New Couple Survival Guide: Turn Short Term Into Long Term

Want to make it long term with your honey? Here’s how to make your current relationship solid, and built to withstand the “Honey Moon” phase.

By: Amanda Anderson

There isn’t a person on the planet who doesn’t want love. Humans, regardless of the gender, are emotional beings with a natural desire for partnership and oneness. Life is more beneficial when we get ourselves in order spiritually, but an active and healthy love life can place us in an enchanting state of bliss. It feels good to be part of a union that warrants genuine happiness, but the feeling is all too familiar right before a devastating split, and hence, the most painful of heartbreaks. Appropriately labeled the “Honey Moon Phase,” every couple must not confuse a temporary moment of happiness with guaranteed longevity. The truth is a great relationship requires constant attention, work, commitment, and realistic expectations. Sure, the romance we get from the movies and the explicitly over sexed novels seems ideal, but in the real world that takes place in a hostile dating environment between black men and black women, we should all get used to the idea of work in anything love and relationship related. What’s great won’t stay great the moment anyone becomes lazy.

But don’t fret, as long as you and your significant other are committed to maintaining a prosperous relationship, bliss will no longer be temporary.

Here’s how you can turn your short term spark into a long term relationship.

1. Master the art of communication.

No relationship, no matter how great it began, can survive without strong communication. It is essential that you and your partner find comfort in confiding in one another not just about the relationship, but everything that life throws your way.

When you start talking to your friends less about your relationship issues and bring them to the source of the discrepancies, it will eliminate a lot of problems that come from involving outsiders in our relationships. Strong communication means keeping your problems in house, and discussing ways to overcome obstacles that your relationship might be facing. The next time you find yourself unhappy with your partner, talk to your significant other first. Any man can appreciate a woman who can keep her friends out of the business. It’s sexy, and the smartest thing any woman can do.

2. Form a solid friendship through the course of your relationship.

It’s always great to be lovers, but lovers with a friendship in tow tend to stay together longer. Why? Well we all secretly desire a significant other that can ignite the romantic side of us, and simultaneously be a trusted friend, with a great pair of ears, and a broad set of shoulders to cry on when times get hard.

While we may like to act as if this isn’t required, it’s no coincidence that the relationships that work involve two people who see themselves just as much as friends as lovers.

3. Learn from the mistakes and triumphs of other couples.

Mistakes may be crucial in growth, wisdom, and our overall success; but who said they had to be our mistakes alone?

As you work on your relationship and grow closer to your significant other, couples around you will fail. Use their mistakes and failures as a guide on what to avoid in your own relationship. You can also learn from the more successful couples, and learn a few things that could help you and your partner. Both failures and successes are needed to mold something from average to astonishing.

4. Write your own rules.

While you may be learning from other couples, every great couple has their own set of rules that keeps their relationship intact. Create your own ways to bond, flirt, be romantic, and spice up the bedroom. Creativity keeps people together.

5. Maintain the intimacy.

When the word intimacy comes to mind, the majority of us automatically think of hot passionate sex. But intimacy is more than sex, it’s the ability for both partners to continuously make the other feel loved during the course of the relationship. Sex should always be an appetizer of any relationship, but never the main course.

If emotions only come to the forefront during sex, that relationship won’t last very long. Make your partner feel loved every single day of the relationship.

6. Have patience and never let go of it.

Our partners will never be perfect, no matter how happy they might make us. Dark times will come, and we can’t possibly see eye to eye on everything that we encounter in our relationships. But patience alone will keep us level headed, mature, and respectful despite obstacles and petty disagreements. Listen, take it in, and do something about it. But never make your significant other feel like a problem is minor or unworthy of your undivided attention. Respect the things you don’t understand, and then just maybe your partner will help you understand them better.

Relationships aren’t easy, but those that commit themselves to the work of a good relationship will ultimately have and keep a good relationship. When two people come together and dedicate themselves to making the other happy, only then will a relationship reach its highest potential. So love plenty, but give more; and if your partner lives by the same creed, you are right on your way to long term.


  1. These are really good tips. When you think about it, even older couples facing hard times could benefit from these suggestions. I don't think a lot of people understand how much work it takes to maintain a relationship. It's nothing like we see in the movies.

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