A writer for Essence Magazine points out that society as a whole is putting more of the blame on Ciara than Future, and it reinforces the guilt society usually places on single mothers who choose to date after breaking up with the fathers of their children.
Jordyne Blaise writes:
Future’s attitude (and the public’s reinforcement of his ideas) speak to the reality that many Black single mothers are subject to having their sexuality and decision-making policed. They are expected to provide round the clock care for their children all while being denied the freedom to simultaneously engage in romantic relationships. But these women are complete and complex human beings who should be allowed to date, to love, and to live full lives. They should not be criticized for new romantic relationships or for holding men accountable for the children they share.
…Comments like Williams’ and Future’s place blame on Black single mothers in ways that ring unfair. Society has painted these women with a broad brush, namely as welfare queens who trap unsuspecting Black men into a cycle of child support demands and nagging. Black single mothers are questioned at every turn, from spending habits to dating decisions; and asking the court system to interfere when seeking child support is often cited as an outright betrayal.
…When we vilify Black mothers who demand financial support from non-custodial fathers, we contribute to a cultural attitude that paints these women as greedy people squandering monetary benefits for personal gain. It suggests that Black mothers use child support as a means of punishing fathers. Those attitudes, whether perpetuated by financially strapped fathers, or asserted as a social norm, can result in dire consequences for some Black women. Just last week, a Maryland man, Daron Boswell-Johnson, confessed to murdering his two-year-old daughter and her 26-year-old mother, Neshante Alesha Davis, allegedly over a child support dispute.
Attacks on Black single mothers only serve to damage the children caught in the center of the conflict and the women raising them. While none of us outside of Ciara and Future can truly know the intimate details of their custody and support issues, we should all agree that publicly referring to the mother of your child as a “b*tch with control problems” serves no one. Ciara’s lawsuit takes an important stand, asserting her right to privacy and respect. The way we react to it, says a lot about our values. As we engage in conversations around these issues, let us not forget the impact demonizing Black mothers can have on women like Neshante Alesha Davis. We can do better, and they deserve that much.
What are your thoughts?
Corny couple but no lies were told. Ciara is getting dragged for doing what any smart woman would. It’s crazy.
It’s honestly disgusting that people hate women so much that she gets shat on for the very same things a man would be praised for. It’s truly a sickness in our society.
Well some women like f-ck boys so they are going to side with Future because they don’t even think they could have a good man in real life so settling for f-ck boys makes sense to them. And as for the men who are Team Future, well f-ck boys have to look out for each other right?
Typical Case of a man who can’t stand to see the mother of his child being independent to raise their kid. Wendy might criticize Ciara for getting with Future but what people need to do is applaud her for learning from her mistakes and moving on to better things. Russell Wilson is the proof that she has. Case closed
Cosign.
Wendy needs to worry about her own situation. She provides for her husband and he still cheats…eww.
Well said. I think a lot of people are mad because they can’t believe Ciara has moved onward and upward since Future. She wasn’t supposed to end up doing this well. They see her as a washed up singer but she’s managed to become a successful model and snag a much better man. They can’t take it.
This!!!
Exactly.
I definitely agree with this because all I keep seeing is Ciara is getting what she deserves for messing with Future and it’s all her fault. My take is this is a hard lesson for both her and Future to learn from. She never should have gotten involved with Future someone with 3 or 4 baby mama’s wasn’t going to settle down. As for Future its consequences of having multiple children with different women reality is other men are going to be in his kids life the mother of his kids have a right to move on. Also Ciara is not like his other baby mama’s based in ATL she works all over the world so he isn’t going to get the access to his son like he is with his other kids in ATL. Future has went on interview after interview trashed this girl on social media lied about the 15k a month, lied about her keeping their son away him I read the court documents on Sandra Rose blog who hates Ciara even admitted that Future lied on Ciara. Ciara finally stands up for herself with the lawsuit which if people read if he would take down the tweets and offer a retraction she would drop the lawsuit but its all Ciara’s fault smh.
Like Queen already pointed out, it’s jealousy on both sides. Women are jealous Ciara managed to get Russell Wilson despite all her baggage with Future, and men (including Future) are mad because men like Russell remind them how much of losers they really are.
Preach!
Bingo.
Ciara doesn’t have to tolerate mistreatment from any man, especially not Future. Anyone who thinks so needs therapy.
So this was a breath of fresh air. Finally someone with some common sense.
I don’t see how anyone can side with Future.
My thoughts……both are clowns and i wish they would keep their boring business to themselves. Neither one are considering their child by this tic for tack back and forth on the media. Grow up….i got my own problems. lol
Why the shade towards Ciara? Last I saw,Future is the one on social media disrespecting Ciara every chance he gets. She kept quiet,got her s-it together and letting her lawyers do the talking. I agree 100% with the Essence article. YOU Jus CONFIRMED What THE Author Was saying…
Ciara in playing tic for tact with tramp boy future. Future needs to be incarcerated for his behavior. This is a dangerous man (future) he may try and harm Ciara. Look at what just happened to that lady and her child all because the father did not want to support his own child. Ciara don’t need him he need her. Future plans did not work out. He thought he was going to get Ciara money. Ciara had a career before this future (mistake). And she have and will continue to be better. Ciara career is real talent future is a non talent wannabe. Future is a disgrace to men. Russell shows him just how much of a problem (loser) he is.
Don’t forget July 15, 2015 on the radio breakfast club future. You degraded Ciara and Russell saying their relationship is a publicity stunt. The truth is future “your whole non talent career is a publicity stunt.” The truth don’t feel good right? Jealousy is a illness.
But the women agree with him and the men applaud. Never understood why people and Wendell Williams feels their relationship is a publicity stunt. Freaking stupid. Why can’t they jus genuinely like each other dam..I’m sure Russell has better things to do then to pretend to like Ciara. .stupidity is on a all times high with some people. .
Meant an all times high
Be careful men and women. Future is a poor broken down DEVIL. With those goodwill hats he wears. Don’t forget he was the main character in that movie. Jeepers Creepers flying around in the air.
Wendy u are a disgrace to all strong black women. Future u have the kid with someone be man enough to take care of ur responsibilities and don’t let your jealousy and hate on a sister show be a man dude. As for my girl ciara girl keep on doing u for if the haters aren’t hating u ain’t doing something right.