A woman anonymously shares how her addiction to snooping turned off the one good man who was actually being faithful.
Every time I think about how things ended between me and my last boyfriend, I feel absolutely horrible for doing what I did. I could easily say I did what I did because of the pretty bad experiences I had with other guys, but the blame pretty much belongs to me completely.
I was dating this guy I really liked for a couple of months before we became exclusive. He was easy to develop feelings for because he is so intelligent and driven in life, and I guess I felt he was my equal since we had the same interests career wise. We started spending a lot of time together, and everything was cool until I started to believe that it was all too good to be true!
My girls didn’t help the situation, as one of them flatly told me one night during a conversation that, “They all cheat!” And to put him on some kind of pedestal was nothing short of foolish.
The insecurities from my last relationships began to really creep in my spirit, and when I had that one opportunity to snoop, I did.
He left his phone on the coffee table during our weekly movie night. I assumed he went to the bathroom, and I figured it would be enough time to see who he was calling and texting besides me.
I picked up the phone and saw pretty innocent messages, with a few calls to some mutual friends we had. I felt pretty stupid, but before I could put the phone back, he was there looking at me like I had stole something.
The look on his face said it all. I tried to explain, and even apologized. He was not hearing it.
He told me he couldn’t date a woman who snooped through his things. He mentioned his last relationship was with a very untrusting female, and he refused to go through that again. As I tried to explain what I had been through, he calmly explained snooping is a sign that someone has trust issues and someone with trust issues shouldn’t be in a relationship.
He kindly asked me to leave, and I walked out extremely embarrassed and pretty shocked that I had lost my cool so early into the relationship. It was at that moment that I realized I had major baggage that would keep costing me relationships if I didn’t handle it.
He wouldn’t return my phone calls…period.
If I could do anything differently, I would have definitely not given the bad advice I was given from my friends the merit that I did. I think we as women really believe the worst about men, and if we don’t change our attitudes, it will be hard to trust in relationships. People, men and women, deserve trust until they prove otherwise. Now that I know that, I will be careful who I take advice from.
A Former Snoop Who Learned Her Lesson
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