The Metrosexual Male: Masculinity’s Friend or Foe?

Will masculinity be completely lost at the hands of the metro sexual male?

By: Jason Perry


Wikipedia defines Metrosexual as a man who spends a lot of time and money shopping to enhance his appearance. The word itself is a neologism derived from metropolitan and heterosexual, which is typically a straight male who lives in a metropolitan area, who is extremely influenced by the urban culture around him. For the average man it takes about 20 to 30 minutes to get dressed for his day or social events, but for the metro sexual man this will be a long pain staking process that started the day before. Eyebrows cleaned, facial routine done, hair is finally doing what I want it to do, teeth whitened, fitted suite acquired, and pedicure complete. This is just a portion of the long check list the Metrosexual Man must meet before giving you the privilege of being in his presence. Although this prep time varies from man to man, in the eyes of some women I spoke to, “I don’t want a man who’s prettier than me” seems to be the consensus. Women have always had a strong influence in the way men dress and take care of themselves, but the real question is who influences women and is that influence slowly changing what we have historically considered to be masculine?

It’s no secret that some of fashion’s most provocative and ground breaking trends have been created by gay men. In the fashion industry the gay male is a must have, from Gucci to Coogi, the opinion of the gay male is highly recommended and highly desired. The term butterfly effect could be used to describe the role gay men play in the way straight men dress, and this may be hard for the Metrosexual to admit. In the fashion industry, most of our well known designers and stylists happen to be men and a lot of them are gay. Most women who go beyond basic in their attire more than likely have a gay best friend, who has dressed them according to fashion rules. The gay best friend is neat, brutally honest and always the most trendy person in the room. Women like this so they have started to buy clothes for the man in their life who may be just shy of neat and far away from trendy. Now men are doing it themselves which is putting woman between a rock and a gay place. Although the Metrosexual male is not gay, he has to constantly defend his fashion choices and grooming habits simply because he’s a dude who likes to look really good.

As intense grooming habits have gone beyond the gay man and have become the straight mans new tool to attract women, have the lines become too blurred to recognize the difference between a man who is gay and one who is just a Metrosexual? The term itself was first coined in an article by Mark Simpson in 1994, and since then it has been used to describe that guy you know who is not gay, but is clearly in touch with his feminine side. Unfortunately for men who fall into this category, women have begun to investigate that man, question that man more intensely and really contemplate if she can handle sharing bathroom space and the social spotlight. This type of male is a growing breed, but I don’t think we are in any danger of losing masculinity, everything must evolve into something more or something different and we are no exception. The Metrosexual male is a welcome friend and MVP in all things classy, stylish and tasteful; anything less would be an affront to his very nature.


  1. I am one of those women the writer is referring to. I cannot and will not date a man who is more feminine than I am. There would be absolutely no balance. I love a manly man and someone who isn’t as materialistic as me. It’s just not my thing.

  2. I tried to date a metrosexual man. I really tried. And I really liked him. But he was not a very nice person. He was extremely superficial and made me feel like I had to look like a model 24 hours of the day. If I wore sweat pants around the house he complained, and I always felt like he was judging me about my weight. I’m not saying all metrosexual men are like this, but this was enough to turn me off from the completely.

    1. Girl I did too and it was the fail of fails. Believe it or not, there are some females who actually like their swag. But I’m a little too laid back to make it work.

  3. I think most women are close minded to the idea of dating a metrosexual man. A lot of it has to stem from the fact that we’ve been brainwashed to believe every black man who isn’t acting like a thug is gay and on the down low. It’s a shame we have to be paranoid about who we date these days.

  4. Nowadays it’s just too hard to distinguish who’s gay or not, so I usually don’t even mess with the metrosexual dudes. It’s hard enough out here, I don’t want to add on guessing someone’s sexuality. I don’t even look their way. LOL

  5. But how do you date a man that stands in the front of a mirror as long as you do? That’s just hard for me to get used to. I was talking to a close friend about dating and being single, and she suggested I need to step outside of my comfort zone when it comes to guys. A lot of them are metrosexual. But it’s hard and I am just not really comfortable dating these types of men.

  6. I wouldn’t get a pedicure or my eyebrows waxed but I do feel that a well fitting suit and tie combo is an essential piece in a man’s wardrobe.

  7. This is an interesting article. I would be considered a metrosexual male. I’m not superficial, I however do care about my appearance as I work in corporate america and higher ed and there is a way we must carry ourselves as we represent a brand. In turn, I myself am a brand. I find it funny women are either intimidated or skeptical about dating a metrosexual male…well, unless he is Dwyane Wade or Derrick Rose…or Idris Elba or Sean Combs…wait, I guess you have to be in the millionaire bracket to be accepted as a straight male who cares about their appearance.

    I believe what it comes down to is the inner person, their morals, values, integrity, education, commitment, honesty, etc. Fact is for me, my parents dressed my brothers and I like “non-thugs” and I have continued in my fathers footsteps, who was a straight man (was because he is no longer here). Now, I don’t get my eye brows cleaned but I do get facials because pimples and bad skin is not healthy or attractive to females…lol…I think these stereotypes have to stop because just because black women have “attitudes” doesn’t mean I give up on all black women. But overall, I think a man should care about his appearance and not have to look like a thug or wear clothes 3 sizes too large. Thats insane.

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