In most cases, sex equals the decline of romance, dates, long conversation, and courting…here’s why. Oh yeah, I won’t sugarcoat anything. So prepare yourself.
By: Amanda Anderson
Women everywhere are confused on just what skills they should concentrate the most of their efforts on developing, in the name of getting a man. You see, our society is sex crazed. So naturally, we as a product of our oversexed and lustful society believe that if we master sex, we could master men, and eventually love. However, one must wonder why we would place sex on such a pedestal, when it’s treated so casually and meaningless in our present day culture. I mean, why would any woman overvalue what our environment currently places so little value in? The woman’s vagina is the most disrespected, less valued, and sought after and REPLACED body part in our current society. Sure, men don’t value it as much, but it is the gatekeepers ourselves that have made it a cheap commodity easily obtained before commitment is even accomplished. Then we have the nerve to act as if we somehow master bedroom tricks, it somehow gains more value, instead of making it harder to obtain, which is the only reason anything has any true value.
For example, you can’t find a diamond in your backyard. You have to hop on a plane, do some digging, and get your hands dirty to get a diamond. So it’s understandable why it’s high in value. Not everyone is willing to hop on a plane and do some work. But sex, any man can turn into exactly who he needs to be in the beginning to get your sex. He doesn’t have to get his hands dirty and commit, but instead, just show a little interest, and take you on a couple of dates. And since this is the case, your sex, no matter how good, has no real value. He can find another you in days. And often times, he does.
And it is the women who are convinced that their sex is the bomb that seem to get played more than anyone else. They know they are the most man pleasing, man nabbing, women to walk the face of the earth…but men “love” them and leave them as if they are the easiest to replace. So here’s the real question: Is good sex that important if it clearly can’t keep a man in your life?
I mean seriously, your sex is so awesome, but it’s extremely easy for any man to find someone just as pleasing sexually. In fact, many times you have been replaced…regardless of your bedroom awesomeness.
So why are you still placing so much value on something so meaningless, and yelling foul when you cheapened your own worth?
Here’s where so many women waste so much time…
They fall for the “beginning” romance. Yes, he is thoughtful, he is romantic, he takes you out on dates, and acts so interested in you. But why don’t we ever consider that we’ve only been dealing with this man for a couple of weeks? The most logical reason all men are who they have to be in the beginning is because they want sex. Men are hunters, but when it’s easy to catch the prey, the chase becomes more important than the object of desire can ever be.
Some men just want to sleep with you…and a relationship was never part of the plan. All the the things he did in the beginning don’t matter, the end result will always be the same.
Simply put, men aren’t screwing you, but you’re screwing yourself, because you’ve made it so easy. You are the gatekeeper. You set the standards. When you demand the best, you will get the best. But when you demand right now, you will get RIGHT NOW. Yes, he will be want you want him to be for right now, and when he gets what he wants, you will be pushed to the side for the next conquest. And after right now, you eventually see that the man you were diggin’ doesn’t even care about you, but instead, cares only about himself.
You’re giving away a part of you, before they even commit. And a smart woman knows, you don’t ever give away a piece of yourself before a man gives you his all…and that’s by committing to you.
So why praise any man for taking the quick route to what he wants in the physical, than only dealing with the man who’s willing to take months, years, and even decades to build something with you? Let’s stop bragging to our girlfriends about the man who cooked us dinner after one week of knowing us, and instead reserve praise for the man who was willing to wait months, hell even years, or for marriage because he saw the true value, and realized you were worth the wait.
And shouldn’t all women want to be worth the wait, and not just woo worthy for a couple of weeks only?
Now I’m saying that commitment is the safest route, but it also depends on the authenticity of the commitment. For example, just because he decides he’s ready to commit in the first two weeks doesn’t mean he’s serious. You can still get played in this case. But, know that as humans, the gig can’t outlast a few months. So it’s smart to wait for about 3 months, IF you want to see the genuineness of any man.
But here’s the truth, it’s smarter to wait for marriage. Yeah, I said it. It is smarter to wait for marriage to have sex with any man.
For four reasons:
1. God said so.
2. No one will EVER be able to use you again.
3. It forces a man to go hard or go home. And yes, he will appreciate you more if he has to work for you.
4. It weeds out the losers, they will flee once you reveal your plans to wait. There is no easier way to weed about bad men.
Think about it. God told us not to have sex before marriage. People think this was commanded because God wanted to make our lives miserable, but actually, it’s sex before marriage that makes us miserable. He knew we would die from STD’s, be emotionally damaged, confuse love with lust, and risk being used by multiple people who don’t value us…yet, we are running around here giving ourselves to men who don’t even belong to us.
Believe it or not, I had a man play me for almost three years. And there are many men who will do the same to you. He did the bare minimum to keep me around for three years. Meanwhile, he had an entire relationship with another woman I had no idea about.
Now I’m not blaming this man completely, because clearly I could have made better decisions.
And these are the men that we are giving our bodies to. The ones who do the bare minimum, and see no true value in us besides the little value found between our legs.
Wouldn’t it be smarter to only give ourselves to the men who valued us enough to wait and establish a solid foundation?
I stopped having sex. Men weren’t too thrilled to discover their little beginning romance traps wouldn’t work with me, and I was rejected by many. But I just decided I didn’t want to be used anymore…and that was my motivation. Sure, I was without a man for a couple of years, but in the process, I remembered that God is a provider. All I have to do is trust Him.
Two and half years later, someone who knew my worth came, and yes, he was willing to wait and still is. I have never been so loved by any man before in my life. Isn’t it crazy that I had to withhold to RECEIVE and that when I was giving away, I got NOTHING?
You have to make your own choice on just how long a man should wait for you. I decided he must wait until marriage, but you must make the best decision for you. But make no mistake, a man should wait. Understand that it’s best to reserve sex for a genuine commitment. You are worth that! Casual sex has no real benefits to any woman. I don’t care what propaganda our present day culture presents. Casual sex is an idea formulated to provide men with an abundance of options, and leave women with hardly any. Sex with multiple partners is killing women. Research shows cervical cancer is also caused by sex with multiple partners, we’re dying from AIDS/HIV, and getting caught up with the worst of men all because they were sweet in the beginning. Let’s love the men who are willing to wait on us, however long we decide we should wait. To do it any other way is gambling with our own lives and our own value.
So who cares how good your sex is? If a man isn’t willing to wait on you, you’re not as valuable as you think you are.
And only you can change that.
God bless.
What a beautiful article!!! Very well written/said.
I couldnt agree no less, this is valid and I feel ALL WOMEN should read
This and truly be educated on the real deal, because yes, we all have experienced unfortunate
Relationships with the very unworthy. I truly love everything you said, extremely sad but true. I
Just want to emPower our youth (delicate&innocent young women) on how to distinguish a liar/cheat in the
Young man form that is appealing to their eyes.
What a genuine and beautiful article! I hope lots of women come across this article and really implement it in their own lives….
Amazingly profound and beautiful. Amanda, I wish I had friends like you in my life. I stated in another post that there are some women who are alone not because they are too picky or undateable, but for this reason only. I feel that my rejections for not having sex until marriage almost equals the rejection from women who get dissed after having it. My one consolation is that I have never been used by any man & I still have my soul.