Men Speak Bytes: Black Women Prefer Unavailable Black Men

A young black educated brother feels that black women prefer men that are unavailable and seek married men over the available brothers. As usual, we keep our subjects anonymous around these parts…

“I am a single black man with a lot to offer a black woman. I have my degree, a good paying job, I’m respectful, and I treat women with the highest respect. I know that women say it’s hard to find a good black man, but they never consider how hard it is for a good black man to find a good black woman. A lot of women are slutting it out like some of the men do, deceitful, and don’t seem to want a good black man. As much as they keep saying they can’t find one, you’d think they notice one when they meet him. False!

But what I have noticed is that a lot of black women tend to prefer men that are already taken. And it’s the married black men get all the women, so maybe I should go get a wedding band.”



  1. Oh wow. Not all black women go after married men…most of us do want someone that doesn't belong to someone else. But this isn't the first time I have heard a black man say this. smh

  2. I'm a man and this is somewhat true. I'm not sure if it's limited to black women though. Most women like men that are already taken. I guess it makes men look like they are capable of commitment. In reality, the man isn't really capable of commitment because he is willing to cheat on his spouse and/or partner. But for some reason, that fact is overlooked.Black men and black women share the same struggle rather we realize it or not. And that's the difficulty of finding a good person to make a partner. There's a lot of bitter and emotionally unavailable sisters and brothers out here. So it's like you have to fight a war to find a partner. It's crazy out here.

  3. IF a woman seeks out men that are unavailable, that speaks to something she has going on internally, but trust that is NOT the general consensus among black women. A wedding band is definitely a repellent to any sane single black woman, so I definitely wouldn't suggest that a single black man invest in a wedding band. Afterall, considering what you'd attract as a result from doing so? You're better off single..

  4. All black women don't mess with married men. I know that's what we see the black celebs doing, but they don't represent all black women. What we really need to talk about is why it's so hard for good men and good women to find each other. I'm tired of pointing fingers.

  5. Ha! Women as a whole prefer what's not good for them. A perfect example is the bad boy phase. We grow out of that, and then we enter the unemotionally unavailable man phase. It's just how it is. But as we mature, we realize that these types of men aren't good for us. But then there are some of us who never learn or really grow up. I'm not mad at this brother for vocalizing his frustrations, but there are still black women out here who respect the relationships and marriages of others. We're out here.

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