The longer I spend on the most popular of social networks, it becomes even more clear that most people spend most of their energy proving something to their exes, instead of taking the loose ends and just moving on. This flawed behavior is very obvious thanks to a series of immaturity filled status updates, and irate tweets and wall postings. While it’s completely natural to be a little emotional when love disappoints us, should we really allow someone who failed us to occupy all of our grown ass-ness, attention, and Facebook tendencies?
Exhibit A: Every Facebook Status Update Is About You “Doing You”
As a woman who was “doing her” three years before meeting someone I could do; I’m pretty sure you understand me when I say the person that is really “doing them” doesn’t have time to keep reminding Facebook as such because they are busy…doing them.
Is there really anything more annoying than that particular “doer” who really isn’t doing sh-t to move on from that toxic relationship they refuse to let go of?
And let go means more than just breaking things off. Letting go actually involves doing nothing…yes, I mean nothing to get even or teach lessons to people who never put the same type of energy into well…you. You’re pissed off, believe me I get that, but to focus energy on someone who won’t return the favor is and will always be a waste of your time. Do yourself a favor, and let go of more than the title. Let go of the control they have over you as well.
Exhibit B: Reminding Your Ex You’re A Big Deal Actually Makes You Look Small
Okay, so we all know that we can simply de-friend and unfollow our exes, but we don’t because we need them to see that we’re still kind of a big deal despite the fact they played our asses.
So we’ll use our sexiest profile picture and avi possible just to make sure we clarify that particular message.
And of course we can’t stop there. Rather it’s a sudden increase of hanging out with our girlfriends we dissed when we were happy with that douche bag or a host of random and impulsive “road trips”; we have to upload pictures and update statuses on every move we make post break up.
Newflash: If he didn’t care about what you did while he was with you…he damn sure doesn’t care now. Be the big deal and big girl you say you are and stop worrying about proving a point to someone who has no interest in you.
Exhibit C: Publicizing Your New Bootycalls So He’ll Know You’re Moving On Is…Desperate
So you meet a sweet thang at the club last night, and made the decision to let him sleep over on your FIRST NIGHT of meeting him. Now you may feel like you got your swag back, but should you really get excited that you let some random dude at the club hit it with no plans of committing to you?
Now someone will take this as haterism from some old, pruned up conservative chick; but the truth of the matter is booty calls can’t erase the emotional stress of a failed relationship. As we get closer to our thirties and forties, you can’t really believe letting random dudes tap it is the best way to something real…eventually.
It rarely works out that way.
The grown woman way to healing is to face the pain and move forward…not become some random dude’s jumpoff and brag about it on Facebook and Twitter.
Besides, nothing feels better to your ex than you proving that you really weren’t that valuable…hell even random club dudes are hitting it. I’m just saying.
Let’s wrap it up like magnums:
The best type of revenge is…commitment. Yes, nothing makes an ex boyfriend more salty than some dude coming along and doing the one thing he couldn’t do: commit to you! When our exes see us getting discarded like they discarded us, they feel validated in treating us like trash. But when you keep your standards high and require something real…you’ll get just that, and it’s the best way to get even with someone who just didn’t have your best interests in mind.
So before you start Facebook stuntin’ and Twitter shinin’…make better use of your time and actually move the hell on. Ain’t nobody, and I mean nobody worth playing yourself.