Monifah says a sign from God told her to keep Akemi.
The episode begins with Monifah meeting Iyanla. Iyanla prefaces this meeting with Monifah with a displeasure with doing these sessions with celebrities. She then asks Monifah to stand in her truth and not to just be interested in preserving her image.
Once Monifah agrees, they jump right in. Iyanla not only learns she had her daughter at 19, she lost her father at 9 to a heroin overdose.
She also moved out of her mother’s house at 17, the same year she was raped at gunpoint. Monifah never told her mom about it. Two years later, she was pregnant by the boyfriend she was living with. However, she was close to aborting her pregnancy.
When she tells Iyanla she told her mom she didn’t feel maternal instincts, Iyanla connects it to her abortion. Iyanla tells her it’s because she didn’t want a child.
“Monifah birthed a child she didn’t want…” – Iyanla
Monifah’s dependency to alcohol and cocaine contributed to Monifah abandoning her daughter. In an interview, the addictions were merely a symptom of wanting to distance herself from her daughter.
Iyanla tells Monifah to give up on the hope of becoming a mother to her daughter. But rather, look at Monifah as an equal, woman to woman.
Iyanla gets Monifah’s daughter Akemi to speak up.
Afterwards, she meets with 26 year-old Akemi. Akemi isn’t naturally comfortable around Monifah. That’s because of the distance Monifah had with her. Monifah’s mom raised Akemi until she was 10.
Iyanla senses Akemi is quite soft-spoken and reserved because of the neglect. However, it didn’t stop Akemi from following in Monifah’s footsteps. She got pregnant at 16 and had an abortion. She revealed to Iyanla she never had a conversation with anyone about being 16 and pregnant.
Iyanla then has Akemi say Monifah stole her voice when Monifah frightened her, and her voice didn’t matter. Lastly, Iyanla gives her “permission” to be angry to Monifah and she wants to break her pattern of disfunction with her three children.
It may be too late because Akemi’s already expressing negative anger towards her three young children.
Next, Iyanla brings Akemi and Iyanla together in hopes they open up. Akemi didn’t like Iyanla “throwing” her journal in her lap. Iynala called it a distraction. Akemi says she’s sensitive. It comes out these feelings, that she shares with Iyanla, came from how her grandmother treated her.
Afterwards, Iyanla begins an exercise where they would get “mommy dollars” when they reveal positive things about their relationship with their mother. Akemi didn’t get much.
The exercise physically demonstrates that Monifah didn’t invest much time and positive energy into Akemi.
In fact, Iyanla gets Akemi to reveal to Monifah that she was scared of her growing up. This brings Monifah to tears.
Iyanla sends Akemi away for a moment to console Monifah.
Akemi vocalizes her pain from Monifah’s neglect.
She then heads off with cards for Akemi. Iyanla really wants Akemi to acknowledge her truth. She sets out the cards into a really blunt sentence for Akemi to say to Monifah.
One line really stands out to Iyanla and she has Akemi read it out loud.
“You selfish b****, you broke my heart, and I don’t know why.” – Akemi
Iyanla tells her not to say it rehearsed. Akemi also reads out loud, “Drugs were more important to you, than me.”
Iyanla then has Monifah to join her and Akemi to say these lines to her. This only breaks down a wall between both women. They then share an embrace.
Monifah then opened up, telling her she didn’t want a baby when she got pregnant. This broke them down even more, and Iyanla says it was progress.
The next day, Akemi and Monifah meet with Iyanla once more. Iyanla wants Akemi to open up to Monifah. To do this, Iyanla has Akemi give Monifah an “emancipation proclamation” of sorts. This is to symbolize Akemi reclaiming her adult being.
Monifah says she respects Akemi’s wishes and acknowledges she was emotionally abusive to Akemi.
At the end, both acknowledged one another’s truths.
What are your thoughts on the episode?
