Beyonce Says She Was Afraid to Secretly Release Album on iTunes, Talks More Sexual Image

By: Amanda Anderson-Niles

Beyonce’s latest album has already made history just a little over a week after its release, and now the singer is opening up more about just why she decided to drop the album with no promotion or even a heads up to her fans.

The singer discussed her album Saturday night at New York’s School of Visual Arts and she answered questions her fans have been dying to know about her new music.

Here are some of the highlights.

On getting rid of her alter egos and just how the track “Yoncé” was born:

“We were in the studio, and Justin Timberlake started beating on buckets. So, when you hear the beat, it’s literally a bucket. It was really organic, and it reminded me of being in middle school during the lunch breaks, when you just start freestyling. So we kept the buckets, and we went back and forth. I was very adamant about keeping it organic, because that whole element is what is so beautiful about it. And Dream just started, ‘Yoncé on his mouth like liquor,’ and I’m like, ‘What does that mean?’ But I love it, I think Beyoncé is Beyoncé, Mrs. Carter is Beyoncé, Sasha Fierce is Beyoncé. And I’m finally at a place where I don’t have to separate the two. It’s all pieces of me, and just different elements of a personality of a woman, because we are complicated.”

She even admitted she was really afraid to release the album the way she did:

“I just got off the stage, I had a glass of wine and my cousin Angie was like, ‘Are you alright?’ because I was talking to myself and I was terrified. I was so scared. I had already gone through all the horrible ways it could go in my mind… I saw it live on iTunes and I waited for the first comment. Then I woke up the next morning and… [breaks into dance].”

Beyonce also says motherhood has changed her and everything about herself she wishes to change she decided to put in her music. On her more sexual image and the overall message of the new album, she says:

“More than the music, I’m proud of myself as a woman. It’s about loving your imperfections and the things that make you interesting, because I refuse to let anyone put me in a box.

“I have always been very generous, I have been generous on stage and take my pain and joy into my performance. But I’m private… I think it just took me not being anyone’s child. Once I had a child, I broke down that fourth wall. I feel liberated, and I feel like I can give my heart to people.”

Beyonce is at a point of her career where she understands how important it is to be the one who has the control over her career. It’s one of the reasons she admires Madonna so much:

“My father taught me so, so much. When I decided to manage myself, it was important to me not to sign to some big company. I wanted to follow in Madonna’s footsteps and be a powerhouse. When you get to this level, you don’t have to share your money or your success… And we did it. And it’s my company.”

And while the singer’s critics feel she should focus more on getting number one singles, Beyonce says she would rather focus on putting together a full album she can be proud of:

“This is my first album that — of course I wanted people to love it and critics to love it and for it to be successful — but my goal was not picking a No. 1 single. My goal was putting together a body of work, and I just wanted to know that people cared about music. Honestly, I was at a point where everything feels the same. What I said in ‘Ghost,’ ‘All the sh*t I do is boring,’ is true. And if I could not challenge that, then maybe it was time for me to do something else or develop more artists, which is something that I could do, but just growth. I just hope that I continue to move forward and challenge myself. I think that now that I’ve become a mother, I just want my legacy to inspire people. That’s the biggest goal, just having happiness and knowing that when people come to my shows, they can leave all the madness and leave there knowing that there is hope.”

Check out a clip of her answering questions below:

And can we talk about how gorgeous she looked last night too? Check out the photos (Photo Credit: Instagram):

Fabulous.