Nothing can hurt a relationship faster than the lack of monogamy. How did you know when you were being cheated on?
By: Amanda Anderson-Niles
Relationships can be complicated. The complexity that comes with dating is a natural result of two people coming together to share their love in a romantic way, and unfortunately, bumps in the road tend to be unpreventable. There are many factors that can cause a relationship to get to a dark place and to be consumed with problems, with many stemming from a place of selfishness; when people consider their own needs and wants more so than the needs of the person they are in a relationship with.
It is increasingly harder for a relationship to survive when both people just are not considering the other person’s needs.
Regardless of the many areas of problems a relationship can experience, nothing seems to be the most destructive than when a relationship is no longer monogamous, or to the naiveté of one person, never was.
Cheating is usually an activity that cannot continue on with discretion. People get caught, there are usually signs, and for most women; there is a feeling in the pit of your stomach, a gut feeling indicating that you are unfortunately in a relationship with someone who is no longer committed to you or the relationship.
It is pretty safe to say that most of us have been cheated on. The way we discovered our partner’s creeping ways were signs, pivotal signs that made us begin to question our partner’s loyalty.
So what were some of the signs that you noticed?
Was it a change in demeanor? No more returned phone calls? Sexy text messages and secret emails? Or did you run into your partner’s other boo thang on Facebook due to questionable photos and comments?
What are the flags every woman should pay attention to?
Speak on it.
For me, it was questionable Facebook activity from exes. He flirted too much in his statuses, which showed me that he really didn’t respect me or the relationship. I would just tell women to pay attention to what he does on the social networks. If he doesn’t even want to claim you on Facebook, I think that may be a sign something is up, My ex never wanted to put his true relationship status on profile, and now I see why. LOL
When they stop calling you back. Oldest red flag in the book. If it happens once in a while, fine. But on a usual basis? Huge flag. Hasn’t failed me yet.
When he gets real distant! My ex started acting really funny. Like we started to talk less, the chemistry started to decline..I just didn’t feel like he was in to me anymore. Turns out he wasn’t. I caught him because he left his Facebook account open and I saw the messages from some girl he went to college with who moved to our city. Huge mess. Hurt like hell, but I ended things for my own sanity.
I would just tell women to always go with your gut. A woman’s intuition is really just common sense wrapped up in a pretty package, sent from God. If you feel like something is up, keep your eyes open. And it will reveal itself. But it is important that women don’t become snoops or use their gut as a reason to be bitter about men. We have to be mature about this, Some men cheat, don’t waste your times with the ones who do…etc.
How about finding another woman’s panties in your house? I will never shack up with a man again. Yep!
Panties?!!! Please do tell!
It just happened a couple days ago. So it is still like a shock to me. I am still in my angry phase, so it’s taking everything in me to not kill this man. Long story short, we live together. Been together for years..I was cleaning up and found panties in the cracks of the couch. They aren’t mine. I kicked him out but I’m disgusted that he would have sex with someone else in our home. I guess I shouldn’t have shacked up but I thought it would strengthen the relationship. I just never expected a man to be that dumb in real life. Still can’t believe it. I am moving on though.
Why do I get the feeling that the chick he was sleeping with left those there on purpose? Anyway, sorry to hear that. You’ll find something better honey.
Girl I’m good. I’m strong, so I’ll deal. It’s a learning experience. And yeah, she did that mess on purpose. But I’m glad she did.
Damn. Keep your head up man.
I found a secret email account that he told me nothing about. After that, I started to feel like I couldn’t really trust him. I didn’t say anything, I just played along. Eventually he tripped himself up when she started acting crazy and calling him all the time. He started going in to other rooms to have conversations on his cell. That’s the thing with side chicks. They eventually get tired of being secrets and they will go out of their way to let YOU know what’s really going on. It’s so important that women aren’t so quick to dismiss other females because we think they are being jealous. Sometimes they just want you to know what your man is really doing.
I think the typical unreturned phone calls, leaves the room to talk on the phone, change in attitude, demeanor, etc is pretty much standard for every woman. We know when we are being cheated on. The question is who is going to really have the balls to move on? Most won’t. So men keep cheating.
I didn’t know I was cheated on until I found out that my ex was messing with her “friend” after she broke up with me. SMH…