By: Taren Vaughan
Developing that strong bond between yourself and another person is something that just doesn’t happen overnight. It takes spending time with that person, having frequent conversations with them on a regular basis, you know, the normal things that you do when you are trying to get to know a person. Dating someone that you have no type of previous association with is cool, not knocking that at all. But what about dating someone that has been in the picture for years? Someone that you have really grown to know over an extended period of time. Despite what some people may think, getting into a relationship with a close friend could very well be the key to your happiness.
Think back on some the best relationships that you have had for a moment. Were they ones where you just jumped right into a relationship with a guy that you knew for all of a few weeks? Or were they the ones where a true friendship has involved prior to? My guess would be the ones where you all were friends first.
That is one of the most positive things about dating your friends. You have already established that real connection with each other. And because of that, you know a decent amount of their likes and dislikes, how they handle certain situations that are faced with, essentially the whole nine. The trust, commitment, communication; all of those things are already there between you two, things that all partnerships need to have. Granted, there may be some things that have been kept under wraps, but for the most part, you know everything there is to know about that person. So you can pretty much skip over that whole “getting to know your man” phase. He was your friend from jump so you already have this part in the bag.
Not to say that if you don’t have a friendship with your man before you two get in a relationship means that it will be doomed to hell from the very start. That’s a far-fetched to assume. But when you come into it already knowing a lot about the person that you are about to be with, it makes life so much easier for the both of you. You don’t have to go asking around about him and what he did in the past. No background checks and sending out nosey girlfriends to dig up information on him will be necessary. You most likely already know everything for yourself.
Though it may sound like an instant win to a lot of us, getting into a serious relationship with one of your homeboys can be a little scary to do. There’s always the thing where if it doesn’t work out, it may ruin the friendship that you had with that person. Up to this point, you have only had been in a friendship with them. They could be a certified jackass as a boyfriend. Yes, this could very well happen. The love fest that you thought you two were going to have turned out to be one of the worst dating experiences that you have ever had. But if the friendship is strong enough and based on something real and positive, I doubt you will have that problem on your hands. Besides, if he is good enough to be your friend, then he is probably well worth a shot as your boyfriend.
With any relationship that you find yourself in, there will be ups and downs that you will face as a couple, whether it’s with a long time friend or not. But who better to go through these things with than someone who has had your back from the start; A person who genuinely has your interest at heart and is not afraid to tell you when you are getting out of line. Wouldn’t you rather take a chance with a person you have known for a minute than to take a chance with a total stranger? I know I would.