In the difficult game of love, should we go after “The One” we can’t live without or should we just learn to love the ones that we can live with?
By: Amanda Anderson
Love is a really complicated thing. We spend most of our lifetime in search of it, and the other half of our lifetime trying to hold on to it. No matter how unsuccessful many of us have become in our conquests for the very thing that we all want so badly, it will always remain one of the most searched for pieces of happiness. Where we all differ is where we look for this love thing. Some of us believe that love plays by a certain book of rules. It is structured, well thought out, and has little room for risks. The rest of us believe love is too powerful to control, truly unpredictable, and a feeling that requires hardly any work on our parts except to fall hopelessly victim to “The One.” But as a young woman in my mid 20s, I wonder which side of the argument has it right. In love, should we play it safe and love those we can simply live with or should we just go after “The One” that we can’t live without? Does “The One” really exist, or should we all live our lives and love those are at least loveable?
Now before I give you my opinion on the matter, let us discuss the “loveable” people.
Loveable people are individuals that you know that you could deal with on a long term basis. They are friendly, thoughtful, and they actually want to settle down and build something with you. You deal with these individuals because they are mature, and pretty easy to get along with. There is total security in the relationship with “loveable” people, and you know it’s not too far of a stretch to actually care about this person. You can even see yourself loving them, but you know deep down inside that you might never fall in love with these loveable people.
The truth is, although they are loveable, there isn’t that spark that we used to see in some of our favorite fairy tales. They simply don’t take your breath away. But at least you aren’t lonely, right? I mean there’s nothing worse than a single woman (insert sarcasm).
It’s funny that you have to learn to love the “loveable” people. And that is the huge difference between “Loveable” people and “The One.” So who’s “The One” you ask?
“The One” is that one person that you don’t have to make an effort to love. This person may not have come into your life in enough time to save you from all those horrible relationships you had before, but when they do come into your life, you will understand why none of your other relationships worked.
You love just being around that person, and it isn’t even about the usual things like fancy restaurants or lavish gifts. With this person, even silence is precious.
This person is your life partner and your equal, so you don’t have to pretend to be anything else to prevent the ruffling of any feathers. They love you for you and you love them for exactly who they are. No changes have to be made when you find your match.
Now by no means is this perfect love. Perfect love is the love God has for us, but this type of love is just a result of two people who are totally comfortable with whom they are. And there is nothing sweeter than the beauty of two confident people who love themselves coming together to love each other. When you’re equally yoked with someone, there will be no need to play it safe or plan to love them later.
Now I’m not saying that “The One” equals “Happily Ever After.” What I am saying is that there are just some things that we have to remember in this game called life.
The fact of the matter is life is way too short to be with people that you think you can grow to love. Yes, that person is nice and all, but who doesn’t deserve to be with that person that takes their breath away?
Who doesn’t deserve to be with that person that makes all other relationships look like a huge waste of time?
And who doesn’t deserve to be equally yoked and have a life partner that makes life that much better?
In love, there is a choice we all have to make. But one thing’s for sure, those who are brave enough to never settle for what seems safe, will ultimately win big in the end. And that’s the feeling that they are with the person that they were destined to be with. There truly is no greater feeling.