You’re Not Single Because You’re A ‘Strong Black Woman’ (Raw & Uncensored)

Just another column from an educated black man who doesn’t spare feelings or understand why some women attribute their relationship status to a result of being too “strong.”

By: Mike J.

My ex-girlfriend was a b-tch.

I’m not a thug. I’m not an aspiring rapper. And I don’t hate women. But I’m a grown man that understands that women can be b-tches; and my awareness of that fact doesn’t make me disrespectful, but instead observant. Now that I got that out the way…

My ex-girlfriend was a b-tch.

Ever met a woman that’s so angry, you swore she must have woke up that way every single day? Well that’s her. She has a pretty serious attitude problem that I wasn’t made aware of until we were a couple months into the relationship. I guess b-tchiness was reserved for comfort because I didn’t see it until her guard was down. Even though everyone else knew she was a b-tch, she spent most of her time complaining of the struggles of being a “strong black woman.” In black man’s language, that really just means “Hey, I’m an annoying b-tch.”

Right now somewhere in this country there’s a small group of single black women talking out their frustrations with black men. They’ll blame everything on our “love of white women,” our inability to stay out of prison, to their “understanding” that black men are intimidated by their careers and education.

But I’m an educated black man that has never dated a white woman. I’ve never been to prison. And every black woman I’ve ever been with has had a college degree and full time job.

I’m not unique either, but plenty of black women would like to pretend I am just to free themselves of any responsibility in their dating failures.

But if you’re what you say you are, why talk so much about it?

Coretta Scott King didn’t have to remind Martin Luther King about how strong she was. Rosa Parks didn’t tell the bus driver she was a “strong black woman” when she refused to get up and moved to the back of the bus. Nor did Michelle Obama have to continuously remind Barack that she was college educated.

The strength and education in all of these women was evident by what they did and how they carried themselves. But for you youngin’s, your career and education are the two things you feel entitle you to a man.

I understand we have issues in the black community, and black men need to step up to the plate…become better fathers, husbands, and stop impregnating women before we marry them. But if you’re an adult, can’t you bare some responsibility as to why you’re not where you want to be relationship wise?

Some of y’all haven’t found the right man because you’re too busy fu-king the wrong man.

Look, are we really going to pretend that educated black women are single because too many black men are in prison? I’m pretty sure that any brother in the pen can’t be compatible to a degree toting sister. He was propped on the street corners, while you were taking classes. You ain’t checking for the dudes in prison, but you’re pushing away your potential partners who have avoided prison because you’ve missed it.

So why can’t you attract a black man who has as much to bring to the table as you? For some, it’s your attitude.

A strong black woman doesn’t mean a loud, obnoxious, angry and self centered woman. None of those aforementioned traits can be found in a strong person. If you’re any of those things, you’re not strong, you’re bitter. And it’s just not appealing to an educated black man who has plenty to offer you.

I ended up breaking things of with my ex girlfriend. The relationship drained me. The tension drained me. She drained me.

And guess what? She’s still single and still blaming our failed relationship on me not being to handle a “strong black woman.” So what does it mean when no one can handle you?


  1. Standing ovation!!!! And that video, yes! I cosign 200%. There is definitely a difference between a strong woman and a bitter one. And a lot of women are bitter.

  2. Man I know like 40 women like this. They always pull that men are intimidated card because they are single. I don’t think it’s that but I just think men don’t want to date women that they know they will always have to fight with. My brother dated a girl like that once and she was so terrible that the whole family started to hate her. Being strong doesn’t mean being so damn unpleasant all the time.

  3. I think black women have gotten so used to having to hold it down so much that we kind of forget how to just be a woman sometimes. We wear too many hats. And a long list of bad relationships makes it hard to soften up. I see your points Mike but I just think we have to remember why some women are behaving this way.

  4. Whatever Mike!!!! You’re intimidated by strong black women just like the rest of them!!!! This is fact!!! That is why y’all love white women!!!

    1. Did you read ANY of the article? I don’t date white women and you’re not doing a good job of proving me wrong about “strong black women” with your response.

  5. Mike J I like this column. Im so sorry that your ex girlfriend is a B****, however its time to move on. It sounds like it just didn’t work out. She probably is bitter and that’s her problem. A lot of women use being too strong as an excuse, so what? They have to learn for themselves that it is a poor excuse and search for a deeper understanding of why they are alone. A real woman does not have to boast about her strength, degrees, and other accolades because those around her see her strength. She’s confident, but humble. We should focus on strong good women, not the bitter ones.

    And as far as the race card in the video clip, date who you are compatible with and who you love. Race does not matter. I just don’t like when black women are categorized in one group because you ran across a few black women with attitudes. We don’t all have attitudes and roll our necks when we talk. Being angry all the time and having an attitude is not a strong black woman issue, its a Mental Health problem.

  6. What’s the point in bragging about what needs to be done..being the Sole breadwinner..what ever…what i’m tired of is Single dads wanting a pat on the back for doing what they are supposed to do..that’s when i have to speak up and say..SO WHAT!!! BIG DEAL!!! I’ve been doing it for years by myself..I’m off the subject. I just had to speak on that..

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