By the time a woman reaches her mid 20s, it becomes even clearer that there are some pretty nasty double standards when it comes to sex and even climbing the corporate ladder. But it isn’t until we’re single that we see the biggest double standard of all, and that’s how each gender is viewed when they’re single. There’s a huge difference that not only changes the way women see ourselves, but it’s causing us to forfeit standards all together…all in the name of appealing more to men who get praised for the thing we get trashed on…being single.
Yes, single women are treated like more of a social stigma and some form of environmental taboo, versus women in waiting for their perfect match. Meanwhile, men are praised for their bachelor ways, and patted on the back for putting off commitment for as long as they possibly can.
Single men are players, pimps, and bachelors…but single women are b-tches, hoes, and desperate bridesmaids.
When I didn’t have a man, it’s as if society labeled me as one of the lowest forms of women on the planet. And before you write it off as men being the dogs we’ve always thought to be, you’d be surprised to know that I suffered more criticism for being single from…OTHER WOMEN. As a writer, I can’t even tell you the number of women who told me I had nothing to say about men and relationships until I myself had a man.
This mentality is only the result of the continuous brainwashing we’ve been subjected to as a gender. We’ve been told so many times that a woman’s worth is determined by her marital status, that somewhere down the line, most of us started to believe it.
The funny thing about all of this is that the majority of us were so ready to take the relationship advice of a comedian turned adulterer divorcee, before we listened to the sister who already learned that very lesson he spoke of. Oh yes, when a single sister has something to say about relationships, we’ll give her the side eye and question her credentials. But when a divorcee with a penis and an adulterous past gives advice, we listen. And that’s simply because even we view singlehood as a curse, instead a crucial part necessary for happiness, and even wisdom.
Now simply because life itself is a series of cause and effect, our brainwashing eventually trickled down into our dating behavior.
Since nobody wants to be that “pathetic single woman,” we’re cutting down our standards. In fact, most women will abandon them all together just to have another body in their beds.
But no one ever considers just how dangerous it is to be the woman with no standards. Sure, when we no longer have restrictions, men will surely come a dime a dozen. But a bed filler doesn’t always a husband make.
Why have we become such cowards?
Many of us are afraid to have standards, yet you won’t catch a man without any for his prospective partners.
A man will tell you about his body requirements, sexual skill requests, and even the background he prefers his woman to originate from.
But we’ll make the sacrifice to date the man with a host of known issues just because anything’s better than being single.
What the hell gives?
Let’s make one thing clear. Half of the country will end up divorced, heart broken, bitter, and angry because their marriage didn’t work out the way they imagined it. They’ll marry again, and most likely, end up with another failed marriage. And this is because half of the country married bed fillers instead of compatible partners.
For this reason alone, you should have NO SHAME in taking your sweet time to find the right person. Sure, you’ll be labeled as a pathetic manless b-tch, but those standards aren’t always as pointless as society has made them out to be. When we mature and learn ourselves, our standards begin to truly reflect what we really need from potential partners.
When I was 18, my standards reflected ridiculous things like the type of college degree my man would have to have…but in my 20s, my first requirement was good character and a relationship with God. So it’s not that standards are hurting us and are bad to have ladies, it’s just that we have to develop them as we mature.
There’s no need to be a coward and abandon your standards just to have a man…because trust me when I say, having the right man matters more, a lot more.
Put on your big girl panties and have some damn standards, you’ll save yourself the misery in the end.