Dumb Phrases You Need to Stop Saying: “I Just Want to Be Open With My Sexuality”

Thanks to certain artists, whoredom is now…part of womanhood. But just exactly what is good about being open sexually, in a world full of deadly consequences and STDs?

By: Amanda Anderson

With the growing popularity of music industry skanks, it’s no surprise that it seems like no popular music artist is safe from becoming slave to the sexual propaganda that is being shoved down our throats, each coochie pop, and slutty image at a time. Sure, women are more independent, in the forefront of the corporate world like never before, but it seems as if the women in the music industry are still submissive robots unable to think for themselves, and willing to be nothing more than puppets, and bad role models in exchange for millions and record contracts to make crappy music.
When a small percentage of the public (who still has some common sense) expresses anger for the over sexual messages in their trashy music videos, they, just like Keri Hilson did recently, simply say:

“I just want to be open with my sexuality. And that’s part of being a woman. I’m grown.”

Are you grown…really? Because even a 14 year old can pop her coochie for the boys, and make out with the girls for the sake of an image and having open sexuality. I mean seriously, it’s no different from the males who call themselves men for screwing girls at record setting numbers. They make babies with numerous women, can’t commit in relationships with any woman, and throw a little money at these children, and still haven’t mastered condom usage because they too feel whoredom is a trait of adulthood.
It’s a lack of self control, and clearly not growth…and definitely not grown up status. But yet, the women who maintain the belief that their bodies are merely toys aren’t any better than their condom forsaking counterparts.  Both are open sexually…which begs me to ask, what’s so good about being open about the one thing that is killing people in record numbers?
What is so good about being open about something that was meant to be…intimate?
And please explain to me what is so good about lacking self control or how does the inability to master it make you…grown? Isn’t part of being grown being responsible and having self control? 
In our current society, we worry about what these images are doing to our children. But what about what these images are doing to grown people? 
I mean we have brothers praising other brothers for promiscuous behavior and treating women like mere sexual conquests, and treating fatherhood like a monthly bill; then, we have sisters also embracing promiscuity as cute, grown, and even the rite of passage into womanhood.
We’ve been calling men dogs for years for their lack of self control, but where is the self control in our new fondness with open sexuality?
Does anybody want to be a lady anymore? And does anybody, I mean anybody want to be a man anymore? Because neither requires such a high level of sexual ignorance and immaturity.
But can I be surprised when we are majorly made up of people who rarely refer to themselves as men and women, but instead n-ggas and b-tches? The labels we’ve so calmly accepted in our culture are so telling of just what we really are, and it can’t be adults.
We can’t even properly define just what behavior constitutes as grown.
My skin crawls every time I hear another sister say she’s promiscuous because she’s grown. I could attempt to say maybe she’s naive sexually because of past dealings with shady men, but then it’s clear that we aren’t any better than children, as we grown ups are still being molded by the images we see in our own music. We point our fingers at the parents’ lack of control of their children they petition Hollywood for, but clearly anyone who praises this new movement of open sexuality hasn’t mastered adulthood themselves.
As a woman, I can’t understand how any female believes that valuing her body less is fabulous. Nor can I understand why we’re so accepting of any artist who prides themselves on destroying our communities one stupid interview at a time and one STD reeked club hit at a time.
When Lil’ Wayne and Drake said they wanted to screw every girl in the world, why were we in the clubs singing along?
When Keri, Rihanna, Ciara, and countless others sing more about getting screwed and being bad than singing about what it means to be loved, why do we praise this behavior?
Why are we becoming the very people they sing about, without even questioning what this lack of responsibility really brings to our lives? Because when I read about the ridiculous number of people dying from AIDS, or the number of women developing cervical cancer for having numerous sex partners, the increasing popularity of unhealthy relationships, the moderate growth of absent fathers, and the decline of self esteem in our communities; I can’t help but see that open sexuality isn’t empowering, but instead, just another form of bondage.
But we’ll never get free until we see sex for what it is, and that’s something that was never meant to be so careless.
Being a woman means being smart about our sexuality, not careless about our sexuality. Know the difference or end up another statistic. 


  1. Damn about time someone told the truth! Try to tell these "grown" women about condoning these type of female and male performers, but nooo "we're just hating!". God I want that word and these puppets to go away.

  2. This was brilliant. I've felt this way for a long time and I'm so glad my thoughts are put so perfectly into this article. Thank you thank you thank you. I'm spreading this around everywhere. <3

  3. The only thing that puzzles me is just why people see your article as some kind of revelation and “fearless”. It has always been OBVIOUS to me that modern popular culture relies heavily on exploiting women and for some reason women have been brainwashed to believe that it is fine. More than fine – women believe this “sexual revolution” is actually GOOD for them. Women try to convince everyone they have amazingly high sex drives and need to act on the sex drive like men do. Also women seem to “fulfill” their sexual needs by pleasing men! This is all complete and utter nonsense, in a way I am ashamed to be a woman as we seem to be so naive and easily brainwashed. How can any woman ever have thought that sleeping around is good for her? That acting provocatively gets her respect? And all the pop stars should just effing shut up. If women really crave sexual satisfaction as much as men do could someone pleas explain why male prostitution is virtually non-existent? Or why don’t we have magazines such as Playgirl? Cuz there’s no demand for this stuff! Let’s all stop acting like male-governed media tell us to and use our brains for crying out loud. Women stop being effing idiots!!!

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