Dating Out Of Desperation: Are You That Pressed To Find Love?

Just because you’re getting older doesn’t mean you have to settle for any ole man.

By: Taren Vaughan

Thinking that you may end up a lonely old woman is a strong fear that many women have. It’s especially one that a lot of us sisters have developed after having seen the statistics when it comes to the likelihood of African American women finding love. And let’s just say that the numbers are clearly not in our favor. And now thanks to these lovely facts that so many of us hang on to and live by, the mentality of the single black woman, or I should say some of them, has started to change.

We have become so determined to beat the odds of our “dating woes”. But that determination has turned into desperation, having some sisters runnin’ around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to find a man. And not a GOOD man, just any random man that comes their way.

Is it really that serious? Are you that pressed to the point where you will date just about any guy that shows you the slightest bit of kindness or attention?

There’s one small problem with that though. Every man who appears to be a good guy isn’t and probably has other motives behind his “sweet acts”. And if you are in such a rush to get into a relationship with him, or worse, take this stranger to the alter within a matter of weeks, you will totally miss that and will be stuck with a loser for the rest of your life. Even though our society seems to not value marriage as much as they did back in the day, trust that some of us out here still think it’s just as serious as it was before. So finding the right man to share it with, not just the first one that comes your way, is important and the key to a successful union.

We all want to find true love one day. But it doesn’t have to be tomorrow. Give yourself some time to really see what it is that you want in a partner, someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. What kind of qualities should he possess? Is he a God-fearing man that values his family and is morally sound? Think you might want to know these things before coin this guy as “the one”. But you are on a mission here so you don’t have time to worry about those things right? Wrong.

We get so caught up on the fact that everyone around us is getting into relationships, getting married and starting families that we begin to feel rushed when it comes to finding our own happiness. And will damn near snatch up the first man that comes along just so we can say that we have somebody.

Whose time clock are you on? Your own or your friends?

The very moment that they find love may not be the same time that you do. There’s a different story line for each and every one of us when it comes to this thing we call love. But because you are not getting any younger and everyone that you are associated with always gives you a constant reminder of that, you begin to feel the pressure of needing to settle down. Yes, we are getting older by the minute and no, each day is not promised to us. But rushing into a relationship or being with someone that you aren’t completely feeling is the one for you all out of fear of being alone is not the business. In due time, you will find a man that is made just for you. And you will find that happiness that you have been searching for.

Calm down and take a breather. Mr. Right will come to you eventually. Just give it time.