Her Trash, Your Treasure? Is It Ever Okay To Date A Friend’s Ex?

By: Taren Vaughan

Friends are those people who you can count on to be there for you through thick and thin. When nobody else stands behind you and supports you on the decisions that you make, friends are those people that will do that for you. You never hesitate to help them out in their time of need and are willing to give your last dollar to see that they are okay. Letting them borrow a couple dollars or even a pair of earrings are things that you give no second thought to at all. But what about if that “friend” of yours tried to date your ex boyfriend?

The mere thought of a close friend with your old boo on her arm will make some of us hot as hell. Forget a breaking point…A boiling point is more like it. This is the same girl who you talked to for hours on end about the troubles of your relationship with this man, or the positive aspects of it, only for her to try to become his next girl. Friends share a lot of things. But I don’t think ex boyfriends are at the top of that list. For those who see no fault in this whatsoever, what exactly is your logic? Is it because he is no longer with your “friend”, which makes him free game for anyone that’s been eyeing him from a far, including you?

Here is my take on the whole dating your friend’s former boyfriend scenario. I 100% value my friendships with my girls. And when I use the word friendship, it has some real meaning behind it. It’s only reserved for the people who I know have my back at all times, the ones that I can trust and who will be there for me at times when I truly need someone to lean on. And as my friend, any man that they are seriously involved with, whether they make it an official relationship or not, is totally and completely off limits to me.

I don’t care how long they dated. If it was for one short month or seven long years, I wouldn’t even go there. Because unlike some females, I don’t consider every woman I kick it with my friend. Some women throw the word “friend” around like Mike Vick throws a football. To them, everybody is a friend or home girl. Let me interject for a moment here. Just because you hung out with these females one time does not automatically earn them the friend title. It takes way more than that contrary to belief.

Dating a true friend’s, and when I say true I mean a person who fully meets the friend qualifications, man would not even be something to dwell on. It’s a simply answer to that question…No. It’s bad enough when you have to see your ex run off and get into a relationship with a new girl. But how much worse would it be if that new girl was your friend? Don’t think I have to even go there on the answer to that one at all.

With all the eligible bachelors in the world, why would you even be checkin’ for a friend’s ex anyway? Even though a lot of us have made up in our minds that there are no good black men left on the planet, that logic is far from true. There are still some good catches out there, just haven’t run across them yet.

Regardless of whether or not a friend tells you that she is okay with you dating her ex, that’s a move right there that you don’t want to make. Nine times out of ten, she’s probably bluffing, knowing that deep down she doesn’t want to see you with a man that was once hers. Furthermore, the friendship would become awkward. How would you look bringing “her man” to a get together, with everyone in the room knowing that he used to be involved with your friend? Spare yourself the embarrassing moments. Better yet, spare yourself the risk of losing a person who means more to you than a penis. At the end of the day, a man is not worth risking a valuable friendship, end of story.