Just another column from an educated black man who doesn’t spare feelings or advise women who want to get married to be so easy.
By: Mike J.
Some women will never get married because they’re just too easy.
Before I explain my first statement, it’s important that we first discuss what easy means. Easy is deeper than being a quick lay that required absolutely no work at the hands of smooth talking. Easy is deeper than only waiting two days to take a man home. Easy is deeper than how many sexual partners you’ve racked up in the last couple of years. Easy is deeper than any number, more complex than any reputation, and more misunderstood than any other facet of dating.
When a man considers a woman easy, he considers her weak and naive. It’s important that every woman understands that every man you encounter romantically will test you. It’s not just about sex, but we test women because that is how we are wired as human beings. We test women because we need to see how far we can go with you. You might say you won’t put up with our two timing ways, but we still need the proof.
Now I’m not saying we’ll cheat just to see if we can. No, we cheat because we know we can. At some point in our interaction, you made it clear that you needed us. You made it clear that you give second chances.
We need to see that you mean exactly what you say. We need to understand the kind of woman you are.
Women are auditory, men are visual. I need to see the kind of woman you are, but you keep wasting your time telling is the kind of woman you are.
We scope out our limitations and restrictions with you early on. When we make mistakes, we weigh your impending actions. When we cheat and you take us back, you’ve only confirmed that yes you’ll stay, even when you shouldn’t.
You need to know that I’m not even that guy. I don’t cheat. I’m faithful to my woman. I don’t engage in questionable activities with other women, and I always remember what I have at home. But I can’t say I didn’t test the waters to see if she was the kind of woman that didn’t need me. I have a thing for a woman that I know doesn’t need me. And I’ll most likely marry her because she doesn’t need me or anyone.
I’m not loyal because I was born this way. I’m loyal because I know my woman who doesn’t need me would leave if I wasn’t.
So many single women wonder why they keep attracting dishonest men. They wonder why they keep falling in love with men who creep. They wonder why cheaters can spot them out from across the room, and why they can’t seem to end up with men who love and respect them.
The truth is you already have attracted men that could love and respect you, but you gave them no motivation, no incentives to do it. Men will test you. We will see how far we can take it. Getting smarter each time, more disrespectful each inch we’re given.
If you want to get married, you have to develop the strength to not need us. And then just maybe you’ll find the one man who does need you.
I was waiting on this today. I love and I mean LOVE your column Mike. Every single woman needs to read these. Honest topic and keep giving your perspective. It’s helping somebody.
Thank you. I really hope you continue to support all of us here. Appreciate it.
I’m speechless. So I guess my question for Mike is what about the scarcity of men? It’s like we want to have options, but we’re scared that we may end up alone because of options. Thoughts?
Meh. Options are causing a lot of y’all to stay single. I say that because it causes women to get desperate. And kick it with people that you shouldn’t. Don’t lower your standards, just make sure you ain’t dating the wrong kind of dudes.
It is so hard to get out of old habits though. It’s kind of easier said then done.
Either you learn how to stand up for yourself and stop letting men run over you, or you can pretty much hang up the whole idea of ending up in a good relationship. Back in the day, women were pretty much born fearless. Y’all told men what was going down and what wasn’t. Now y’all chase us like we are the ones birthing kids. Stop playing yourselves.
I think fear of loneliness is messing with a lot of women’s heads. We know we should move on but we don’t feel like there is enough men out here to choose from. I guess that is where the whole not needing a man thing comes into play. Great points Mike.
Yeah girl fear of loneliness will get a woman in a heap of trouble. I learned that fast. LOL
You keep dropping wisdom on here. As a man, I can vouch and say we do what we feel we can get away with. You ladies have to make sure you establish what you will and won’t tolerate early on. If a man disrespects that and you stay with him anyway, he’ll keep taking advantage.
That makes sense but how does a woman set her standards early on? What’s the proper way to do that without scaring a guy off? I tried that and a man lost interest in me after the fact.
You don’t set standards to attract men, you set them to get rid of the bad ones. You should be relieved that you didn’t waste too much time on someone who didn’t want to meet them.
So you are disappointed that you ran off a guy that did not want you for who you are?
I’m a work in progress.
That’s the beauty of it. Keep doing you and growing!
This clears up so many things for me! It was right on time.
NOT EVERY WOMAN IS DYING FOR SOMEONE TO MARRY HER LOL. SOME WOMEN ACTUALLY JUST WANT TO LIVE AND HAVE FUN, HAVE A GOOD F-CK HERE AND THERE
THOSE AREN’T WOMEN, THOSE ARE HOES.