Mr. Right Or Mr. Right Now: Which Man Are You In Search of?

Which man are you really trying to have on your arm?

By: Taren Vaughan

Finding “The One” is not something that just happens overnight, although we wish it was that simple. It can take years of dating and rubbing elbows with a few douche bags here and there before you will come across a man that you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. And knowing that it can take this long prior to you even stepping your foot onto the dating scene can lead some of us to become overly anxious. So anxious that we will put our search of Mr. Right on the back burner and resort to picking up the next best thing to him…Mr. Right Now. Very similar in titles, these two men, but trust and believe there is a huge difference between them.

Allow me to break down Mr. Right Now.

Mr. Right Now is a man who will do for the time being. He is not deemed as “The One” by any stretch of the imagination because most likely, you probably only know the bare minimum about this dude. You know his general information that a stranger off the street could pick up on during a casual conversation with him. He is not the worst there is out there. He must be a tolerable individual and not a flat out asshole for you to have him around. But all in all, he is most definitely not the one that you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with. Too many personal flaws stop him from even being in the running for that. Overall though, he is the one that is just right to have on your arm for now. Nothing serious at all are you looking for with this man.

Doesn’t sound too much like the man you’ll want to walk down the aisle with.

So if Mr. Right Now is such a fail waiting to happen, why do so many of us go after this type of guy?

Loneliness, that’s why.

As frustrating as dating can be looking for the man of your dreams can become discouraging, time consuming, all of the above. And lead us to put our quest for true love on pause. And this frustration usually results in us getting with a man simply to fill that void until the real deal comes along. Is that really the way to go though? Getting with a guy just for the hell of it just because you are getting tired of looking for the person who you could spend the rest of your years with?

Mr. Right Now may seem very tempting as he is just enough man to get you by for the moment. But what happens when he over stays his welcome? Just because you have labeled him as “the man of the hour”, doesn’t mean that he is aware of his real purpose with you. That brother may really believe that he is something special to you when in actuality he is nothing but a temporary love. Now, you are stuck with a man who you knew from the start was just supposed to be a around for the meantime; A man that you know good and damn well is not up to par when it comes to what you are looking for in a life long partner.

What’s the biggest difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now?

Mr. Right is the one that every woman should be in search of if they are honestly looking for a partnership that will last longer than a month. He is the one that meets the relatives and friends. He is the one that you look to build a family with. He is the one that provides you with moral support and is loyal to you and the relationship that you have with him. And if you are truly trying to find a man who you can do all of these things with, there is really no place for Mr. Right Now in your life. Leave him to someone that is just trying to have a little fun to satisfy their boredom and disgust with the dating pool.

When you are on a true mission to find a good man to form a solid partnership with, think about what kind of man you are going after. You may try to convince yourself that you are looking for Mr. Right. But before you make that claim, take a good, long look at the man that stands beside you. Is he really what you are looking for in a future partner? Or is he just a five day fix to your loneliness?


  1. Thanks Taren for such an interesting topic. There are lots of women who are content dating Mr. Right Now. Mr. Right Now is good for someone who does not want to be a wife or have any type of commitment. However, if you are a woman who aspires to be a wife, then dating Mr. Right Now is not going to help you, nor is it going to get you any closer to Mr. Right. If your dating Mr. Right now when you know in your heart he's not what what you want, your wasting your time. Life is short and time waits for no man or woman. As women, we have to STOP settling. The key is, you attract what you are. So I ask all ladies to do some self evaluation and figure out what you want, make necessary changes, and attract what you want.

  2. @Anon Thank you for your comments…And I agree with you that women who are looking to become wives and mothers one day should be in search of Mr. Right and should be bypassing Mr. Right Now…And yes, a lot of us do settle for whoever, whenever and that will get you nowhere fast

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