon phase find themselves flirting less, when they should actually be flirting more.
Flirting is extremely healthy for both partners as it assures both that the other is still sexually attracted to them. We all need to feel wanted in our relationships, and this must be understood and practiced throughout the relationship.
Flirting should be fun, and their are endless ways to make your partner feel sexy and loved. Kinky text messages, passionate love letters, home cooked meals with a glass of wine, and innocent affection can work wonders for just about any relationship. Even a gentle kiss on the neck could ignite passion into your relationship, and it only takes a few seconds to initiate.
2. Role play.
Halloween isn’t the only reason to dress up and get out of character for an enjoyable evening. Most couples have found success from implementing role playing into their sexual lives. The point of taking on roles is to add excitement to a sex life that has become routine and a little on the dull side. The key is to ignite passion back into your relationship, and step outside of the box you may be limiting yourself to.
While costumes may be ideal for most couples, every couple can benefit from additional accessories. Items such as handcuffs, blindfolds, ropes, oils and romantic fragrances can add a little fire to the bedroom.
3. Set the mood.
It’s amazing when you can jump right into a passionate moment with your significant other, but sometimes you both owe it to yourselves to make use of the atmosphere and allow it to inspire your inner passion.
Scented candles, rose petals, bubble baths, and satin sheets can drastically change any mood for the better.
4. Try new positions.
Sex is as versatile as the two people doing it. When your relationship begins to drag an old rusty and lackluster sex life like a raggedy and unwanted piece of luggage, it’s time to to experiment with some new positions.
While a change in sex positions is beneficial to those looking to bring the sizzle back into their relationship, it’s also great way for women to increase the chances of climax.
5. Get a risky location.
Location isn’t just everything when it comes to real estate.
The bedroom may be a sacred haven for every couple, but sometimes in order to get that spark back in the bedroom, you may have to take it outside the bedroom. By finding new places to explore sexually with your significant other, you will be able to reach new levels of excitement and adventure.
No one is born an amazing lover, it takes practice and ultimately a set of very good ears. There may be many people with inflated egos who brag about their skills in the bedroom, but these are usually the same people that are too busy to listen to their partner because they’re too busy talking.
Not everyone likes the same things when it comes to sex. To increase your chances of winning over your lover, be sure to talk to them about what they like. Your only job is to listen and give. Your partner must be committed to do the same.
When both people are willing listen, the sex will go from dull to absolutely amazing.
7. Set aside alone time every day.
One of black hollywood’s favorite couples Will and Jada Pinkett Smith have stated that they keep their relationship passionate by not only having lots of sex, but by also taking long showers together everyday to stay in tune with one another’s lives. You may not necessarily want to bathe with your significant other everyday, but by setting aside time to engage in your partner’s life each day, you will naturally maintain a connection with your partner that has the potential to keep your sex life intact.
8. Have more sex.
The more sex you have, the better off your relationship will be. The key to this rule is to make sure you are having fulfilling sex, on both ends. When you’re having great sex on a regular basis, you continuously reestablish the connection between you and your partner. The connection between two people is everything, and will always dictate the length of any relationship. It’s no secret that the couples who have lots of sex tend to stay together and are also more willing to commit to maintaining their relationships.
Sex isn’t everything, nor can it alone save any relationship. But good sex is a great starting point for any couple that desires to stay together, and ultimately build something that can withstand the pressures that life will throw and every couple will endure. Keep the communication strong in your relationship and commit yourself to putting in the work essential to preserving your relationship.